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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by rachelrazzle View Post
    Mel, I am all for shared gifts, if they are shareable, like a kitchen, etc. The combo gift in this case was a toddler sized lap piano, and I don't think we need two of them, but giving one gift and seeing one play with a brand new toy while the other is just supposed to look on at 2 is just a tiny bit unreasonable. lol I just think were they not twins ppl would not expect them to share, and I think they already do so much more sharing than my singles did at this point, they are actually so much better at sharing than most other kids their age (at least ones I have seen). I'm sure it will be a frustration over the years, oh well. lol
    I do agree that sharing a smaller gift is not really fair. Plus, my girls had other gifts to occupy them, so they had no clue what the other was opening. They were too busy opening their own gifts. I do think it is a challenge to remind people that the twins are not just "the twins." They are individuals and they need to be treated just like a singleton when it comes to birthdays and holidays. You would not make a singleton share a gift with their brother who is 3 years older, so why make them share something little with their twin? I get it. I just do feel that at a younger age, they can share some gifts. I am not looking forward to the older ages when we have to get them both electronics because you know there will be no sharing of that.
    Melanie
    DS-Isaiah 1/2/04
    DDs- Keira and Sarafina 11/28/09


  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stompin View Post
    My boys are also two, and I actually requested that relatives only get one gift for the two of them. With each boy getting their own, and their birthday being in November, we get WAY too many toys close together. I feel like our house is over run, as it is.
    I never buy new toys but somehow our apartment is overrun with them, too. I'm for combo gifts, combing b-days and whatever other holiday, one gift total per kid per holiday, period... I've asked all our friends and relatives not to get them anything, or just books if they insist. My kids fight over things even when their grandmother gets them two identical toys, anyways. They want to collect both at once or they want the one their sibling is holding. One usually screams for a moment and then they settle it somehow. They still snatch from each other but nowadays they tend to give back the toy spontaneously if the other one cries for it. I hear them both saying "Please! Here you go please! Merci beaucoup!" and the screaming stops. I don't have to intervene much. If something is really causing trouble, like hitting, it goes to "sleep" in the closet for a few days or weeks.

    It's not the same as having to share with a twin who is just as immature as yourself but I have a lot of siblings and most Xmas gifts were combos for at least a couple of us, and frequently hand-me-downs, too, and I feel like it taught us to share in the long run and not to expect a mountain of new things every holiday. There were some fights but even as toddlers we worked it out, and the focus was on other aspects of the day (not to get into one of my preachy anti-consumerist rants--I just mean I remember a lot of wonderful things about my birthdays and Christmases that have nothing to do with getting presents). My sibs and I, especially my sister with twins the same age as mine, agreed not to do holiday/b-day gifts at all for each other's kids and my parents mostly give them books or tiny gifts. They all end up with more than enough stuff to play with and for their parents to deal with.
    Sarah


  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Laetissima View Post
    I never buy new toys but somehow our apartment is overrun with them, too. I'm for combo gifts, combing b-days and whatever other holiday, one gift total per kid per holiday, period...
    Can you explain this concept to my mom? She overwhelmed the kids with gifts this year. They got more from my parents than they got from us. I had to tell her to stop when she called me in early December with even more things she had bought. We gave the kids about 4 gifts each and little stocking stuffers. We cut back this year because we are overrun with toys. My DS never wants to get rid of toys, but we made him give away a ton right before Christmas. I told him he didn't have any more room for any new toys. That got him to pick some stuff to give away. HA!
    Melanie
    DS-Isaiah 1/2/04
    DDs- Keira and Sarafina 11/28/09


  4. #14
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    I'm all for some simplicity too. We do three gifts only, the Savior got three gifts at his birth, and since we are celebrating his birth (at our house), three gifts is enough. I think it drives my mom nuts. lol. She buys them more than we do, but lots of little stuff, because she wants them to have tons to open. My kids have 4 sets of grandparents and one more single grandparent (she was my stepmom for 15yrs, so we are still close, she's close with my dad and his new wife as well), so the other grandparents get them one gift each, usually something smaller. We have way too many toys, but it is often as hard for me to get rid of toys as it is for them. lol. They also get three gifts for their bday, and thats it. And often its maybe one larger/more expensive things and two much smaller things.

    And Sarah, so true about memories of bday and Christmas not always about the presents. My kids often forget what they got for their birthday not long after, but they remember the birthday prep and games played and what not.
    Rachel, momma to 4
    dd 9, ds 7, twin boys Dec 09
    I nursed my twins for 2years and 2 weeks! A little sad to be all done now.

  5. #15
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    I hate combo gifts. People only do it because they are twins and its annoying. If you are going to buy everyone gifts, they they should each get their own so they have something to open and enjoy. I have done big combo gifts in the past (i.e. a kitchen or something that is meant to be shared by many kids) but they always each get their own things to open, even if it is two of the same thing. Its not fair to expect them to share everything in life just because they are a twin. I've flat out told my MIL in the past if she doesn't want to buy two of something they really want, then please don't buy it at all. She would never buy one gift for the grandchildren that are just siblings, just "the twins!" Grrrrr!
    Jen
    http://seanandemma.blogspot.com/

    Sean and Emma 10/24/06


  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by melnzai View Post
    I do agree that sharing a smaller gift is not really fair. Plus, my girls had other gifts to occupy them, so they had no clue what the other was opening. They were too busy opening their own gifts. I do think it is a challenge to remind people that the twins are not just "the twins." They are individuals and they need to be treated just like a singleton when it comes to birthdays and holidays. You would not make a singleton share a gift with their brother who is 3 years older, so why make them share something little with their twin? I get it. I just do feel that at a younger age, they can share some gifts. I am not looking forward to the older ages when we have to get them both electronics because you know there will be no sharing of that.
    I was totally in agreement with you until I read this, haha! Even electronics can be shared. In our household, we have personal gifts and family gifts. Electronics, games, and movies fall within the family gifts and must be shared. We had only one gameboy or DS in the house while my older kids were growing up. I know there would've been bigger issues if one kid got a game that the other wanted to play but the owner refused to share. Didn't want that headache or expense of running out to get another one. They had to take turns and while they didn't like it sometimes, they did not argue because they would've done without then. There's plenty of other things they can do while waiting their turn. It should be no different just because they're multiples.

    As for the sharing of gifts, we've had an assortment of what people have done and so far, we've had no issues with the kids. We're big on sharing and rarely get two of the same thing. The combo gifts are usually bigger items and include all three kids since they'd all use it. Otherwise, some have given one package with items within that could easily be split. They're really big on giving dolls that look like them, so we have a ton of twin dolls at our house.
    Tracey

    DD: 7/27/08
    DD Twins: 8/4/09 @ 35 Wks - No NICU, woot!
    7/9/07

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