kinda mia

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Chris_85's picture
Last seen: 2 years 7 months ago
Joined: 10/14/08
Posts: 675
kinda mia

Sorry I have been kind of MIA lately, but things are lets say complicated. when aren't they.

The best thing that is going on is Dh finally felt baby move for the first time Tuesday night. I am currently getting the butt kicked out of me by this little one, and I am loving every minute of it.

We have been prepping the house for our new floors, but since the weather hasn't been to cooperative we are behind.

maybe tmi/ mini vent

I am going through some rough times with Dh, and I am not sure if it is just the hormones talking or the stress or what have you. I am feeling very unattractive and the longer we go with out having intimate time the worse I feel, and trust me it is not like i haven't tried to initiate things. Before we got pg we had a good sex life but ever since I hit the 2nd tri it seems as if Dh is too comfortable with my pg, as in he rarely even pays me any attention, and i am lucky to get it once a week.

He had the nerve to say the reason why we had so much sex before was because we were ttc, and let me tell you that was not the case before we ttc.
He has pushed me away every time this week and I have tried to talk to him but it is just getting worse. I feel like giving up and not ever trying again because it makes me feel bad and then i cry. All he does is rub my tummy every night. I am feeling neglected and lonely. the last time he told me i have gross back hair. I mean OMG he didn't have to say anything or he could have said " oh honey im sorry your hormones have cause you to get some back hair." that would have been better that calling me gross.

I mean wouldn't you feel like giving up on the person you love if they just kept making you feel horrible about your self.

He says he will try to do better but i have been hearing that for weeks. I don't think i am being demanding, but i can't go on feeling so crappy it can't be good of the baby.

Okay end of min rant.

so yeah i haven't been happy at all this week. and didn't want to rub off on any of you.

isuche02's picture
Last seen: 4 years 1 month ago
Joined: 10/08/08
Posts: 1122

Pregnancy is a very trying time, especially on a relationship. It is even harder adjusting to life with a newborn. Many men seem to have a hard time with it - even though they aren't carrying the baby - there are many changes in their life. They have a hard time adjusting to the changes too.

I love my DH to death but being a supportive DH during pregnancy he is not. With my first DD, I had a very hard time understanding why he wasn't what I always invisioned he should be. I was upset and angry a lot. This time I know what to expect and I can understand his side better so we are doing better. He is trying a little harder too but there still is a big gap.

With any major life change, both people in a relationship have a lot to deal with. Neither act themselves and it is a very difficult challenge for any couple to overcome.

I sympathize with you - it is not easy. :bigarmhug:

gdsgft007's picture
Last seen: 4 years 3 months ago
Joined: 08/29/09
Posts: 418

Before I was put on bed rest, I was experiencing the same thing you are. I'd ask and get all kinds of excuses. Little comments and remarks would really hurt my feelings. I felt very unattractive(and I still do at times). It took my cousin to help me to see that men go thru changes too as our bodies change. They don't know how to relate. I'm not excusing the behavior, just trying to help you get some understanding maybe. I ended up talking to my DH, really talking to him, and he promised to do better. So far he has been.

As far as the intimate part, your body is changing and maybe he feels that he will hurt the baby or you. I would, if you could, let him know how important that is to you and see if the two of you could come to some kinda middle ground on it. When my DH and I were having this problem, I let him know that even if the actual act didn't happen, his touch(if you know what I mean)would be very much appreciated.

I am so sorry you are feeling this way and going thru this. I hope things get better. Here's a hug for you in the meantime.:bigarmhug: