Any lurkers?

7 posts / 0 new
Last post
Jenni Beth's picture
Joined: 03/03/11
Posts: 1407
Any lurkers?

Are there any ladies out there suffering with PPD? I went through this after my baby was born and I feel like it is something that a lot of women don't talk about.

Let's get a chat started if anyone is interested!

Kier's picture
Joined: 03/12/12
Posts: 1973

With my last 2 pregnancies I had PPD after having them. With my DS#2 I didnt realize that I had it till I was so agitated at night from the lack of sleep (he was sleeping, I wasnt).. that the sound of my husband and 2 month(ish) old breathing was like nails on the chalk board to me. When I found that I was tempted to put a pillow over their heads to get them to be quiet, I knew something was up. I left the room and went and slept on the couch... as much as I could. The next morning I went in and talked to my Dr. They put me on some anti depressants, as well as an anti anxiety. That weekend we went to my sister's. I pumped a few bottles, and my husband slept down stairs in my sister's spare bedroom with DS#2, while I slept upstairs with DS#1. That way I could take the anti anxiety before bed, and get a good night's sleep. Doing that a couple of nights really helped. I found that the PPD was giving me insomnia, which then made the PPD worse from the lack of sleep, which then made the insomnia worse.. a perpetual cycle. With my DD I got really anxious the 2nd night in the hospital, and it made me really nervous. So, I got on meds right off the bat. I still got really irritable, but not nearly like I did with DS#1. Now, I am pregnant with my 4th. I am in a completely different place mentally, and physically... but if PPD does rear its head again, I know what to do Smile

Jenni Beth's picture
Joined: 03/03/11
Posts: 1407

That is so great that you recgonized that you had a problem and fixed it. I think lack of sleep makes PPD so much worse. I realized I had a problem when I would burst into tears for no reason multiple times a day and started feeling detatched from my son. I didn't even want to be around him. I called my OB after some urging from my mom and got on medicine. It made such a huge difference.

As a FTM I had NO IDEA how exhausting having a newborn would be. I think all FTMs should tell their DH (or parents) to watch out for signs of depression. It is sometimes so hard to recgonize that in yourself when you are a zombie from taking care of a baby.

Joined: 04/30/09
Posts: 2257


Jen - I totally agree! The sleep depravation is an absolute killer. I don't care what kind of job someone has, I don't think anything matches newborn sleep deprivation because of the lack of sleep and the tremendous responsibility there is in caring for a newborn.

Kier - it's great you recognized what was going on and got help. I would have had a really hard time pumping and letting someone else take over. That was a big reason I didn't get help for so long. I don't like to feel out of control of myself despite having a history with severe depression. It takes a strong person to admit when they need help and to actually take it.

AFM - I had PPD with my daughter, although I didn't acknowledge it until a few months ago. I have a long history with depression and anxiety and was diagnosed with major depression and generalized anxiety disorder in '06 so I always compared my moods to that. I was a total mess in the hospital, but figured it was just FTM nerves and the worries they had about DD being jaundice and born a little early.

For me, the difference with PPD vs non PPD depression was mostly a hopeless feeling and agitation. I had a lot of other life factors that I thought were causing it all. I think deep down I knew I just didn't want to admit it. I started going to therapy for some other things and figured it all out. When we get pregnant and have #2, I'm going to really try to be in check of my stress levels. It's so easy for me to say "oh it's not depression" because I'm so used to it from my past, I can shrug it off easily. I think a lot of people do it and it's too bad because really, no one should have to go through that misery when there are ways to get help. I just wish I had done something when it started so I could have just enjoyed my daughter's infancy instead of being so overly worried all the time.

smoore's picture
Joined: 11/02/03
Posts: 114

I had pretty bad PPD and Postpartum OCD with my daughter. I let it go to long... and it got pretty bad. I couldn't even think of her or be near her without almost having a panic attack. My OCD was strictly obsessive thoughts without the compulsions. I would have horrible thought of myself or others hurting her. Its horrible, because you cant escape your own thoughts. I went to my OB finally about 6 months postpartum and she pretty much told me that it was kind of late to be developing PPD and she just gave me an anti anxiety pill. Good thing I didnt give up there....
I finally with the help of family went to a family medicine Dr and was put on Zoloft that was a miracle for me. I could finally enjoy my family and my daughter. I stayed on it for about a yr and then weaned myself off and did not have any problems.
Then I got pregnant again about 2 yrs later and developed the same exact symptoms at about 10weeks. This time I could not get out of bed or eat due to my anxiety level. I lost 10 pounds and wanted to run away and didnt even care about the baby I was pregnant with. I went to the OB and was evaluated by her and an on call metal health police type person. I was put on Zoloft again... And now I am feeling better. I am currently 34 wks pregnant and have weaned myself to half a dose (25mg). I have tried to stop completely but I feel myself slipping into the bad thought process and getting very agitated. I don't want to be in that place again... it scares me. But I am scared of the tiny tiny less than 1% risk that my daughter could be born with pulmonary hypertension... I think about that everyday. I have talked to my OB and with my family about this and everyone tells my the I need the medicine and the help it does for me outweighs the risk.
Anyone else been on an antidepressant during pregnancy?

rebgrace's picture
Joined: 03/28/08
Posts: 596

:wavehello: I lurk here occasionally too!
I had ppd and pp ocd after I had dd1. She was a crappy sleeper and I had a bunch of postpartum complications which I'm sure didn't help at all. I have a history of depression, but I have NEVER felt like I did with ppd. Just like smoore, I had obsessive thoughts of hurting her. I never understood how someone could possibly hurt their own child before. Now, I do. I was crying and angry all the time, and couldn't make ANY sort of decision. When dh would ask me what I wanted for supper I would burst into tears. When she was 6 months, dh and my mom sat me down and told me that I needed help. I was such a mess I didn't even realize how sick I was. After I started on meds, it took about another 6 months until I was really back to normal. I didn't enjoy dd1's first year at all Sad When I was pregnant with dd2, I talked to my ob and she started me on meds the day she was born. I can't believe the difference!! dd2 is another crappy sleeper (aargh!!), but I am still enjoying having a baby this time. I have my moments, but NOTHING like I felt the first time.
PPD is really something that NEEDS to be talked about. I thank God that I have family who was able to get me help. I don't know where I would have ended up if they didn't intervene!!

Jenni Beth's picture
Joined: 03/03/11
Posts: 1407

Mia- My PPD made me feel extremely hopeless and like I had nothing to live for. It was such an isolating feeling. No one really understood why I was boo-hooing all the time. I'm also fearing of having it after my next baby, which won't be anytime soon! I will be more in touch with my feelings and catch it early. I agree that no one should have to suffer from it when there are some great medications that will help!

Sara- Yes, I took Prozac while I was pregnant with Carter. (I have bad problems with anxiety.) My doctor said that she felt good about me being on it because it has been around for so long and that she considered it to be one of the safer SSRIs available to pregnant women. I did start to wean off in August. It takes me a long time to come off SSRIs because of the side effects so I gave myself a lot of time to come off. My reason for weaning was that I didn't want Carter to withdraw from it after delivery. I got back on in November when my PPD reared its ugly head. I understand your concerns. No medication is completely safe for pregnant women. You just have to really talk to your doctor and come up with the best plan for you. (((HUGS)))

Rebecca- I'm so glad you were able to get help! That is awesome that your family stepped in and helped you. It is so hard to recgonize what is going on with outselves because babies consume our lives when they are newborns.

Has anyone read Brooke Shields book "Down Came the Rain"? It was comforting to me while I was suffering with PPD because I realized that I wasn't alone.