... did you really WANT to have twins?
People tell me all the time (mostly older women) that they really, really wanted to have twins and were always disappointed with all their singletons. Really?
Personally, I was freaking out and overwhelmed and even cried when I found out I was having twins. I love my boys and I'm so thankful for them... but I would have spaced them out by a few years if I had a say in the matter! I just don't get the appeal. I've never worked harder in my life. I don't have the time to really enjoy my kids because I'm just taking care of their needs all the time, if that makes sense. I don't think people 'get' how hard it is sometimes.
I feel the same way. I also hear that from older women all the time. Although, I have had some women who are the same age or younger tell me that they want twins. I think I just give them an "are you insane?" look!
I love my twins and I think it is wonderful that our family worked out the way it did. My DS is 6 years older (well 5 y, 11 mos, but who is counting) and the girls now have each other as a sibling. We always wanted 3 kids and we got that done in 2 pregnancies. So, I think that things worked out perfectly.
That being said, there are days when I look at families that have just singletons and wish I was in their shoes. I see how much easier it is to have a newborn/toddler and older siblings. They can get out and about so much easier. We still struggle, even at almost 2 yo. Everything feels like a chore. I have a friend with an older DS and twin girls (her kids are 24 and 22 now) and she has said that there were many occasions that she got in her car after getting everyone loaded and just sat there feeling exhausted. She said that everything was a production and she was exhausted all the time. That is how I feel quite often. I am so thankful that we are able to afford a "nanny" when I am off in the summer. Just having another set of hands to help out with everything makes life seem so much easier.
It wasn't that I didn't want twins, it was that it never even crossed my mind! Then when we found out, we were absolutely shocked. I swore a lot. lol
Like Mel though, there are times where I look at parents who have one baby and I wonder what it's like. I mean, I can't imagine one baby. I am so so so happy with Silas and Spark, even though they wear me out a lot. I take them for drives just so that they're somewhere out of trouble and are safe in their car seats, and I don't have to worry all day. Oy.
Lurker from Pregnant with twins/multiple...
I've been getting that a lot this pregnancy. Every time I tell someone that I am having twins, I get "I always wanted Twins". I'll be completely honest, I always pictured myself with twins, only because they are EVERYWHERE on my Moms side (including her, she is an identical twins). I just figured I would have twins. So when I got pregnant for the second time, I knew automatically that it was twins. I honestly think I would have been a little disappointed if it wasn't twins. But I also know how hard this is going to be ( I already look at women in the stores with singleton babies and think how much easier they have it then I will). I keep making my husband take me and my daughter out for dinner because I know once they arrived we won't be eating out! But still, I know it will be worth it. And yes, I think I'm crazy for having wanted Twins!!!!
I absolutely wanted twins before finding out I was pregnant with them. After having newborn twins, I think I was insane lol!!! It was different for me because we did IVF so I knew the possibility of twins was very real. And I was ok with it. I never freaked out during the pregnancy and couldn't wait. I was so naive I freaked out the first night home because I don't think I truly grasped what it was going to be like. We had no other kids to compare it to. It was a rough first year for me.
People always say to me how they wanted twins and I just politely smile. People don't realize how challenging it is unless they've done it. Its hard splitting yourself in two when they are newborns and are both crying for your attention. I always felt very inadequate - like someone was not getting my full attention they deserved. Its twice the cost with diapers, formula, clothes, expensive double strollers, two cribs/carseats etc.
Looking back, if I had any control over it, I would have the same two kiddos - just a few years apart lol!!! I feel like I missed a lot just trying to trudge through the long days. But there is nothing more special than seeing the twin bond between the two of them - makes it all worth it
Sean and Emma 10/24/06
I'm from the pregnancy board, but I'lll chime in anyway!
There are no twins in my family so the thought never crossed my mind with these little accidents! We saw one beating heart beat on our nearly-6-week ultrasound and, when we shared the news of the pregnancy with my boyfriend's family at about 8 weeks, a few people were strangely insistent asking things like, "When will you know if it's twins?" I actually got mad at my boyfriend for responding, "It's too early at this point to tell." What?! No! We gave them a copy of the sonogram with ONE baby on it, twins don't just suddenly appear later on! So yeah, when one did just suddenly appear out of nowhere during my 12 weeks appointment, it was still a complete shock. The OB asked me to hold still but I was practically hyperventilating while nervously laughing and it didn't help when he said, "Hold still, I have to see if there are any more in there!" Of course, now I'm excited about it. I already feel a part of some secret cool kids club and I bet the kiddos will, too. I hear the negative comments occasionally and just assume people are jealous. I look around at people pregnant with just one or who are walking around with a single stroller and I just can't get how they'd want only one kid at a time. It already seems so boring and easy. I'm already finding that "regular" pregnant women just don't understand how I'm feeling, so I believe what I'm hearing that it'll only get worse with people not understanding what it's like to raise twins.
Nope. Who in their right mind wants more than one baby at a time?
It took me a minute to get excited about everything when a twin pregnancy was confirmed via ultrasound at 7 weeks.
Ava 6 years
James and Eric, born November 2009
I didn't "want" them per sey but I knew there was a chance as they run in my moms family. I may be the odd ball here but my twins were by far my easiest as newborns even though there were 2 of them.......they were VERY EASY BABIES.
Amanda~mommy to Kodey & Kaleb 4/29/99,Cameron 4/30/00,Cheyann 10/14/03, Cole 11/16/07, and Alli 09/30/11
It never occurred to me that it might happen the first time, and we didn't find out till I was 17 weeks and we were about to move to Alaska. Lots of surprise and excitement, for sure. I had NO idea what I was in for. I had had a singleton first, so I knew about nursing and caring for one. I'm still grateful I had such a successful nursing experience with my son, so I knew to really stick with it for the twins.
The last time I got pregnant, I had a lot of people say "I bet you'll have twins again". I sure didn't think it was possible, and I made sure to get an early ultrasound to prove everyone wrong. Ha. The tech was pretty amused when she told me there were two--I thought she was joking. I cried after that appointment.
The thing with me is that my experiences with twin infants were very different. Both were difficult in their own ways and I couldn't even really rely on my previous experiences to 'help' me out the second time.
So yeah, women who wished for twins usually have no idea what they're wishing for, huh?
DH's grandmother had "identical" twin sisters that looked nothing like each other. The doctor told them they were identical so that's what the fam says. (It was ~1930, I guess most GPs had no knowledge about such things.) I got told over and over how they "skip generations you know" so they were expecting someone in my husband's generation to have twins. Even though her sisters were the only twins ever in the family tree...
I didn't really think much about it other than as lovely as a woman as DH's grandmother is she has no idea what she is talking about. I thought it would be fun since I have a couple friends that are twins and such, but it's nothing I prayed over or would be disappointed with if I never had them, ya know?
Like a few others here we tried for years and were basically told though they really didn't have a reason, we were diagnosed infernal. Then BAM spontaneous multiples.
We were overwhelmed by the emotional roller-coaster going from not having kids to getting pregnant. When we found out we had twins ~14/15 weeks it took us a while to process it. Partly because the possibility of multiples was a side note in what the OB felt they may find on the ultrasound. At first we were relieved it wasn't a dangerous complication, then we were overwhelmed and... well everything but ecstatic for a while I guess.
Now, I wouldn't trade it for the world <3
I can say I look at families that have their kids spaced out and wonder about how much easier it would be in some aspects. At the least I envy their sleep!