how to help a friend with preemies?
hi ladies! i was hoping to get some advice or insight from you all.
my best friend just delivered 26w6d twins last week. the baby girl is pretty stable, although oxygen sats are still not great even with constant vent. the baby boy is developing a lot of problems and complications...collapsed lung, super high bilirubin, low kidney function, and now today they were just told he has a grade 4 brain bleed. they meet with the neonatal neurologist tomorrow to discuss baby's prognosis. my friend is worried doctors will start advising that they withdraw care. also, she and her husband's relationship is very strained so it is hard for them to make decisions together (they were having problems before the twins were born, but this NICU stress is really taking it's toll). her momma instinct tells her to give the little guy every fighting chance, and if he eventually has severe disabilities, she will find a way to cope with that.
i just feel so helpless in my attempts to support her through this. i live on the other side of the country from her now, so all i can do is give her lots of messages of love via cards, text messages, emails, etc., with no expectation that she respond unless she feels like talking in that moment.
is there anything that people said or did for you while you were a NICU momma that was helpful or anything not helpful that i should avoid?