Terrible three

5 posts / 0 new
Last post
Offline
Last seen: 2 years 9 months ago
Joined: 04/09/06
Posts: 1244
Terrible three

I feel like I am not a very good mother of twins. My girls are at such a hard age. I love this stage because they are so aware of things, and they love to help (without complaining like they do when they are 8 or older) with housework, etc. However, it is so hard managing two three yos who seem to always be upset about something. The screaming, yelling, crying, and general tantrums just wear on me. Yesterday, Sarafina refused to come in the house for some reason. She would run to the door, then run away, then run back. The windchill was below zero. I had to physically go pick her up. Then, Keira decided she did not want to sit in the middle carseat this morning. And...she threw herself on the floor of the car (again cold temps) and I had to crawl in and pick her up and put her in the seat. All the while, she is screaming at the top of her lungs. Then, she threw her mittens on the floor, and cried because she wanted them back. Good golly. I lose my temper with them so much more than with Isaiah. No amount of deep breathing and counting helps sometimes. They just keep going at it, and driving me up the wall. It makes me feel so guilty.

Overall, the girls are so great. They are super funny, and I love them to pieces. Those challenging times just really taint it all, you know? And...let's not even talk about potty training. The girls need to be trained. They know what to do. I just cannot get them to realize that underwear is better than diapers. I mean, how do you make that rewarding!!!??? Pee and keep playing, or put down your blocks and run to the potty? They are smart enough to know that the potty and underwear are more work. Good grief. Keira was even dry all night last night. That is a first. She did go on the potty this morning, but that is all we get. Morning and before bed, and that is only sometimes. I cannot even get it consistent. I am failing them on some level. That is how I feel. If I could give them more time, maybe we wouldn't have the tantrums so much....maybe they would be potty trained. Sad Boo for feeling this way!

daniellec.parker's picture
Offline
Last seen: 2 years 6 months ago
Joined: 09/06/09
Posts: 895

I still have a year to go before I'm at that point. A&A have started the terrible twos, and I've heard 3's are worse. I too feel that some things might be better/easier if I was able to spend more time with them. Tantrums are going to happen no matter what. They are still learning how to communicate on certain levels, and they don't yet understand why things have to be a certain way (ie why they can't play outside when it's so cold.. or for A&A currently that they can't watch Super Why AND Sesame Street at the same time. That was a battle on Sunday. Smile lol) It's all part of the learning process. Frustrating and stressful for Mommy, yes. But for them as well. Try not to feel so bad. It's just a phase. You do the best you can, and you are a wonderful mom! I know it's hard to think about it during the middle of a tantrum, but at the end of the day try thinking about all of the good things to help drown out the "taint". Focus on the positive and the rest won't seem so bad in the end. ((hugs)) to you momma!

Offline
Last seen: 2 years 9 months ago
Joined: 04/09/06
Posts: 1244

Yeah Danielle...I know deep down that I am not failing the girls. And I know it is mostly developmental. Sigh! Sad It is just so hard because I love this age so much. I love the innocence and their loving nature. I just wish it could all be that way and we didn't have to have the hard stuff.

Flourish's picture
Offline
Last seen: 3 years 4 months ago
Joined: 03/08/10
Posts: 154

We are the same way with Spark. They have their own little potty beside the big one, and she wants to go to it and says "pee" but she just sits and does nothing. I'd say a good 80% of the time she's dry when she wakes up, and I've managed to catch her peeing sometimes and rush her to the potty, but she just can't make that connection. And she LOVES washing her hands (read: playing with running water lol ) so sometimes I think she just sits on the potty so that she can wash her hands lol

Silas is far from the potty yet, though that's not really my concern with him!

I also lose my temper with them a lot, as (especially Spark) does the "No (thing)!!" and throws it on the ground, but then immediately picks it up. (It's better when it's THEIR idea to have it, I think.) Or she just wants things a specific way and if it's not done that way she freaks out completely, even if it's the right things, but done in the wrong order. Like, getting her book and duck for bed or something. If she wants the duck first but I get her the book first, she'll freak out and throw the book until she had the duck etc.... It's hard that she can't talk very well either to get her point across.

I'm hoping speech therapy for both of them will help! And cutting TV out completely has helped too (if you can believe that it was worse!)

Flourish's picture
Offline
Last seen: 3 years 4 months ago
Joined: 03/08/10
Posts: 154

Whoops, double post!