shower vent

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KerriWeasel's picture
Joined: 01/28/10
Posts: 464
shower vent

I thought I would jump on the baby shower wagon. I haven't had mine yet. I have the first one this weekend. I am not looking forward to it.

My mom is throwing me a shower. Now before I sound like a terrible, self-centered daughter, let me explain. When I was around 3 months my mom told me she was not going to throw me a shower. I told her this was fine. (My feelings were a bit hurt, considering she would not throw me a shower for my wedding and me and my DH ended up throwing a couple's shower/party). I was fine with her not throwing one because two of my friends remembering how we didn't have a wedding shower said they were going to throw us a shower.

I also told her that I didn't want her throwing me one, as kind as it was and appreciative I was at the gesture, I have few friends left in the town my parents live in. Among those few, you can rely on less than half of them to show up. Well guess how pissy she got when two days after the invites (seriously 2 days!!!) went out no one responded. She told me she was going to start calling them, I said wait until the RSVP date draws closer. Then I find out she had my brother Facebook email them and ask if they were going. Seriously?!

And since I only know about 5 people still left in the town, she invited her friends who I barely now. I feel really strange about having people I don't know there especially when they are bringing gifts.

She has asked me what type of food I wanted and drinks and then decided on what she wanted. Then she asked if there was any certain type of game I wanted to play. I told her that I wanted to do what they did on Grey's Anatomy (sorry I'm a fan) and have the guest design onesies with puff paint or t-shirt paint. I told her that I had about a dozen plain onesies in various colors. That way I get a one-of-a-kind outfit for Lizzie designed by a friend. She finally greed to this once my sister-in-law said this was an awesome idea and wished she would have done it for her shower a month ago.

This brings me to why I think she is actually having the shower. I think the only reason she is throwing this shower is because my sister-in-law's mom through one. She and my mom had a running competition on who could out do the other during my brother's wedding last year. Even going so far as to fight over who cold wear blue to the wedding. She has made subtle little drops like, "Well I think this will be better than Allison's shower because...." or "I just want you to have something nice like allison's shower, but I'm not as good as doing this as Allison's mom. But I think my ideas are better."

I seriously hope my sister-in-law, Allison, who is due June 27th goes into labor during the shower to help get rid of any awkward moments, considering she invited Allison's mom to the shower. They are ivil to each other but don't get along.

Thanks for listening to me vent. I know this is extremely long. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I just wish she would respect my wishes. I told her not to throw one because my two friends were and it's a couple shower. We are expecting a ton of people because my husband wants to see his friends. (They are all spouses of the girls going to the shower). We just wanted to get together with all our friends and catch up. Most have some children, infants or are pregnant and it's hard to catch up. But she just tells me I am being ungrateful because she is trying to do something nice. And then she throws the "and Allison's mom did it for her."

LauraMae78's picture
Joined: 01/10/11
Posts: 969

aw im sorry. i would be so pissed if someone messaged my friends on FB cause they didnt RSVP. i had 2 ppl rsvp to mine, but that is pretty norma.! However, whatever happens enjoy the day and hey, gifts from strangers are still gifts LOL though i know exactly what you mean! my mom wanted NO parts of my baby shower! she made it clear from the beginning. well, she wanted to be there but that was it.

on the other hand, now that you mentioned the Grey's Anatomy shower (im a fan too) i now have to make you a homemade onsie from me to you!! Biggrin

jaimers617's picture
Joined: 10/30/09
Posts: 333

Oy - that definitely doesn't sound like the best circumstances for a shower. I would be pretty upset if I kinda thought the reason my mom was throwing me a shower was because somebody else's mom threw one and she was trying to out-do her. I suppose it is still nice that she's throwing the shower for you. It would be even nicer if she was doing it cuz she wanted to and took your suggestions into consideration. But...hey - what are moms for Smile

As far as the strangers go...I can't really say much about that. At both my shower's (bridal and baby) my MIL had her friends come and I know ZERO of them. I've met a couple of them maybe once or twice over the 10 years my hubs and I have been together, but thats it. I definitely don't have a problem with that as I know they were there to support her since it is an exciting time for her too.

The onesie game sounds fantastic! What a great idea! I wish we had thought of that for my shower for my first!

KerriWeasel's picture
Joined: 01/28/10
Posts: 464

I am glad she is doing it, but I just wish she was doing it for the right reasons.

And I never thought about her friends being there to make her comfortable and to support her. Thanks for that. Smile

jaimers617's picture
Joined: 10/30/09
Posts: 333

Ya - I hear ya on that one. I'm sure it sours the whole idea of the shower. Even if that was mainly the reason she was doing it, she could at least not make it so obvious...that would make it easier on you.

isuche02's picture
Joined: 10/08/08
Posts: 1122


That sounds frustrating.

gdsgft007's picture
Joined: 08/29/09
Posts: 418

Wow! What an ordeal. Try not to be too upset. On the bright side, you will get plenty for the baby.

VCoates's picture
Joined: 05/22/07
Posts: 1055

I'm so sorry. I've got family like that too. Well, try to enjoy it and think of all the good stuff you'll get form baby.

squirrel27's picture
Joined: 05/13/08
Posts: 781

Ohhh I love Greys Anatomy too!! And yes the onesie thing is a great idea!

I'm sorry you have all the drama of "because _____ did it". Thats not really the best way to look at it, but as pp said, the benefit is that you get lots for your baby and for you!

I also ahve been at showers where its mainly friends of the mother or aunt or whoever is throwing the shower. As my mom explains it - she'd been to a TON of showers for her friends kids and grandkids - so its their turn to pay it forward, KWIM? And I've definitely done that as well for people who I may not know well, but they've done it for me. (ie wedding showers or baby showers). They arent complete strangers but when they are acquaintances it's good to do (plus its good Karma, if you believe in it). Smile I have coworkers who threw me a shower for DS, so now that one of them is getting married next month, I've given her a present at the "work shower" for her too.

rubyslippersbaby's picture
Joined: 12/29/10
Posts: 324

I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I understand why you feel that way, and you do have a right to.

I hope it goes okay and turns into a nice evening for you!

ange84's picture
Joined: 12/28/09
Posts: 6564

"jaimers617" wrote:

The onesie game sounds fantastic! What a great idea! I wish we had thought of that for my shower for my first!

My friends did this with bibs and singlets and it is great because my DS has all these one of a kind items most with various people's names on them. It was so funny when I took him to daycare one day with a singlet under his clothes with a friends name on it, they were a little puzzled until I explained that afternoon.

Joined: 12/21/10
Posts: 529

I was dreading my shower b/c of all the drama but when everyone got there I was so busy having fun I forgot it all. I hope the same is your experience.