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  1. #11
    Posting Addict kmm123's Avatar
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    Jen that was a great description - I'll always wonder what that next baby would have been like but it doesn't mean I really realistically want to bring it in to the world. Knowing you'd love it like you love your current children is kind of hard I think b/c I WANT to love more.....but for us wanting to love more and being able to give them all the things I want to be able to give them is where the balance lies.

    That all being said I do love lurking on the large families board and Asha is on my current BB with baby #10 and I look at some of those families and imagine that with in them all those extras probably don't matter a bit. But I still don't think I'm cut out for it` even if I do love to read about them and wonder
    Katie

    Evan 12/10/09 9lbs 5 and 1/4 oz 21.5"
    Rory 12/2/11 10lbs 12oz and 23"
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

  2. #12
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    Well our plan was always 4 about 2-3 years apart. Well so far nothing we've done has fit very well into our 'plan'. We are still struggling with a decision about #5 (or 4) however you want to look at it. Finances are a huge issue and I too would someday like to sleep through the night again!
    ~Karen~
    Mason Reid 7/4/06 @ 8lbs 2oz 19 1/2 in
    Savannah Jean 9/29/07 @ 8lbs 14 1/2oz 19 in
    Aiden James 8/4/09 @ 10lbs 4 1/2 oz 21 1/2 in
    Evan Alexander 11/23/10 @ 8lbs 7 oz 20 1/2 in

  3. #13
    Posting Addict pico83's Avatar
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    Thanks. All your perspectives help me a little.

    I have three wonderful, healthy, easy boys. I feel like I'm doing fine handling them most of the time. I love staying home with them and feel no rush to get back to a career. I love every age they've passed through. I get pregnant easily, seem to have easy/uncomplicated pregnancies, do fine giving birth vaginally, and BF like a champ. I feel like I found my calling in being a mom. I get really jealous when I see someone with a large family. When DH says he might be done I have to fight tears. It makes me so sad to even consider that I might never get to go through pregnancy and birth and all the newborn stuff again. I feel like there's plenty of room in our family for more. DH's job should be able to provide for more. College would be... interesting... but isn't it always? We should be better equipped to handle it financially than most people.

    But, DH feels overwhelmed by our three and seems to worry a lot about paying for college. I guess my best bet is to wait and hope he'll come around. Our siblings haven't even started having kids, so it's going to be interesting to see what that does to us. Luckily we're young (27) and have time. I just wish I knew he'd come around again.
    big boy 12.8.07 @ 39+2 7lbs 8oz, 20.5" BFed for 13 months
    middle boy 8.12.09 @ 39+4 7lbs 9oz, 21" BFed for 13.5 months
    little boy 4.26.11 @ 38+4 6lbs 14oz, 19.5" BFed until 26mo and again 30-37mo
    baby boy 10.25.13 @ 41+0 8lbs 15oz, 21.5"
    8.16.12 & 12.16.12

    TTA, but would welcome a surprise


  4. #14
    Posting Addict kmm123's Avatar
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    FWIW Virginia I remember him feeling the same way and you having many of the same fears when Alex was around this age. Maybe he just needs to get past the really needy infant stage and feel more secure. Either way it sounds like you're taking the best approach, giving him time and space before pushing the discussion. I bet he'll come around.
    Katie

    Evan 12/10/09 9lbs 5 and 1/4 oz 21.5"
    Rory 12/2/11 10lbs 12oz and 23"
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

  5. #15
    Posting Addict pico83's Avatar
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    Thanks for reminding me, Katie.
    big boy 12.8.07 @ 39+2 7lbs 8oz, 20.5" BFed for 13 months
    middle boy 8.12.09 @ 39+4 7lbs 9oz, 21" BFed for 13.5 months
    little boy 4.26.11 @ 38+4 6lbs 14oz, 19.5" BFed until 26mo and again 30-37mo
    baby boy 10.25.13 @ 41+0 8lbs 15oz, 21.5"
    8.16.12 & 12.16.12

    TTA, but would welcome a surprise


  6. #16
    Posting Addict Smashcc's Avatar
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    When I was a little girl, all I ever wanted was 2 kids. One boy and one girl. Then, at some point at the end of high school, beginning of college, I decided kids weren't for me. I like being around other people's kids, but I didn't feel fit to take care of any on my own. Then my husband and I started dating and I really got to know his family. That changed my mind after a few years. I decided that I would really like to have 4 kids (2 boys, 2 girls...if only we could make it that simple, right?) DH doesn't want more than 3 and would be happy with 2. He comes from a large family, something that I never got to experience. While I have 3 siblings, I only grew up with 1, and we're not that close. I wish we were. I want that closeness for Kiernan and I want him to have brothers and sisters and cousins.

