I'm losing it over here

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jaimers617's picture
Joined: 10/30/09
Posts: 333
I'm losing it over here

I'm having a hard time these days over here. I go back to work Oct 27th. Mikayla doesn't sleep through the night and still gets up at least once, if not twice but doesn't always eat when she wakes up. During the day she sleeps WAY more, and apparently NEEDS to be held almost constantly. Its really wearing me down and I'm starting to feel super guilty for Ryder since she is demanding much of our attention. She could be in her swing fussing/crying, if we pick her up she instantly falls asleep. If we put her down, she'll wake back up. It's hard to take care of both of them when we are both home, but after I go back to work, my hubs won't be able to give them both as much attention. We are both stressed out with trying to get stuff done around the house and trying to take care of both kids. We are arguing more and more, and that's just adding to my stress. At night, we get frustrated and end up getting snippy with each other. I know it will pass and we'll look back and it will seem like such a short period, but right now if feels like an eternity....

Thanks for letting me vent. I hate to complain because we did ask for this...we knew it would be tough having two small kids. I just feel guilty for having to dote on Mikayla so much and Ryder is left to play more on his own.

WonderWomanExtrodinare's picture
Joined: 05/26/07
Posts: 1192

Awww... I am so sorry you are going through this! I can relate. Alex likes to be held most the time, too. I hope it gets better! Thinking of you!

mandi04's picture
Joined: 08/10/03
Posts: 2272

:bigarmhug: Isaiah's similar, though waking twice at night compared to my last two seems good since they were up every 2-3 hours round the clock, so that doesn't bother me so much but during the day is tough. If I'm holding him he'll sleep wonderfully but the minute I set him down his eyes pop open...except...if I lay him on his belly. I'm not sure how you feel about that but it might work. I don't mind during the day having him belly sleep because I can check on him often. At night he sleeps swaddled and somehow he does actually sleep, not sure what the difference during the day is...

MySweetAGL's picture
Joined: 08/26/04
Posts: 81

I feel for you! Alex still wakes at least 3x per night, but he sleeps with me so it doesn't bother me. But the toddler/new baby thing... it's rough! Our toddler is STILL trying to adjust. She's been super naughty since Alex came along! It will get easier, and you're right about it going by fast. A year from now seems like an eternity, but it will be here before we know it.

squirrel27's picture
Joined: 05/13/08
Posts: 781

I'm there with you!!! Luckily I'm getting more sleep now but it is hard. I cant imagine doing back to work right now... hats off to you ladies going back already.

As for toddler - same thing here. Soren is almost 26m and hes still pretty demanding for attention, and it is hard to give both kids attention sometimes. DH and I also fight more... frustrating! We are both tired and seem to clash easily lately. We try to talk it out but sometimes its tough. Soren has really gotten good at playing on his own. He's a bit older than Ryder but hes doing better with it now so hang in there, they do learn it. And it IS good for them to entertain themselves too.

:bighug:

Chris_85's picture
Joined: 10/14/08
Posts: 675

Oh hon, I wish I knew what to tell you, but i think *most* of us are still having a hard time. Lilly wakes twice a night to, and i joke that she is robo baby, since it seems like she is awake all the time, when i thot babies were soposed to sleep a lot. she only sleeps in her car seat during the day, or if i am holding her, she hates her PNP as soon as i set her down she wakes up.
I know its not much to compare to but I am hating my family for getting a puppy, i feel like i can't devote enought time to both of them on the days I am alone with both.
I dont want to be a thread stealer. so Just know that you are doing a great job, and dont feel guilty if you take 10 min to yourself each day.

Hugs to you and everyone else.

jaimers617's picture
Joined: 10/30/09
Posts: 333

Thanks ladies! It really helps to know we aren't the only ones having a tough time. Friends of ours had their baby 2 weeks before us and Maeve is sleeping like 9 hours a night consistently. I told my hubs its not fair since we had a tough baby the first time (in all aspects) so I thought we were all set with her since she was doing so great in the beginning. Thankfully she is happy when shes awake, unlike Ryder who was MISERABLE anytime he wasn't sleeping. The bickering between my hubs and I really sucks and hopefully we get her sleeping a little bit better and she starts accepting being put down so the two of us can at least stop being on edge.

Joined: 12/21/10
Posts: 529

I am so sorry. We are in a similar place as Lily cries/screams when she is awake and it causes great stress and I had to go back to work Monday (2 days ago) and we got snippy with each other yesterday and it breaks my heart that it is so hard...it is not what I expected. If possible I would recommend a date night (or few hours). I really think that it will help to be with DH and no kids around.

Good luck!!

kilahmaree's picture
Joined: 08/28/09
Posts: 951

I am so sorry! Lio sleeps a solid 4 hours, and then wakes about every 1.5 hours at night. But it's not too bad because he does just sleep with me.

