more and more sleep issues

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more and more sleep issues

Hey ladies, it is 2 AM and I am up watching the goodnight show on sprout with my girls. I am such a bad mommy. The last 3 nights the girls have been waking my in the middle of the night. I do my best to get them the paci and put them back down immediately. But it doesn't seem to be working. DH works till midnight, and although he gets up to help - I try to send him back to bed so he can at least get a few hours of sleep. BUt that leaves me dealing with two wide awake babies who won't go back down - and start screaming if I leave them in their cribs. Then, it is just crazy, because neither one can fall back asleep because the other is keeping them awake.

And this is where I start major major bad habits. I don't know what else to do besides get them up and let them play till they are exausted. I keep it dark, turn on a slow TV show or music and let them play till I put them down.

While contemplating what has changed this week:

I have been feeding them rice cereal about an hour before bedtime. I don't think I am going to do that anymore. Maybe it is cause digestive issues????

Teething has been runing rampant. Olivia had a tooth break through today.

Can't think of anything else. Has anyone been though this and lived? LOL Am I teaching my girls habits that are irreversible? What shoudl I do, suggestions please!!!!

Thanks for your help ladies... I love this board!!

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I know Sean was like that when he was teething. The only thing that worked was bringing out into the living room and holding him in the recliner until he fell back asleep. Sometimes I would have to sleep with him on the couch because everytime I would lay him down, asleep or not, he would scream. As soon as his 3 teeth :shock: broke thru at once, he was fine.

I seriously am no expert at all, but maybe they are used to playing now at night? My babies are definitely creatures of habit and learn quickly how to get me to jump! I know you do whatever you can when you are desperate for sleep Biggrin and it's really hard to listen to them cry. I know I have a really hard time now trying to get Sean to nap because he would rather be playing. So I just put a few toys in his crib and he plays until he falls asleep. Or if it's possible, maybe put them in separate rooms at night to try to cut down on waking each other up?

I jut want to tell you that you are not a bad Mommy. I think you are doing a great job and can't even imagine the exhaustion you're feeling. I wish I had some useful advice or tips, but my babies seem to have their Daddy's sleeping genes. I think I am up more than them at night!

I hope someone has some better insight and things get better for you guys!

:bigarmhug:

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that would have been 1 my time, and guess what...I WAS FREAKIN' UP TOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

My girls are sick though, so I kinda know what their deal was. I still feel sorry for you. Poor Mommy. I don't want to blame it all on teething, but it does effect alot. When the girls are like that, I try to give them their paci back and add orajel at the same time. I know you don't really want them to CIO, but are you almost to that point? Just ship them to me for a week! They'll be like"that Kelly lady is mean mom, we want to come home to you! We promise we'll sleep better!!!"

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My Cassie gets like this when she is teething (which seems to be always...uggh). She wants to be wide awake at ridiculous hours. I found there is NOTHING I could do with her aside from letting her cry. I'd rock her, sit with her next to the crib without getting her out, nurse her numerous times, take her to my bed...nothing worked! I ended up having to let her cry several times. And this kid cries and cries and cries. I'd go in periodically, but it just made her madder. I wanted to take her out and let her play, but never did do it, for fear of getting her in the habit. I really don't know what you are "supposed" to do, but I do know that you will live through it (just the last three nights she has actually slept through the night...for the first time ever).

I actually think some of the waking was attributed to being hungry...it seems that baby food just wasn't cutting it for her, and caused her to wake up a lot. Maybe you could try more finger foods/solids for them, but a little earlier than you're currently giving them the rice cereal? I know that has helped with Cassie (I truly have no idea how I survived it w/ the twins...I don't remember! That's the good thing about sleep deprivation...when you're out of it, you barely remember what it was like).

Good luck to you! It WILL get better...just may take a little while!

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We are still having this same problem when teething rears its ugly head. They will not sleep. However, no matter what soothing methods we employ to get them through the night, they go right back to their regular routine as soon as the teething pain is over. I know it is draining for you, but I wouldn't worry about long term effects.

We always watch the Cosby show at night. We were up with both Ian and Maddie two nights ago. The Cosby show was still showing at its regular 3AM timeslot!

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Man, those girls give you more sleep troubles.......
You are not a bad mommy, you are a tired mommy!

