funeral etiquette?

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Joined: 10/26/01
Posts: 3470
funeral etiquette?

All ...

A very close friend of mine lost her husband in a motorcycle accident this last week. The memorial service is this Friday and I am wondering if I should take pictures?

The last funeral I attended was my grandmother's and I did take pictures. In fact, I wasn't the only one. But I just don't know about this one. It'll be a much more formal affair than my grandmother's funeral.

Any advice? What would you do?

TIA,
GiGi

Amy_&_Eva's picture
Joined: 08/23/07
Posts: 2378

I personally would not unless the immediate family asked me to.

connorsmum's picture
Joined: 11/29/02
Posts: 1160

I would ask the family 1st

Joined: 07/30/06
Posts: 835

I probably wouldn't, but you could ask the family first.

Ladybugsteph's picture
Joined: 06/21/06
Posts: 2977

I'm with the others. I probably wouldn't unless the family asked, or you asked them. But, honestly, I wouldn't put them on the spot by asking them on the phone/in person. I'd send out an email asking, so they have time to think about their answer.

TracyF's picture
Joined: 08/14/06
Posts: 2416

I would've liked to have taken photos at my grandparents' funerals, but just felt funny about it. Seems like not many people do take photos at funerals. So that being the case, yes, I would ask the family too.

Joined: 10/26/01
Posts: 3470

I'm going by to check on my friend today. I'll ask.

Thanks, guys. I truly appreciate it.

GiGi

connorsmum's picture
Joined: 11/29/02
Posts: 1160

This has actually got me thinking. As a family we are starting to brace ourselves as we believe that my Nan (mum's mum) is nearing the end of her life (she actually told my Grandad this week that she will be leaving him soon) and I am now wondering if I could bring myself to take photos at the funeral. I might talk it over with Mum & Grandad. I don't think I have ever seen funeral photography from the UK, but then it is not something I have thought of looking up.

Joined: 10/26/01
Posts: 3470

Kerry ... as I mentioned, I took photos at my grandmother's funeral and I am SO GLAD that I did. My whole family cherishes these photos now. Funerals are often family reunions and that is a big portion of what I focused on when taking my pictures that day.

With that said, my grandma's funeral was very informal. I don't know that I would have been so keen if it was a more formal affair (which is also why I am so hesitant right now).

Whatever you decide, do try to take some reminders of the day - if not photos, programs, etc.

Best,
GiGi

cazzoom's picture
Joined: 06/22/02
Posts: 1315

I am so sorry to hear about your friend. condolences to you and your friends family.

We did this at my Nana's funeral on new years eve. It was a long time since all the family had been together.

I would ask first.

Joined: 01/18/06
Posts: 402

When my aunt passed away, the church held a reception for family and friends afterward. We took family pictures, and I'm very glad we did because they're the only ones that show all of my cousins and me together. My mom's funeral was smaller, but we took pictures outside my cousin's house, which I'm glad to have. It's sad, but for many families, mine included, funerals are the only time when everybody reunites.

Muddee's picture
Joined: 03/13/08
Posts: 2119

Sorry to hear about your friend. At DH's step-fathers funeral a woman brought a camera and was taking pictures (without permission), I found it incredibly distasteful. I personally don't like the idea.

If the family does a gathering after the funeral to talk and remember I think this would be a good time to do photos. Just make sure you ask and OK it with the family.

CJWilkes's picture
Joined: 01/04/09
Posts: 880

Someone took pictures at my dad and brother's funeral. I really have no idea who or when or how, but I am grateful for the images that we got. No one asked that I am aware of. Not uncommon really...