Have you tried wearing Mikayla during the day so that you can still hold her and give Ryder attention? I wear Lio a lot so that I still have two free hands to play with Halloway, but he's still with me and can nurse or sleep or whatever.

lysa_v's picture
Joined: 06/17/10
Posts: 268

I'm so sorry you are going through this... It sounds stressful. I want more kids soon so Adrian isnt alone, but then again I realize how hard it is with TWO little ones! Try using a baby carrier, like a moby wrap or if you already have one use it, see if hes ok with being in that. I just ordered my moby wrap (a little late LOL) but i'm excited because Adrian always wants to be held also and it is hard to get anything done! I understand! Just know that THERE IS A LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL Smile Maybe try taking both of them to the park or something to have quality time with both. Or have DH watch Mikayla for a few hours to spend alone time with Ryder. Hope that helps.

Joined: 03/06/09
Posts: 1054

You're not alone in what you're going through. Her sleeping pattern sounds perfectly normal to me.
I learned quickly with DD1 to wear her whenever possible and while I hate having a messy house, sometimes it's better to just do the bare minimum and keep your kids happy. The stuff around the house will always be there, but you won't always have a baby to cuddle with Smile
Also, babies can sense stress and tension and it can affect how they sleep and act. Maybe a good mommy's day out or date night is in order for you to help regain perspective and get a break.

KerriWeasel's picture
Joined: 01/28/10
Posts: 464

I feel the same way and I only have one to contend with. Maybe going back to work may help ease your mind and take away some stress - just a thought.

Big hug to you. I can relate on the snippyness

jaimers617's picture
Joined: 10/30/09
Posts: 333

Ok...so here is the latest. We went to a friends house Sunday to watch football and hang out and their daughter is 2 weeks older than Mikayla. She has been sleeping thru the night for weeks now. Come to find out, they have their little girl on a 4 hr schedule: 8, 12, 4, and 8. She goes to bed at 8:30 and is up to eat at 5 or so. After we left, we decided to try Mikayla every 4 hrs. She had been snacking all day long for weeks and would only eat like 2 or 3 oz at a time...and it was a struggle!! So, we thought she just wasn't hungry enough. So, on Tuesday we tried her with the 4 hours, and she slept 6.5 hours!! Yesterday we did it again and she ended up sleeping 9 hours!!! I seriously am so happy! And she is happier during the day which is great. She will sleep on and off between feedings and never gets fussy while eating now. It is seriously a huge weight off our shoulders. I still feel terribly guilty for Ryder, but I'll have to start wearing Mikayla, or just suck it up Smile

Jessica - I know how hard it is to have a tough baby, but it definitely gets better and easier! I really hope she starts improving soon...I know how stressful it is. There were days when I would come home from work and my hubs would hand Ryder off to me and go out in the garage for a break. While I had Ryder, he was either crying, fussing, or sleeping for a couple minutes. He constantly needed to be walked around and even that didn't always work. Have you tried cutting ALL dairy out of your diet?

Alyssa - We were the same way with wanting them close, and while its hard now, I know it will be great in just a couple months Smile

Thanks again, ladies! Its so nice to have support from people in the same situation!

Joined: 12/21/10
Posts: 529

Jamie, I have not yet cut out dairy but I think I am going to try it. I read that it takes up to six weeks to make a difference and right when I was about to try she seemed better. This week was her first at the babysitter as I went back to work and the sitter says that she does very well and then she comes home and screams for us. She fights with the boob, refuses the bottle and just screams herself exhausted and then falls asleep around 6-8 and stays asleep until about 12-2 and eats great and goes right back to sleep. I just don't know what we are doing wrong and it is so hard. My dad and step-mom are going to babysit on Saturday so that we can have a date (and a break).

I am glad that the 4 hour schedule is working for you, that is super!!

KUP!

KerriWeasel's picture
Joined: 01/28/10
Posts: 464

Explain how the 4 hour thing works, please Smile

AK2663's picture
Joined: 09/03/08
Posts: 710

"jessica2575" wrote:

Jamie, I have not yet cut out dairy but I think I am going to try it. I read that it takes up to six weeks to make a difference and right when I was about to try she seemed better. This week was her first at the babysitter as I went back to work and the sitter says that she does very well and then she comes home and screams for us. She fights with the boob, refuses the bottle and just screams herself exhausted and then falls asleep around 6-8 and stays asleep until about 12-2 and eats great and goes right back to sleep. I just don't know what we are doing wrong and it is so hard. My dad and step-mom are going to babysit on Saturday so that we can have a date (and a break).

I am glad that the 4 hour schedule is working for you, that is super!!

KUP!

Cutting out ALL dairy has made a night and day difference over here. It was really hard at first but I am hardly bothered by it now 2 wks later. We just started noticing a difference after about 8 days. She is still a fussy baby, but it is drastically reduced from what it was. At night she only wakes once in a 12-13 hour period. Also...try holding her belly down on your forearm with her head in the crook of your elbow. This is Em's new favorite way to be held. I never put her on her belly because I thought it would make her barf more, BUT the speech therapist at the children's hospital told us that their stomachs are in front and esophagus in the back so it is actually harder to reflux that way. Does make her drool though Wink The docs also told us that having some good days mixed in with the bad is totally normal and screws with your brain when trying to figure out what is and isnt working :rolleyes:

JAMIE!! Explain the 4hour thing!!