I knew our choice of name would cause a problem..

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3-o-me's picture
Joined: 12/28/10
Posts: 306
I knew our choice of name would cause a problem..

but I'm SUPER annoyed by it. My sil has a one year old she named Jack, family name on her dh side I think. My dh and I had picked Zachary Michael years ago. When I found out I was having a boy I tried to come up with another boys name not wanting the confusion of Jack and Zack but every time we talked about it we just kept saying we loved that name. I was told over and over it wouldn't be a problem since they live so far apart... and my hubby has many cousins with his same name, so no biggie.

Well, my MIL is visiting and she keeps calling him Jack! I'm SOOOO annoyed by this it's not even funny. Today she said she's going to start calling him "ack". *steam coming out of my ears*
Of course, I'm annoyed by other things too like "that's a cute outfit Addie, of course, yellow isn't your color at all, but..." really? really?? that's what you have to say to my daughter?? Ugh. I knew she was going to annoy me. I didn't really even want her to visit, but I'm trying to keep it all inside, however the name thing is going to KILL me! She justified it today by saying she calls her son in law the wrong name sometimes too, a boyfriend from over 10 years ago - from before I even MET my dh! Ummm, still not ok.

Sorry - had to vent somewhere private. Am I just being a *itch? Please tell me if I am.

Joined: 04/09/06
Posts: 1244

That is super annoying. :bigarmhug: Can you just have everyone call him Zachary or are you really set on calling him Zack? I figure Zachary is not all that similar to Jack, so maybe it would ease the name confusion.

My FIL hated the name we chose for our DS. He disliked that it was a Biblical name and didn't even want to use it. He said he was going to call Isaiah by his middle name, which is Patrick. We had to tell him to use DS's nickname, "Zay" instead of Isaiah. Thankfully, that eased the tension. It still irritates me that he could not respect our choice, kwim? He also wanted to call Sarafina, "Fee Fee." What? We are okay if people call her Sara. We try to call her Sarafina and not shorten it, but we find ourselves doing it anyway. What was wrong with calling her Sara? Luckily, he has never called her Fee Fee and I pray he never does.

Joined: 01/25/02
Posts: 2023

Um, I would be super annoyed! My dh's stepfather kept calling Abram, "Abrian" but that was just because he is ditzy and couldn't get the name right, not because he was being rude. My grandma did something similar to my mom, she was going to name me Rachel Suzanne, and my grandma did not like the name and said she would call me Suzy. So my mom named me Rachel Dawn instead, know what my grandma's nickname for me used to be? Suzy. I did not make the connection until I was older and my mom told me (it was her ex-MIL at that point). And then saying that yellow is not the baby's color? Seriously? I would be annoyed. Hugs and prayers that you can make it through until she leaves!

Joined: 06/04/07
Posts: 1368

I know it's passive/aggressive, but what I'm about to suggest gets the point across. DH's name is Arne. Many people pronounce it Arnie saying they can never remember to get it right. Well that's incorrect. The correct way sounds like Arnah. When people continue to say his name incorrectly, he twists their name to something different until they get it right. Donna = Donnie, John = Jane, you get the drift. Tell ya, they learn it bothers them fairly quick and respectfully say his name correctly. Course he has a huge sense of humor while he's saying their name wrong with a wink, so it doesn't come off as rude either.

And that outfit comment?!?!?? How rude!!!!! I wonder what she'd think if someone said that they loved her outfit and that it's too bad it wasn't in another color since she looks so washed out in it. Or ask if she's feeling well and when asked why to brush it off saying it must be the color of her outfit that doesn't suit her well. Course I'd never say that IRL, but it's fun to speculate reactions, haha!

3-o-me's picture
Joined: 12/28/10
Posts: 306

TY for mking me feel a little better. The Zachary idea is good, except yesterday she called him Zachariah...again, NOT his name. There have been a ton of little comments like the outfit one, and I've received criticism on clothing every day she has been here. So many that i'm convinced she is getting old (70 yo) and maybe not realizing what she is saying. For example she has said more than once that x is boring, x being whoever she is holding that is sleeping or just hanging out. Yesterday I caught her sleeping while feeding a LO. Pretty much I'm so over this visit! I'm not saying anything to DH b/c I dont want to cause strife, but he has noticed to. The other day he said she's impersonal about/with our kiddos. It makes me sad that he feels that way.

sigh, sad. My family and his step family more than make up for it but its still sad. One more week. TY again for your support.

Joined: 01/25/02
Posts: 2023

1 more week, you can do it! I'm glad dh has noticed, so yeah, bringing it up would probably not help. I can't believe she would call them boring, sleeping.mellow babes are so sweet and tender to hold. I'm glad there is lots of great family to make up for her! Smile

Joined: 05/20/07
Posts: 45

LOL...It is almost unbelievable to read how rude she sounds! My suggestion is tongue in cheek, but I had to tell you. My DHs name is Zak and his nickname (and he calls himself that when he is being funnny) is Z Money. Abbreviated like this when he signs something "Z $". Yep. Dorky. I think you should tell your MIL since she can't remember his name, she can just call him Z $! Smile Sorry you're dealing w/ that!

3-o-me's picture
Joined: 12/28/10
Posts: 306

Ami - that nickname is too funny! I've come to realize she is just so uncomfortable around baby babies she has no clue. She mentioned to DH she feels she's not helping much, gee, ya think? They had their two month shots on Friday, so were just fussy - not bad at all I didn't think - but more than once one was crying and she just did nothing. I'm using her time here as a test run to being on my own during the day next week pretty much.

The saddest part is DH and his struggle with it. He talked a little about it this weekend. His most telling statement was "I've noticed my mom thinks good enough is ok, and that's not acceptable anymore". Wow, it made me sad for him. Sad

I'm sure I'm being too hard on her, but my mom, my sister, and my sister-in-law (step really) visits were so different. They were willing to do anything and they just recognized when something needed to be done. Baby crying = pick him/her up or change diaper or do something. Down time = chores and maybe let mom get a nap. Her visit she is spending so much time upstairs in her room and I'm not sure why. These are her grandbabies and they will only be this small for so long. Heck, they are already soooo big and it's only been two months that they have been home. But, I'm coming to realize you can want a person to be a certain way all you want - doesn't make them so.

Joined: 01/25/02
Posts: 2023

Hugs to you and your dh. I'm glad you have had some good help.