My name is Valerie, and I have one son, Carter. He is now 3 weeks old, and I am still experiencing depression and crying spells. My DH had spent the 1st 2 weeks at home with us, and just returned to work about week ago. I think I am overwhelmed being by myself all day with the baby, who I love with all my heart. I have battled depression off and on my whole life, but never took meds for it. Being by myself indoors all day has always been a trigger for me. Now that I have the baby, I rarely get out, which makes the pp depression worse. I am hoping to get over this without meds since I am BF'ing. So, hopefully I can find some comfort with this board. I am also going to try and get myself into a routine, so that I actually get a few things accomplished in a day. Hopefully that will help too!!
I look forward to messaging w/all of you! Thanks for listening!
Hi Valerie! Welcome to the board! I'm so glad you've found us. Thank you for sharing your story. Congrats on little Carter!!!
I remember when my DH went back to work. It was so hard for me, too. I didn't know what I was going to do w/ this little baby all day long.
You sound really, really positive, though. Having a routine is a really good idea. I did that, too. I even typed up a schedule for me (although I didn't stick to it...) it gave me something to do!
I hope you stick around and KUP on your recovery.
I am the mother of an almost 8 year old son, a 7 year old step daughter and an almost 6 year old daughter and am now pregnant with my new husband and my first child together. I had been suffering from depression since I was a child but had never really known I was til I started councelling after the birth of my little ones. I suffered Post Partum Psychosis with my son and PPD with my daughter. I trialled alot of different meds before we found one that worked without making me want to sleep all the time when I first discovered the Psychosis. I had terrible nightmares about people breaking in to our home and hurting my son and us. I had fears about my son being with anyone but me... even my mum taking him out for a walk for 10 minutes would send me into a panic attack. I constantly cleaned and scrubbed everything from the house to my hands and I had hallucinations of blood on the walls of my home. I cried all the time and screamed and often would try to pull the hair out of my head with the panic attacks I experienced. My little gentleman was almost 5 months old before I spoke to anyone about the horrible things I was feeling. The community nurses told me to speak to my doctor who had already let her suspitions be known to my mother. MY dr was very happy when I came in to see her. She put me on meds... Cipramil I think it was called, and I went to see a Psychiatrist who diagnosed PP Psychosis. It was a long time before I started to really improve but was set back by moving a 2.5 hour drive away from anyone I knew with my ex husband's work. I had been off the meds for only a short time when I fell pregnant with my little girl and the pregnancy was fear filled of it all happening again. I knew something wasn't right 2 weeks after I gave birth to her and told someone right away. I started on Zoloft and I think it was Zyprexa for anxiety and sleeping problems.
Unfortunately the years of depression wore my marriage down and my ex and I divorced, but we remain great friends having gone through just so much together.
Now I am 10 weeks pregnant with my third baby and both my new hubbie and me look forward to meeting this little bundle but are both very worried that I will become depressed again. Only time will tell I guess, but having gone through it twice before I hope if it happens I will be experienced enough to know what to do.
I'm happy to answer any questions I can.
Sorry about the novel
How did you know that you had PPD? I've been lurking here for ages because I think I've known since Peyton was born that I was struggling with many of the symptoms. I haven't yet been 'diagnosed', but can tick off many of the things on the list--insomnia, lack of motivation, withdrawl from potential support (and more!)... Four months later, I'm ready to admit this is awfully long for the baby blues.
Do you have a support system (friends and family) to rely on? I have the most amazing husband on the planet. He is my partner in everything, my best friend and my love. I have many friends and family, but they are either physically far away or I don't feel the emotional closeness with them that would permit me to ask for their support. Bruce is my primary souce of daily emotional support and my mom visits from Texas about once a month.
What methods did you take or are you taking to recover? Well, I've been awake so many nights trying to understand the source of my feelings and sadness. I've found a great deal of value in the stillness of the night, but I know I can't go on like this forever. I will be contacting our insurance to see about the possibility of some counseling and making an appointment with my PCP. I am mostly bfing, so I'm looking for natural and lifestyle changes to begin with.
Anything else you'd like to share? Yep, but that's good for now
Traveling life's highway with my love and partner, Bruce,
and Snacky, my sunshine boy.
Sweet angels in our hearts 6/09 & 9/10. I will always carry you.
Welcome to the board, Marissa! Congratulations on baby Peyton. What a cutie!
I'm so glad you came out of "Lurksville" to join us. Yes, 4 months is too long for the Baby Blues. Good for you for being on top of that and ready to check in w/ your PCP. Our insurance company covered my counseling but make sure the clinic or wherever you go "codes" it right...some things are covered and others aren't and it seems to depend on how the clinic codes it sometimes....??
