Hey Katie! Welcome to the board! I can defiantely relate to the feelings that you described, PPD is a terrible issue to have to deal with. I hope that you can find this board to be resourceful and an avenue to vent your frustrations or share your progress. We are all here for you!
Hi Katie! Welcome to the board! Thank you for sharing your story with us. I'm glad you found us. Please feel free to jump right in & post away.
I hope that Prozac kicks in and you start to feel better soon. I didn't realize the importance of staying on meds for 6-12 months either.... and stopped at 6 months. I most likely should've stayed on Paxil longer, however, I'm managing.
I'm so glad your DH is supportive. That makes all the difference in the world. I can also relate to the feeling you must've felt when you went to your parent's home. I remember feeling better when I went back "home," too. It was like everything would be ok.... (only it wasn't.)
Hang in there & please KUP on your journey.
Thanks for the welcomes. I'll probably post a bit now and then.....
Hi, my name is Margaret and husband is Sean, we live in Edmonton, Alberta (Canada). I am 37 and Sean is 31.
We have a beautiful little boy, Robbie, who is 18 months. Sean and I both work doing onphone technical support for a major computer company. Sean and I both suffer from depression.
I have PCOS and was supposed to have a hard time conceiving. After being on Metformin for a year we started to try. Four months later I was pregnant. I had morning sickness but loved being pregnant until.... at 24 weeks I developed gall stones and my beautiful boy used my gall bladder as a soccer ball. I was hospitalized for pain management 5 times and off work on short-term disability. My last hospitalization I went in at 34 weeks, I told my OB to induce now or I was staying at the hospital until I gave birth. After a biophysical he decided to let my little guy gain some more weight. So I waited 2 weeks in the mat ward, I was getting to know the nurses very well. Finally my doctor started the induction, got to 2cms, next day restart the induction, still at 2 cms. The 3rd morning nothing had changed, they broke my water and put me on pitocin, once contractions started they put in the epideral as they wanted to speed up my labour. At 10 pm nothing had changed and the OB said she was going to order a c-section if nothing changed by midnight. By 11 pm I was at 10 cm and pushing. Robbie was making progress but not fast enough for the doctor, using forcepts Robbie was born at 00:25 June 26, 2005. Robbie was immedately rushed to the NICU, my husband followed. He was born with his cord wrapped around his neck twice and they had to ressistate him. He was 4lbs 12oz at birth. And absolutely everything was perfect, he was a healthy baby.
How did you know that you had PPD? I figure that I had PPD while I was pregnant. Actually, even before I was pregnant I was depressed and on meds. My doctors and DH were watching for signs and figured I was fully PPD by 4 weeks post partum.
Do you have a support system (friends and family) to rely on? I have online friends that are supportive. My family lives 2000 miles away from me and I do not associate with my MIL. I do have some friends who keep asking what they could do to help me and I really have no idea.
What methods did you take or are you taking to recover? I took 40mg of prozac during my pregnancy, 4 weeks PP that upped to 60mg which is what I am currently on, wellbutrin was added about a year ago and as I started crashing down that was upped. Right now I am waiting for an appointment with a shrink. I returned to work when Robbie was 7 months (we have 12 month maternity leave) thinking it might help. Right now I am on short-term disability. I am receiving counselling.
Anything else you'd like to share? Didn't I write enough? Actually, my DH was diagnosed with severe depression this week and is now also on short-term disability.
If you got thru everything thanks for reading.
Hi Margaret! (I love your name! ) We're the same age, too!
Sounds like your little boy is a miracle baby! Congrats! You sure went thru a lot! I'm so glad you found us and I'm hoping that you start feeling better soon. I'm so sorry that your DH has been diagnosed w/ depression, too. I hope that you stick around and KUP on how you're both doing.
LOL about the name, at least you can spell it correctly. One of my SIL comes up with really unique spellings trying to spell Margaret correctlyOriginally Posted by NorthernMamaof2
Robbie is a miracle, I got my BFP the day before seeing my feritlity doc to start clomid. I am also so lucky to have the husband I have, he is such a great support.
