How many of you that are "done" wonder if you're really "done"?
I just need to get these weird feelings out.
A tad of background.....
** Sad Warning**
before DS1 i was pregnant with a little one till 18 weeks then the poor thing went on ahead of me and i'll see him/her again one day.
So then we had DS 1 via a VERY unwanted unnecessary c-section. but the feelings of vindication of being able to carry a child to term were there. and it was VERY strong feelings of wanting to have more babies
DS2 via sucessful VBAC
DD 1 via sucessful VBAC this one was all natural. the emtions and raw power were so strong. it was like if you run and you cross that finish line at teh end of a raw that adrenaline high. it was soooo strong.
its hard to discribe how having those feelings made me feel. addictive...maybe that's the word.
i'm addicted to wanting to have another pregnancy to fill my body with another life. i never feel so sexy so alive as when i'm pregnant. yeah i hated parts of having to pee every 20 seconds and things like that but overall it was such a womanly experience. birthing especially this last time was so wonderful.....i want to do it again.
but then i look at my kids and my life and don't see that other person missing....after DS2 when we thought we were "done" i just knew someone was missing, this time its not there...... but yet.... oh i don't know. is it the "addiction" or really missing another baby?
(it doesn't help that both my mom and my MIL have both said we're going to have twin girls next).
thanks for letting me ramble
sigh.... i probably doesn't help as well that 2 of my friends are pregnant, another one actually just told me this morning she's expecting so that makes 3 and a 4th friend is trying.
i know....i'm nuts.