Other kids up your butt?? *Updated Post 7*

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AK2663's picture
Joined: 09/03/08
Posts: 710
Other kids up your butt?? *Updated Post 7*

Ok so my DD has been driving me BATTY...she is under foot constantly and wants to be touching me at all times. She won't let DH put her down at night or carry her or play with her. She literally throws a fit! She is always asking where I am if I manage to escape to pee alone or have to run to the car real quick. Even getting out of the car and walking around to her side to get her out she has started saying "Don't leave me mommy!"...WTW! I have never left her Sad And I would think she knows I'm always coming back to get her from wherever she is (Daycare, nana's, grocery store etc...)

Now Im wondering if it's just because I am home with her 3 days a week this summer (I'm a teacher and she is in daycare 2 days a wk still) OR does she feel the impending change of this baby coming soon? She is also much more whiney and needy in general (which I know is part 2yr old behavior).

Anyone else having this? Or BTDT mommy's have some advice?

joysiloo's picture
Joined: 09/04/06
Posts: 1054

This is happening at our house big time. Daphne is constantly saying things like "I'm your baby too, mama?" And she wants to be physically touching me at all times. It makes me feel really bad. She's clearly feeling anxious about being displaced by the baby. I've been letting her act like a baby and saying things like "you'll always be my baby" and "I love you when you're a baby and when you're a big girl". I'm trying to give her all the attention I can because I know her little world is about to be totally rocked.

Mustanglisa's picture
Joined: 02/26/09
Posts: 324

Kids go through some fun phases don't they? DD did this some time ago also, way before pregnancy, separation anxiety for the most part. When she was about 18 months old I was laid off for 3 months, she got so used to me being there everyday, then I went back to work full time and it took us almost 2 months to get back into our normal routine. It was horrible, clingy, crying when I left, bedtime was a disaster. Then for no reason she did it again at about 2 1/2.

Joined: 03/06/09
Posts: 1054

DD was going through this a few weeks ago. Bedtime was horrible, DH couldn't do anything with her, she cried if I left her with him for a few hours. I think she was sensing that things were changing. I just started letting him do more and started making sure that when I did spend time with her, that I was reassuring her that she wasn't being displaced, but allowing her to realize that she could be "safe" with dad too. I have to take into account that sometimes they are testing to see if they "get away" with certain things. I've been reinforcing the idea that this baby will be "hers" too. She's been fine since and back to being her normal, happy, non-clingy self.
Your DD will outgrow it and quickly realize she's not being loved any less just because a new baby is coming Smile

squirrel27's picture
Joined: 05/13/08
Posts: 781

Aww I'm sorry DD is being a pain.

My explanation for everyones kids this week ... (and hubbys) ... ITS A FULL MOON!!!
lol

Anyway, my DS is being extra fussy at times. I think part of it is I'm also shorter on patience these days and stressed about house and nursery and baby, so that definitely doesnt help. And he has my cold too.

I dont really think my DS understands that a new baby is coming. I feel bad that he doesnt see it coming... but we'll find a way to deal with it.

bumblybees's picture
Joined: 03/24/10
Posts: 559

have you started reading books to her about being the big sister? the usbornne series has one called New Baby that we've really liked. it shows how the older kids are big helpers and an important part about caring for baby. Also shows mommy feeding the baby (not the nipple) but its quietly appearant that she's breastfeeding. which was great for us because when DS2 was born DS1 understood that he was getting Mommy's milk and it was normal and ok.
we've started trying to read the same book to DS2 but he just doesn't sit still that long for that kind of book. now if it had trucks or planes on it we'd be all set. haven't found a big brother book like that yet though. Biggrin