We were doing this for about 2 months. Every night at around 3 am, they would wake up, eat, and then want to play or cry until about five. I don't blame it on teething because Abby doesn't have any teeth :cry:
When they would get up, I wouldn't take them out because I didn't want to get them revved up to play or used to playing in the night (that and I was WAY to tired to even contemplate playing). I would just sit in their room and turn on their whinnie the pooh lights. They would cry, but I was sitting there talking/singing/touching them so I didn't feel so bad. Sometimes I would fall asleep in the glider, they would fall asleep too :bwush:
Now, I know that by saying this, I'm going to jinx myself, but I'm doing this for you so I hope you appreciate this....
For about 2-3 weeks, they have just been getting up to eat, then going back to sleep right away :cloud9: .What changed? I don't know exactly but there were a lot of things.
1. we weaned completely (this isn't why we weaned, they just weaned themselves)
2. we started with the ocean sounds cd, it's on pretty loud. Okay, really loud
3. We started keeping them up later. A short nap around 4 or 5 then bed at 7 or 8 (I think this may be the main reason, because if they go to bed at 6 like before, they are up and ready to play at 3 again)

I know there were other things but I can't remember them now. If I do, I'll add them
Hang in there! I hope they let you sleep soon!

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Hugs hugs!

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ok, my kids were perfect sleeping angels until a few months before they turned 2. Then my peaceful well-rested world crashed and burned. Everyone talks about the sleeping trouble newborns have. No one tells you that sleep issues will pop up over and over again throughout childhood.

The kids went through a series of colds (one on top of the next) for about 6 weeks. They weren't sleeping well and I was often going into their room in the middle of the night. Fine, they were sick, I had no problem doing this. I would get them calmed down, give meds if needed, they would go right back to sleep. After the colds were finally gone, they were still waking up and crying for me. I didn't know how I was supposed to handle it, so I kept going in their room. From there, it went from bad to worse. (little background - we did CIO when they were about 7-8 months old which worked beautifully and never had another issue until this) We tried on and off to do CIO, but it wasn't working. Our problem was not being consistant - hindsight is always lovely. It got to the point that Tyler would scream and cry if he couldn't see me and Erin would cry if she could see me. I ended up sleeping in the hallway outside their door (Ty could see me, Erin couldn't). We tried everything we could think of to get them to sleep. We resorted to driving them around in the middle of the night. First, Tyler was ok with me just being outside the door. Then he would scream if I wasn't sitting up. It just kept getting worse and worse. I ended up going about a month on 1.5 hours of sleep a night. Kid weren't napping during the day, refusing to eat almost everything except cheerios and crackers. I reached my breaking point a week before the kids turned 2 and ended up sobbing in the ped's office. I seriously was thinking about who I could give the kids to because I just couldn't do it anymore. She recommended that we give them benedryl at bedtime to get them used to that sleepy feeling. She also told me to stay in their room until they fell asleep at night (by this time Erin also wanted me in their room), but after they were asleep, I was not to go into their room again until morning. If we heard a cry that was something really wrong, dh was supposed to go in. Otherwise, it was cio. It worked fairly quickly for them to start sleeping through the night again. It did take months before I could stop sitting in their room while they initially fell asleep, but it was something I was willing to do. Since then, there have been other sleep problems that have popped up, but I nip them in the bud immediately. I have occasionally had to go back to sitting outside their rooms while they fall asleep (they are now in separate rooms). Heck, its good reading time. LOL

My point in that long rambling story is not to scare you. Blum 3 First, I want you to know that you are not alone. Sleep issues are very common. I didn't know this and I think that's why it took us so long to nip it - it was so unexpected. Secondly, don't wait for it to get worse. Nip it as quickly as you can. If needed, call your ped to ask for suggestions. Otherwise, pick what has worked in the past to get your kids to sleep and stick with it. btw, I'm not suggesting that what worked for us is a good solution for everyone. Its just what we had to do. Sleep is so so so important.

((((HUGS)))))

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man I don't know.. I was up too.. that's funny.. I'm waiting for it to pass like all the other phases have too. I don't know what else to do though because if I don't let her get up she screams and wakes up the whole house.

Anyway you've gotten lots of advice so good luck deciding what to do. You do have my utmost sympathy though

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My girlies were STTN at 4mo (I'll duck & hide in a min) but around 9mo they started getting up a lot. My rule on waking was that if you cry I give you a paci, if you're crying again within 1/2hr I'll give you a bottle. Well about 9mo the girls all started getting up for bottles 1st at midnight (the time daddy used to get home from work) & then again at 4am (the time daddy was currently getting up for work). Bottles were sometimes taken but mostly rejected & 99% of the time it was all 3 at once- since I don't have that many hands I would put them in their swings to eat their bottles. I would lay on the couch in complete darkness with the swings going, if someone cried in the swing I'd lay with them on the couch with my eyes closed. If they tried to babble/play with me I would lay them back in their cribs or put them back in the swing. Once they fell asleep in the swing I'd wait 5min then move them to their crib. Of course at that point in time the only way to get the girlies to sleep was to put them in their swings until they passed out. I didn't attempt any CIO type techniques until 12mo & swings worked faster than cuddling. I also would bring a crying baby into our bed if it was just one of them, G spent the last few hours of many nights sleeping with me.

