TMI question

12 posts / 0 new
Last post
bumblybees's picture
Joined: 03/24/10
Posts: 559
TMI question

Sad hopefully you ladies have got some ideas for me.

What makes your sex drive disappear? lack of testosterone? Sigh...i love my DH. i'm super attracted to him but the drive to DTD is just not there. i'm tired....which doesn't help but i'm just not feeling it.
probably not having my body back doesn't help either.

is there anything that maybe my body is missing chemically that could be affecting it?

help!

Nell4Him's picture
Joined: 10/25/06
Posts: 2455

I'm not sure the right answer to the question. But things that have helped me to "get in the mood" are sexy movies, foreplay, remembering our first weekend alone together (we were young and dtd ALOT that weekend), and tequila is a great mood setter for me. Lol

When I'm just not in the mood, it sometimes takes quite a bit to get me there, but I've found it's worth the extra work for our marriage. I always feel better afterwards and "closer" to DH. Regardless of who really got me going (Vince Diesel, anyone?) Wink

bumblybees's picture
Joined: 03/24/10
Posts: 559

LOL....yeah Vin Disel would do it. maybe i need to go back to reading romance novels.

So in other words there is no magic switch i could flip.

i just wish my DH would tell me i'm sexy or whatever at times other than when he's trying to get me in the mood. i mean it helps then, but a girl likes to hear that she looks good when making pancakes...KWIM??

VCoates's picture
Joined: 05/22/07
Posts: 1055

There are a lot of times when I'm not in the mood but I'll eventually get there if I let dh try.

You mentioned reading. There is this series, the In Death series by JD Robb, pseudonym for nora Roberts and those books always have a couple really good sex scenes. I would listen to them at work and they seriously make me want to go home and jump dh.

Chris_85's picture
Joined: 10/14/08
Posts: 675

Okay so this may sound silly but it has been working for us.

We have talked about how we want to be treated, I told my Dh about how nothing was the same for me, and i needed help to find what was good for me now, Becasue it seemed as if he wasn't in Tune with me. He said he was sorry he didn't realize this and for him apparently he says sex is better than ever.
we found out that it helps if both of us make an effort to flirt with each other, kind of like when we were dating.
Everyone wants to be told they are sexy or beautiful, handsome and so on. The more Dh and I flirt, and say nice things to each other the more we think about dtd or even if we are way too tired we cuddle more now too.

I hope you can find what works for you.

Joined: 12/21/10
Posts: 529

Chris, that is a great photo of Lilly!!

Anyway...to the topic. I have no idea as I am with Gretchen...I have absolutely no desire and we have not since Lily was born. I feel guilty about it which probably does not help and DH says that it is okay but I feel bad. I want to want it but I really don't...at...all.

LauraMae78's picture
Joined: 01/10/11
Posts: 969

"Nell4Him" wrote:

I'm not sure the right answer to the question. But things that have helped me to "get in the mood" are sexy movies, foreplay, remembering our first weekend alone together (we were young and dtd ALOT that weekend), and tequila is a great mood setter for me. Lol

When I'm just not in the mood, it sometimes takes quite a bit to get me there, but I've found it's worth the extra work for our marriage. I always feel better afterwards and "closer" to DH. Regardless of who really got me going (Vince Diesel, anyone?) Wink

OOH LA LA Janelle!! i am a BIG fan of Vin Diesel (and i dont car which way he swings Wink ) my current crush, the blond hottie that played Thor in the movie Thor. :drool: Damn it, where is DH when i NEED him Lol

i just dont want to DTD anymore either. dont get me wrong, if i am PUT in the mood i will eventually get there...even then it takes quite a while. but then, we are seriously lacking in the emotional ooey gooey sweetsy stuff. i cant even remember the last time DH made me feel beatiful or told me that i was beautiful. i NEED the ooey gooey sweetsy stuff to get in the mood properly. i keep trying to tell him this, he doesnt listen. I wish men would realize that we do not function like a light switch....

Joined: 03/06/09
Posts: 1054

First off, the low levels of estrogen that suppress ovulation when you're bfing, also suppress your desire. Of course, the lack of sleep and the exhaustion of taking care of a newborn doesn't help. This is the first time I've had the disappearance of my sex drive and it's very frustrating. Like everyone else, I can get in the mood if I try, but I'm definitely not initiating anything.

Nell4Him's picture
Joined: 10/25/06
Posts: 2455

"LauraMae78" wrote:

and i dont car which way he swings Wink

Okay, I must be really behind on my news. (well, I never read or watch it)... he's gay? That's so damned surprising! I never would have guessed it. But then again, I'm probably type casting him anyway. Wink

bumblybees's picture
Joined: 03/24/10
Posts: 559

i'm with you Nell i had no idea either

kilahmaree's picture
Joined: 08/28/09
Posts: 951

I'm not sure if you are breastfeeding or not, but I know a lot of woman have a low sex drive while breastfeeding. Mine was gone after having DD. when she was about 6-7 months it picked back up, and it's been pretty good since (she is still BFing at 20 months, so something worked since we have Lio ;)). I know a good Cosmo can always get me in the mood, lol. I was on a plane yesterday and DH and I both had babies sleeping on us and after reading Cosmo I wanted to jump him soooo bad. Of course, by the time we made it home the babies were crabby and nothing came of it. ::sigh::

LauraMae78's picture
Joined: 01/10/11
Posts: 969

"Nell4Him" wrote:

Okay, I must be really behind on my news. (well, I never read or watch it)... he's gay? That's so damned surprising! I never would have guessed it. But then again, I'm probably type casting him anyway. Wink

he came out a while back that he is Bi....

doesnt bother me at all, im not interesting in anything other than undressing him with my eyes HAHA