one simple evolutionary question.

10 posts / 0 new
Last post
hopin2bpreggermeggers's picture
Joined: 02/22/10
Posts: 567
one simple evolutionary question.

Why can't fathers function at night???

I had to basically throw a bottle at DH to wake him when both girls got hungry at the same time. He picked up T, fed her literally 5 seconds, and fell back asleep... I ended up feeding both girls, then changing diapers, and putting them back down by myself!!! GRRR.....

I have to train him more than I do the girls!

Joined: 04/24/11
Posts: 1253

lol, this made me laugh! I ask myself this every night, especially when they were first born. I gave up asking for help(when I could get him to open an eye) because I always got the "what do you want me to do, you have the boobs". I bought ready made formula for DH to use to give me a hand...that was 2 weeks ago, still hasn't been opened!

Joined: 04/10/11
Posts: 1703

Yeah...

Joined: 04/09/06
Posts: 1244

Ha! So true! I don't really know either. I will say that my DH got better with the twins. I think it was more that I did not really let him get away with sleeping through their fussing, so his brain learned to respond. Lol He slept through our DS a lot. I remember screaming at him, while in the same room, and he just snored away.

My DH would never do it, but I highly recommend a schedule for who is responsible for the twins. You take shifts and let the other person rest or sleep. Then, that person is relieved. That way, you can alleviate any frustration about who is not taking responsibility of the twins. I am not sure why my DH was so against it because he then had to endure my wrath when I felt like he was slacking. Stupid boys. Lol

Joined: 01/25/02
Posts: 2023

So true! Its crazy! I agree with Mel, my dh got better, because I would holler at him (sometimes from the other room) if he was still sleeping. I needed his help. Now sometimes he wakes up to their screams before I do. Smile But not often. lol

isuche02's picture
Joined: 10/08/08
Posts: 1122

I hear you.

It is funny because my DH has gotten worse. With DD we split everything. He would do one night and then I would do the next.

With the twins he refuses to do anything but I think the root of it is something deeper. He feels he did not want more kids and that I should have to pay for thinking I might want one more (even though we got two and I wasn't 100% sure I wanted one more). He often makes little comments about you got what you asked for and things like that even though they are not relavent. Needless to say this has been a major issue within our relationship and has impacted us in several ways. He went through a major depression when he found out we were having twins. It has been a very rough road for us.

hopin2bpreggermeggers's picture
Joined: 02/22/10
Posts: 567

"isuche02" wrote:

I hear you.

It is funny because my DH has gotten worse. With DD we split everything. He would do one night and then I would do the next.

With the twins he refuses to do anything but I think the root of it is something deeper. He feels he did not want more kids and that I should have to pay for thinking I might want one more (even though we got two and I wasn't 100% sure I wanted one more). He often makes little comments about you got what you asked for and things like that even though they are not relavent. Needless to say this has been a major issue within our relationship and has impacted us in several ways. He went through a major depression when he found out we were having twins. It has been a very rough road for us.

You'd think he'd be thrilled to have two sons. Isn't that what most guys want?

isuche02's picture
Joined: 10/08/08
Posts: 1122

He was definitely wanting a boy after 3 girls. He just got two.

The funny part is that he has no idea how to treat the boys. I think he is having a hard time bonding with the boys. It is improving but he thinks he has to be rough with them so they won't be weak but they are just babies.

Joined: 04/24/11
Posts: 1253

"isuche02" wrote:

He was definitely wanting a boy after 3 girls. He just got two.

The funny part is that he has no idea how to treat the boys. I think he is having a hard time bonding with the boys. It is improving but he thinks he has to be rough with them so they won't be weak but they are just babies.

I think thats a man thing. DH is like that with Brad, wrestling with an 8 month old seems a little early for me (although Brad laughs hysterically whenever he does it, and I think "wrestling" is a bit of an exaggeration but I think you KWIM!). I hope it improves, finding out you are having twins after not being sure you want more is a hard blow, but you still should not be left to manage on your own. Hope it turns around for you, its not fair to be working full time and looking after all 3 babes by yourself.

Joined: 04/09/06
Posts: 1244

"krista83" wrote:

I think thats a man thing. DH is like that with Brad, wrestling with an 8 month old seems a little early for me (although Brad laughs hysterically whenever he does it, and I think "wrestling" is a bit of an exaggeration but I think you KWIM!). I hope it improves, finding out you are having twins after not being sure you want more is a hard blow, but you still should not be left to manage on your own. Hope it turns around for you, its not fair to be working full time and looking after all 3 babes by yourself.

I agree with this as well. It really isn't fair to you at all. I know adjusting to twins is very hard and it sure would be a blow. Maybe he needs to consider going to see a counselor and working through his feelings? :bigarmhug:

As far as wrestling goes, I don't think my DH has ever wrestled with Isaiah. I don't think it is really his nature. My FIL attempted to tickle Sarafina and then turn her upside down. Wrong child to do that with!! She sobbed and screamed. He scared her so much. She was telling my mom how scared she was. She was not sure she liked her grandpa after that encounter. I was not happy to hear about it either. GRRR!