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Thread: Introductions****:) Everyone Please Put Your Intros Here!

  1. #51
    NorthernMamaof2
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    Hey Tina! Welcome to the board. You sure have a couple of cuties there! Wow!

    Thank you for sharing your story with us. I'm glad you're getting help & are beginning to feel better. Please feel free to pop in & post anytime. We are here to support each other.



    ~Margaret

  2. #52
    Contributor
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    17

    Default Hello

    Hello everyone,
    I'm so glad I found this site. My name is Mindy(25) and I am a new mother to Cody who is today 6 months old! I am a wife to Cy (25).
    A lot has happened in the last year. I wasn't sure what I was feeling was ppd until just a few days ago when husband and I got into another good fight over nothing! I took the test to see if I had it and I got a 90! I have it bad apparently. I never think of hurting cody, and I never feel like I don't want to be a mother to him. I never blame him for anything that is going on, after all none of this is his fault. So I really didn't think I had ppd. I had heard of extreme cases only. For example the mother who loses it and shakes her baby to death, or the one who drives herself and the baby into a body of water. I would never even think of doing that. I thought I was just stressed. We just got married in July, had the baby in September, and we just moved (two weeks ago) to a new state and all through this have been going through financial stress. I have lost my support group (of family mostly) which was helping. I started smoking again. And it seems since we have been down here that the depression has gotten worse. There are days when I just want to go away. Just run. Nice thought huh? Some days I am so mad at my husband because he gets to pee on his own, or shower w/o the baby. He gets to go to work. I'm not making much sense, I am jumping around, I am sorry. Let me finish by saying that I haven't gotten any type of treatment yet because I am embarrassed by this whole thing. I am so afraid that the doc will be mad at me, I am afraid that they will find me unfit and try to take cody, (even though I have never laid a hand on him) , and I am afraid that my husband thinks I am crazy. I try to make him understand, but I can't because half the darn time I don't know what is going on. One minute I am so happy to be a mother/wife/alive and the next I want to run screaming into the night and never return. Has anyone felt like this? Is there any hope? Do i need medication? I don't have a doc here yet. We won't have insurance for 2 months....what can I do in the meantime? Thank you for listening to me.

  3. #53
    Contributor
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    17

    Default Hello

    Hello everyone,
    I'm so glad I found this site. My name is Mindy(25) and I am a new mother to Cody who is today 6 months old! I am a wife to Cy (25).
    A lot has happened in the last year. I wasn't sure what I was feeling was ppd until just a few days ago when husband and I got into another good fight over nothing! I took the test to see if I had it and I got a 90! I have it bad apparently. I never think of hurting cody, and I never feel like I don't want to be a mother to him. I never blame him for anything that is going on, after all none of this is his fault. So I really didn't think I had ppd. I had heard of extreme cases only. For example the mother who loses it and shakes her baby to death, or the one who drives herself and the baby into a body of water. I would never even think of doing that. I thought I was just stressed. We just got married in July, had the baby in September, and we just moved (two weeks ago) to a new state and all through this have been going through financial stress. I have lost my support group (of family mostly) which was helping. I started smoking again. And it seems since we have been down here that the depression has gotten worse. There are days when I just want to go away. Just run. Nice thought huh? Some days I am so mad at my husband because he gets to pee on his own, or shower w/o the baby. He gets to go to work. I'm not making much sense, I am jumping around, I am sorry. Let me finish by saying that I haven't gotten any type of treatment yet because I am embarrassed by this whole thing. I am so afraid that the doc will be mad at me, I am afraid that they will find me unfit and try to take cody, (even though I have never laid a hand on him) , and I am afraid that my husband thinks I am crazy. I try to make him understand, but I can't because half the darn time I don't know what is going on. One minute I am so happy to be a mother/wife/alive and the next I want to run screaming into the night and never return. Has anyone felt like this? Is there any hope? Do i need medication? I don't have a doc here yet. We won't have insurance for 2 months....what can I do in the meantime? Thank you for listening to me.