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:bigarmhug:

My only suggestion is to put them to bed earlier. Gracie used to wake up consistently at 2am and would only go back to sleep in bed with me. CIO didn't work (because she sometimes would go back to sleep, sometimes she'd continue to scream) so I tried putting her to bed earlier and it worked like a charm.

Now, even when they are teething or not feeling well, they only will wake for a few minutes and will go right back to sleep once they have a paci back in their mouths.

ETA: I also adjust bed time based on how they've napped during the day. If they've napped well, they generally go to bed between 6-6:30pm unless they show signs of being tired sooner. If they've had a crappy nap day, bedtime is usually around 5:30pm.

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I wanted to add something funny about the goodnight show on sprout. Maddie is terrified of that stuffed star! She goes into hysterics if she sees it.

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"moonqueen" wrote:

I wanted to add something funny about the goodnight show on sprout. Maddie is terrified of that stuffed star! She goes into hysterics if she sees it.

you know, I don't blame her. I always look at it and think it is a bit freaky. Is there a person in there? If so, where is the rest of their body hiding? Is it electronic? I can't figure it out - which makes it a bit scary!!!

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My mom usually helps out the nights I work and she hates when I put that show on! She doesn't like the lady and her stupid plaid pants EVERY NIGHT! She never wears anything different. She and my DH change it as soon as I leave for work because they think its freaky too. But Sean and Emma love it!

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Laura - I remember that time for you guys! Not fun at all!
My girls used to wake up 3 times per night for a bottle till about 5 1/2 months. They weaned down to sleeping through the night and waking at 5am for a drink than back to sleep. This is what I did with all 3 of my kids and it has worked.

In the middle of the night when they woke, we never talked to them, the room was kept dark. If they woke up for a bottle or boobie - they got it, got changed and back to their crib. After they started STTN I only gave them a soother and left again. If they cried, I picked them up to see if they had a burp and right back down. Even now, if they wake up at night - we go in with no lights on or talking to tuck them back in or take them to pee.

I dont know why...but they will not get out of their beds in the middle of the night. Up until 6 months ago, they wouldn't even get out of their beds in the morning until I opened their door.
Someties, when they have a super long nap it will take them hours to fall asleep. So if I see they are real hyper I'll go in and sit between the two beds in the dark. Once I am in there, they dont say a word to each other anymore.
I know that I sound mean..but they learnt the rules and I wasn't mean about it. I didn't let them cry much. I'd always go in pretty much as soon as I heard them, to see if they had a burp, missing paci or blanket.

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We've been having sleep issues lately too...at first I thought it was being at my mom's house. Abigail was waking about three hours earlier than she had been but Bethany was sleeping just fine. Then they both woke up twice in the night. Then they both slept 'normally'. Then last night (we're at my in-laws for a few nights) they were both up between 3:15-3:45 and again between 6:15-6:45. YUCK! I'm tired!

I'm starting to wonder about my habit of nursing while laying down (which is also killing my back and neck), since they will both continue to nurse as long as I have them beside me. I got up around 9:45 and Abigail was still nursing, three hours later! Methinks that once we get home I will have to go back to sitting up for the early morning feedings and putting them back down much sooner.

I will say that the two nights Abigail woke up wayyyyy too early (like three hours after being laid down) I was able to get her to take her paci (plug Wink ) and she went back to sleep until her normal time. Bethany doesn't take a pacifier, though. Abigail has also taken to sleeping with a blanket or burp cloth over her face when she sleeps on her back. Interesting. Smile

Peace,
Julie

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I'm have to agree with Kelly (moonqueen), no matter what method we've used during these phases, they always go back to their normal routine in a week or two. Sometimes the problem is teething, sometimes we can't find a reason, but I've been up for several 3-4 hour stretches in the wee hours, sitting in the living room, and yes, even letting them watch something on t.v. until they get tired enough to sleep again. These stages are going to happen whether you let them CIO or you comfort them, or whatever, I'm a big fan of doing whatever it takes to get through the stage and get back to half-way decent sleeping. At almost 2 years old, we are frequently saying, yes, they sleep through the night, just rarely the SAME night. Good luck, Tina. I hope this phase passes quickly.