That can make ALL the difference in the world! I'm so happy for you! What a wonderful guy.Originally Posted by robbiesmom
Hi, my name is Kim, and I am a 36 year old first time mom. I adore my 9.5 month old son, Noah, and I have an extremely supportive and patient husband, Darren. I had a great pregnancy and a planned natural childbirth. Even still, I have PPD.
I should have known something was amiss when I would have thoughts in my mind like "I hate my life" and "I've ruined my life" during those first 6 weeks. I was more than overwhelmed, I was drowning... It was so so very hard for me, but I thought it was that hard for every mom. I now know that it is a different level of hard for the PPD mom. While my other mommy friends popped out of their baby blues and right into enjoying mommyhood, I was still a mess and in survival mode
I remember people asking me "don't you just LOOOOVE being a mom?" And all I could say is "I love Noah, but I don't love being a mom yet". I said that for the first few months, and still can't say that I am fully loving being a mom still at 9.5 months.
I was diagnosed with PPD at 5 months and took zoloft from oct - december only to have it give me really long crazy dreams that caused me to wake up exhausted. So I weaned off of zoloft and began my search for an experienced Psychologist. I have recently found one who specializes in PPD and have just started taking Wellbutrin through a psychiatrist who also speciallizes in PPD.
This time has been the most isolating and darkest time I have experienced to date. And it is so very sad that it is happening at the same time my little boy is growing up... Only those who have this illness "get it" and those that think they get it but really don't get on my nerves... "oh Kim all mom's feel guilt, all mom's feel overwhelmed, etc. etc." I guarantee if they walked in my shoes with the subtle dread that met me every morning they would have to agree that it is NOT the same.
I went from being a strong, competent, capable pastor to a broken, weak, incompetent (in my mind), mess... Only my faith has given me hope as I know that when we feel broken down, God will be there to build us up. Because I am in ministry I will have a platform to help as many other women through this as I can once I get through it. For someone who has never struggled with depression, this thing has rocked my world. Negative, depressed and angry were words I would never attribute to myself until now.
anyhow, I'm writing a novel! basically I'm fighting this thing and I"m glad to find support here online Thanks for listening...
Married to Darren since 7/03
Noah born 5/06
Mom to Noah James 5.8.06
PPD Survivor 5/06 - 9/07
Mom to Faith Cara Joy 12.30.08 - No PPD!
Kim, welcome to the board! (Officially!)
You are so right about everything you posted. Nobody "gets it" unless they've been there. PPD rocked my world more than my mom dying. That's what threw me off even more...(how could I get thru the death of a parent and be so shook by the birth of my daughter) but it turned out to be all relative.
I'm so glad you're here & I hope you continue to post. I love reading your poetry & the thoughts that you post. You have a lot to say, and you say it so well.
Hi my name is Tina. I am a SAHM to Kaya (3) and Aubrey (8mos). I was diagnosed with slight PPD back the end of January. I knew I was overwhelmed with taking care of 2 children, but somedays it was just too much. I would just break down and cry. It all really started to show when my youngest turned 3 months old.
I finally went to my Dr. and got bloodwork to rule out other causes and that all came back just fine. After talking to my husband about what was going on I realized that it had been going on a lot longer.
I found out my depression started back before my daughter was born. I was placed on bedrest for 13 weeks prior to the birth of my daughter. And after her birth is when everything just came in at me. I am doing much better now, one reason that I decided to talk about how I was feeling. I realized that keeping my feelings to myself is what caused me to get worse.
Do you have a support system (friends and family) to rely on? All of my immediate family live in different states, so they are only available to rely on by phone. I am part of a playgroup, but have never became really close with any one person.
What methods did you take or are you taking to recover?
My diagnosis was slight to moderate so I opted to do therapy for now. It has been working and I get better everyday. Don't get me wrong I have some down days, but it usually is not for the entire day as soon as I talk about how I feel.
Anything else you'd like to share? Just that we are all wonderful mothers.