I'm so glad you have that kind of a relationship w/ your DH. He sounds like a dream. No wonder you've made it this far w/ potentially PPD....you have a wonderful support system.
You talked about trying to make it thru this naturally... there are a few of us who are trying to do the same thing, which, I'm sure you've noticed from reading our posts. Please feel free to pop right in and post whenever you feel like it.
We'll help you out as much as we can and maybe you can give us some help too!
Ohh Marissa!! (((Hugs))) A book I really liked, and that was recomended to me by Erika (ErikaArcher) when I first came to this board was A Natural Guide to Pregnancy & Postpartum Health by Dean Raffelock and Robert Rountree - I go to it all the time, even now, for bits and peices of information.
It was hard for me to find when I first bought it, none of the libraries had it, or even my local B&N but they put in an order for me and if you do it through their store, they don't charge shipping which is great.
I also just recently saw it advertised at the bottom of PO's main bb page, imagine that! LOL
Anyhow - sorry you've been dealing with this I too am so glad you've come out of lurkdom!
Hi I'm Danielle ("Dani"), a WAHM, I will be 25 later this month, married to Ben (2 and we just had our first child, Isabella Grace, on July 15th.
I have battled depression and anxiety most of my life and finally got diagnosed when I was 18 and was put on meds.
How did you know that you had PPD?
Have not had a diagnosis but will be talking to my doctor about it on the 15th. It has been different than any other episode of depression in my past. It wasn't blaringly obvious because my "normal" bouts of depression are deep and dark and extreme. This hasn't been-I actually have good days, I just get frustrated VERY easily and am very anxious.
Do you have a support system (friends and family) to rely on?
I have an amazing husband that I share everything with and that has been soooo incredibly supportive.
What methods did you take or are you taking to recover?
I'm going to discuss it with my doctor on the 15th. Working on having more adult interaction, and learn to rely on my DH more. "I do NOT have to be super mom/wife"
Anything else you'd like to share?
go see my story post-I shared alot
Hi there! My name is Amy, my DH is Sean, and we have a little boy named Ian (aka Buddha-man). We got pregnant after only being together for a month(stupid condom), got married when I was eight months preggo, and finally moved out on our own in August.
How did you know that you had PPD? I started to realize although I was trying really hard to stay in coontrol of myself, it wasn't working. I knew it was no longer baby blues, as it got worse and worse over the months and nothing i was trying was working enough.
Do you have a support system (friends and family) to rely on? Sort of, only on the phone. My family lives in California, where as i live in Maryland and his family wouldn't really understand. Everything is perfect for them
What methods did you take or are you taking to recover? I'm trying therapy, writing, diet and exercise. It's just not enough, that's all. I keep trying it though, with hopes that I will feel normal again.
Anything else you'd like to share? I wish none of us had to be here, but am glad to know that there are others here I can talk to.
Glad you found us, Amy. Jump right in & join the discussions!
Hey, I'm Jamie. I'm 21 and DH is 25. I've battled depression and bipolar since I was a teen. We have 3 sons. When I was pregnant with my first, I developed Pre-eclampsia and had to be induced at 35/36 weeks. I suffered from PPD in silence because I had no idea I had it. I got pregnant with DS2 only 5 months after our first was born. I was not prepared. (BCP failed). I had no issues during that pregnancy but had some PPD folowing. 9 months later, once again I was unexpectedly pregnant. It was a healthy pregnancy until week 29. I developed Pre-E and was admitted for observation. I got better and was to be sent home after 3 days. After being told that, Brayden had different plans. I suffered placental abruption and had fetal heart decels. So I was rushed in for an emergency c-section. 3 days later I was finally able to see my poor baby. I knew right away I had PPD. I denied it like crazy but it was there. Brayden came home after 70 days in the NICU. I am still having a very hard time now. I believe that ordeal added fuel to the fire for sure!
How did you know that you had PPD? I wanted to deny the fact that I had a new baby, I cried all of the time. (Even when he had good days in the NICU). I still push my kids away and can't handle it.
Do you have a support system (friends and family) to rely on? I have been in and out of counseling, my family understands to an extent.
What methods did you take or are you taking to recover? I am on antidepressants, I journal
Anything else you'd like to share?
I am thankful for being told to visit this board and hope to find comfort here!!
*~Jamie~* LAVH 1/30/09
Jayson-12/07/04 @ 38 wks
Brayden-04/23/06 @ 30 wks