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I understand the difficulties of having twins that someone with twins does not understand. Especially if they sleep in the same room. Emily is a great sleeper and just starts to get cranky around 5:30 and she's in bed around 6/ 6:30 for the night. She takes only little cat naps throughout the day. Evan on the other hand takes 2 long naps during the day so he's up until 7:30/8pm. He hates going to bed and always always needs a bottle when he wakes up. It took me a long long time to realize that he didn't want to go to sleep at 6:30 with his sister. It would take me hours trying to deal with his crying in bed. Once I realized he went to bed later I dealt with that. Also he crys/whines himself to sleep everynight so I put a playpen in my room and let him whine and cry in there without waking his sister up. Then he wakes up for a bottle or I give him another around 11pm and put him into the crib as he is pretty sleepy by then and won't wake her up. Then he sleeps until 3 am and I then wake his sister up at the same time and feed them both. Most of the times they are wide awake in the nursery at 3am so I put on the tv, I've even read them books and it seems to be when they are most talkative so I let them have their 30 mins of playtime. I put them down and they seem to fall back asleep after talking up a storm with each other. I just find it is hard to coordinate feeds with twins as they are completely different.

I think after writing all that I am trying to say once I REALIZE.....that some things won't change and that they are DIFFERENT I adjust my schedule and it makes things less frustrating..just takes me a long long time and many tired nights to realize what I need to change as I know they are who they are.....hmmmm does that even make sense?

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Well, I just wanted to update everyone who I haven't told this too already. I didn't want to jinx myself! the girls are FINALLY STTN. After I wrote the initial post, and read everyone's replies--I was terrified! LOL. The girls were getting worse and worse, I was only getting abut 4 hours of sleep per night. DH and I were fighting all the time because we were so sleep deprived. So - I decided to CIO. The first two nights broke my heart. They cried for an hour and half (and so did mommy) DH and I went in at 5 minutes and then 10 minute intervals. The third night the girls only cried for 30 minutes. Now, about 4 weeks later (and a vacation later) they usually fall asleep within 15 minutes (many times less than 5 minutes) of getting into the crib. They still cry, it usually starts off as throwing a fit because they don't want me to leave them in the crib, as soon as I leave the room they begin to wind down. I have discovered that if I go back into their room, the crying time starts over - so now I use my monitors to check them regularly, and only go back in if I think their cry changes to a "hurt" cry.

Thanks everyone for your help and stories. Let me tell you - life is much better w/ a bit of sleep!

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I know people don't agree with CIO, but I have to tell you it was a lifesaver around here, too! My babes sleep like champs and they are still happy, well-adjusted, well loved little things!

Yay for sleep!!!!! When they started STTN our relationship changed - we stopped bickering so much and everyone was happier!

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Here's what I did...at 4.5 months...they were driving me nuts...I would swaddle them, they would come unswaddled , wake up...like 4 times a night! So, I put them on their stomachs (they could both hold their heads up no problem) And voila! Slept thru the night...The whole night! Now that one of them rolls over, I have to go in once or twice a night for paci retrieval, but that takes one second. Anyways, I know what they say about putting them on their stomachs, but these babies were born big & healthy & strong, and they could hold their heads up as I said. Anyways...just what worked for me.

As a postscript, we had started putting them on stomachs for daytime naps since they were about 2 months old, and right near us. They seemed to like it better and slept better.

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Sarah is rolling over onto her tummy to sleep! Is that safe? Should I wake her and flip her over? She's happy there. What to do?

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I was told by my ped that once they roll over on their own, it is safe to leave them there. Otherwise you would have to watch them all night and flip them every time they rolled over - which would keep you and her up all night! Sean was always a stomach sleeper. It was the only way I could get him to STTN!!!

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I have 19.5 month twin boys. J sleeps like a charm. G will sleep through the night maybe twice a week. J has been sleeping through the night since about six months with very little issues. I have tried sleep training G several times. He does pretty well for about two weeks and then it's back to square one.

They are routinely put to bed in their cribs at 8pm, and they will talk to each other until they fall asleep. G will wake up anywhere from one hour to four hours later. I will typically get him from his crib bring him into bed with us, so that he doesn't wake up J. DH will take him back to his crib where he will more often than not stay asleep for the rest of the night.

It's definitely not a hunger issue at this point. For G it's a comfort issue as he was breastfed the longest and he loves to cuddle whenever possible.

I'm not too sure what else to do. It makes for an uncomfortable sleep for us, but at least it's some sleep.

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Just a piece of advice we learned from the doctors and nurses here:

If your baby is crying so much that you cannot console them, they are VERY very likely in pain, and suffering and that is the reason they want comfort. Infant Tylenol and Advil Pediatric Drops can be found at most drug stores and have seen us through many a crying baby! Please do not ignore your baby and let them cry.