    After Kiernan was born, I felt like our little family was complete. I really and truely felt as if all I'm ever suppose to do is have one beautiful child. Now that he's almost 18 months old and is very independent, I'm starting to think about #2. I'm not ready by any means yet, but the thought and discussion is now on the table. DH and I have about 21,000 in debt to pay off first. Also, i'm planning on going back to school and getting my Masters (hopefully starting this year). That's going to throw another HUGE debt our way. DH just got a really great job that pays decent. If I get my masters, I can work full time at my job and make decent money as well. If we can get back on our feet and get some money into savings, then I think we'll be ready for #2. I'm thinking we'll probably start trying in 2013.

    I, too, feel that being a mom is what i'm suppose to do with my life. I have never been more sure about anything in this world. We'll just have to wait and see where this world takes us.

    Oh, and as for the large family idea, I want to faint when I hear anyone has more than 5 kids, LOL! I don't think God has given me enough patience to handle more than 3-4. Well, i'm going with closer to 3...LOL

  7. #17
    Posting Addict marymoonu's Avatar
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    Ideally, I'd have 4... But like Virginia's DH, I'm concerned about paying for college. If not for that, I'd be all on board for 4. DH says just get them student loans (we both have them and it's not that big of a deal. Yeah, it's a lot of money to pay back... The school we went to was 30K+ per year and he went for 5 years, I went for 6, so woohoo for that math... But anyway, it's not that big of a deal, low interest, etc.)... But my parents did pay a pretty good chunk of mine, and I'm eternally grateful. DH and his sister are both paying their full way (SIL went to the same school for the same degree as me, 6 years). DH's parents really don't have a ton of money and their two kids still both managed to go to a pretty expensive school, so I mean it is doable.... Sooooo... We'll go for our #3 starting to TTC sometime after Cal is a year old, then see how we feel. There are days when we're overwhelmed with the two that we have, hahhaha...

    Sean Thomas - 6/30/09 @ 7:17pm 8lb 8oz, 19", 40w5d
    Calvin Michael - 2/28/11 @ 7:39pm 6lb 8oz, 18", 37w5d
    Nolan Matthew - 5/1/13 @ 11:54pm 6lb 4oz, 19", 38w4d

    May 26, 2010 - 7w1d

  8. #18
    Posting Addict kmm123's Avatar
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    In addition to college I worry about retirement. Helping kids with college and ensuring we have enough to retire comfortably always weighs on my mind. Right now we put about 18% in to our retirement accounts. We haven't done much about college savings accounts. I don't ever imagine I can pay for college completely, I mean I have some college loans and think having a middle ground is good but I really don't want to strap my kids with a mortgage in college debt at 23 I'd like to be able to help some. But I worry about retiring too. Ensuring we aren't burdens on our children down the road.....it's stressful!
    Katie

    Evan 12/10/09 9lbs 5 and 1/4 oz 21.5"
    Rory 12/2/11 10lbs 12oz and 23"
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

  9. #19
    Posting Addict marymoonu's Avatar
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    Katie - 18% is awesome. LOL... I put in 4%. But my company does match about 6%, so I guess you could call it more like 10% all together. I'll probably increase my personal contribution more once the kiddos are older.

    Sean Thomas - 6/30/09 @ 7:17pm 8lb 8oz, 19", 40w5d
    Calvin Michael - 2/28/11 @ 7:39pm 6lb 8oz, 18", 37w5d
    Nolan Matthew - 5/1/13 @ 11:54pm 6lb 4oz, 19", 38w4d

    May 26, 2010 - 7w1d

  10. #20
    Posting Addict pico83's Avatar
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    I kind of have the feeling college will work itself out. I really don't like the idea of planning my family based on that. Who knows what the college tuition/aid scene will be like in 15 years. And who knows if all my kids will go (although I certainly hope so!) DH went loan-free, so I guess he feels we'll need to do that for our kids. I don't feel any such pressure.

    We're doing great saving for retirement. We haven't started saving specifically for college yet, but a big chunk of DH's pay goes into savings.
    big boy 12.8.07 @ 39+2 7lbs 8oz, 20.5" BFed for 13 months
    middle boy 8.12.09 @ 39+4 7lbs 9oz, 21" BFed for 13.5 months
    little boy 4.26.11 @ 38+4 6lbs 14oz, 19.5" BFed until 26mo and again 30-37mo
    baby boy 10.25.13 @ 41+0 8lbs 15oz, 21.5"
    8.16.12 & 12.16.12

    TTA, but would welcome a surprise


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