AK2663's picture
Joined: 09/03/08
Posts: 710

Thanks for the support ladies. This whole day has been a mess and resulted in me crying for 30 min after I put her down for a nap. She was a mess when she woke up screaming about wanting to watch Mickey...well it's only DVR'd on the tv in the family room so I put it on and got her set up in our chair then walked in my room to get a recipe from the laptop. It didn't take but a minute for her to come running after me. She climbed on the bed next to me and put my arm around her to snuggle in as close as possible. When I got up 15 minutes later to pee she cried so hard she fell trying to get off my bed to follow me in the bathroom (our bed is high up and we have hardwood Sad ). I convinced her to get dressed so we could go grocery shopping and said I would buy her a doughnut at DD in Walmart before we shopped. Well she refused the doughnut when we got there, refused to ride in the cart wanting me to carry her, so needless to say she cried through most of the trip because I cannot carry her and push the cart at this point. She ended up walking next to me and would randomly cry either at me not holding her or not letting her get something (candy mostly). Then we get home and put away groceries quickly (didn't end up being able to buy much). She was crying for yogurt so I told her Id get her some, then she didnt want it anymore. I started trying to do dishes but she was underfoot and I kept tripping on her so I put Mickey on, put her in her chair and gave her the yogurt. She was thrilled, I went back to dishes. Less then 10 min later I go in and she managed to get out of her chair and instead of eating the yogurt she has painted herself in it...literally hair, face, arms, legs, everything. I stripped her down and hosed her off in the tub while she screamed. Got her dressed again while she screamed. Went to make her sippy of milk for nap time, come back literally a min later and she is chewing on a paintbrush with green paint on it (No idea where it came from!). I calmly took it and told her we dont chew on those, they are for painting not eating. She says "I didn't mommy"....with green teeth and tongue. New battle of brushing teeth ensues. After that I just gave her the milk and put her in her bed screaming. I have never given her a drink to go to bed with but I was DONE.

Mind you I was in hospital last week for preterm labor and am on restricted activity. YEA RIGHT.

I ended up crying in my room for awhile and now I am calmer and laying down.

Holy hell I'm over this day. When DH gets home I am locking myself in my room and not coming out. I'm even going to act like I'm leaving so she doesn't know Im here.

Normally I can handle days like this, but feeling so crappy myself with contractions and just shear body exhaustion, it's not happening today.

AK2663's picture
Joined: 09/03/08
Posts: 710

oh and we do have books we are reading. Both from the motherhood store I believe. One is called "when you were inside mommy" and the other is "I'm a big sister". She loves them both like crazy.

akpufa's picture
Joined: 01/31/08
Posts: 3078

:lurk:

I have a 23 month old who has been acting especially clingy lately a lot like what you are describing. She's always been 100% a mommy's girl, but it is ridiculous lately. I'm a SAHM so I know that she is used to me being around all the time, but usually if my mom or MIL takes her (for a dr appt, if DH & I go to dinner, etc), she's pretty much fine with it. The last month though, she throws a huge fit and grabs for me and tells me "Mommy, come!" I swear she subconsciously just knows what is going on (she obviously isn't old enough to grasp the whole concept). And I feel so bad because I know that I have way less patience than normal lately and that her world is about to be flipped upside down. Sad Anyway, just wanted to say that I'm going through it too but I'm sure in a few months, we'll get back into a new routine and life will be all peachy again...just a matter of surviving the next little while. Hang in there *hugs*

VCoates's picture
Joined: 05/22/07
Posts: 1055

I am so sorry you are dealing with this!! Girl, take a break! Leave her with DH and go get a manicure and/or pedicure or something. Go to a movie by yourself or meet a GF. Hopefully this is just temporary and gives you some relief soon.

Big hugs!!

isuche02's picture
Joined: 10/08/08
Posts: 1122

Izzie was very clingy, very much a mommas girl the last couple of weeks before the babies were born. I think she could tell something was going on. She definitely had a change in behavior.

jaimers617's picture
Joined: 10/30/09
Posts: 333

Oh no! I can see why you'd be over the day already! I hope today is going a little better for you so far. Sometimes its just SO hard to deal with that while preggo - even not preggo! I hope you got a break when your hubs got home last night. On days like that - I would make my hubby take the little one and go out so I could have some quiet time.

AK2663's picture
Joined: 09/03/08
Posts: 710

Yesterday was better and today will be too. I took her to daycare yesterday and she goes today too Smile Our daycare is awesome and caters to mostly teachers and gives the option of part time (as many days as you want) or not coming at all during the summer. You still keep your spot for fall, but only pay for the days you attend (or not at all if they dont go!). I'm taking them up on the part time now because it's just better for everyone!

She benefits from seeing someone other then me to play with, and of course I can do my errands, appts and household stuff without her underfoot!

bumblybees's picture
Joined: 03/24/10
Posts: 559

thats an awesome arrangement. and good for both of you to get away from each other.

squirrel27's picture
Joined: 05/13/08
Posts: 781

"AK2663" wrote:

She benefits from seeing someone other then me to play with, and of course I can do my errands, appts and household stuff without her underfoot!

I second this. Even just a morning or afternoon away is great for both mom and kids!

I dont have "daycare" for DS as our daycare was my mom and a family friend who watched him while I worked. The good thing is that they both are happy to take him anytime for me over the summer. Today we just spent time at my moms - she was happy to run around after him (she said she missed him lol) and I was able to sit and rest a bit. So all around good.