  4. #54
    Contributor
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    17

    Default Hello

    Hello everyone,
    I'm so glad I found this site. My name is Mindy(25) and I am a new mother to Cody who is today 6 months old! I am a wife to Cy (25).
    A lot has happened in the last year. I wasn't sure what I was feeling was ppd until just a few days ago when husband and I got into another good fight over nothing! I took the test to see if I had it and I got a 90! I have it bad apparently. I never think of hurting cody, and I never feel like I don't want to be a mother to him. I never blame him for anything that is going on, after all none of this is his fault. So I really didn't think I had ppd. I had heard of extreme cases only. For example the mother who loses it and shakes her baby to death, or the one who drives herself and the baby into a body of water. I would never even think of doing that. I thought I was just stressed. We just got married in July, had the baby in September, and we just moved (two weeks ago) to a new state and all through this have been going through financial stress. I have lost my support group (of family mostly) which was helping. I started smoking again. And it seems since we have been down here that the depression has gotten worse. There are days when I just want to go away. Just run. Nice thought huh? Some days I am so mad at my husband because he gets to pee on his own, or shower w/o the baby. He gets to go to work. I'm not making much sense, I am jumping around, I am sorry. Let me finish by saying that I haven't gotten any type of treatment yet because I am embarrassed by this whole thing. I am so afraid that the doc will be mad at me, I am afraid that they will find me unfit and try to take cody, (even though I have never laid a hand on him) , and I am afraid that my husband thinks I am crazy. I try to make him understand, but I can't because half the darn time I don't know what is going on. One minute I am so happy to be a mother/wife/alive and the next I want to run screaming into the night and never return. Has anyone felt like this? Is there any hope? Do i need medication? I don't have a doc here yet. We won't have insurance for 2 months....what can I do in the meantime? Thank you for listening to me.

  5. #55
    Posting Addict
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    US
    Posts
    7,332

    Default

    Mindy~So glad that you have found us. PPD is such a terrible obstacle but we will all get through this together. I can definately relate to many of the things that you have mentioned. Though, I have a wonderful husband and two beautiful boys, there have been times that I wanted to just get in my car and drive--never looking back. I think it is important for you to seek a dr. now even though insurance may not cover it, you need to get a hold on this PPD before it becomes a tougher issue to grasp. There are tons of wonderful ladies on the board here and I know that we will be thrilled to have you jump right in.

    We can beat this thing!

    *Jessica*

  6. #56
    Super Poster
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Canberra, Australia
    Posts
    866

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    Post removed
    Last edited by Rori; 02-02-2008 at 11:39 PM.
    Rori
    Mommy to echidna baby Lyssa (Jan 14 2007, 34w) and welcoming tiny Abigail (May 3 2009, 29w)!
    Missing angels Andrew, Hannah, Emilie and Josette.


  7. #57
    NorthernMamaof2
    Guest

    Default

    Hi Rori!

    Welcome to the board! I believe you're our first Aussie! I'm glad you found us. It sounds like you're having a bit of a rough time. I hope that Zoloft kicks in for you soon. Did you just start it?

    I completely understand the isolation factor. That was HUGE for me after I had Anna. I had nobody to talk to, nobody understood, I had nowhere to go. I remember running up and down my basement steps with the hopes that after I exercised, I wouldn't be depressed anymore. It didn't work. (Although, I DO believe that daily exercise DOES help...this (basement stair climbing)was a one time deal with me!)

    Please feel free to come here and post anytime. We're all here for you. We've been there or are currently THERE and will help you thru whatever you're feeling. There are some really great people on this board and I can't wait to get to know you better! So! Make yourself comfortable and KUP on your progress.



  8. #58
    Prolific Poster
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    1,933

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    Hello Everyone,

    My name is Val (30) and I'm married to my wonderful DH Rob (32). I've been lurking on this forum for a few weeks now.

    I originally thought the way I was feeling was from sleep depervation and just being a new mom (the typical "baby blues"). My dh thought this also and is/was very supportive.
    My beautiful baby boy, Bobby, was born 4 weeks early due to pre-e. I was induced for 2 days until I was given an epidural because of the pain. I delivered him 2 hours later. I tell you this because I think this is were my PPD started. I feel cheated of those last 4 weeks even though I was so uncomfortable. I feel my body did me and my baby wrong. I feel like a failure because this. This will never go away because I was told after he was delivered that my next pregnancies will need to be c-sections because Bobby got stuck in the birth canal. I had 4th degree tears and had an episomomty (sp). When he was delivered I had felt such a relief all I could say was "thank god he's out" Let me just say I love my son more then life, I just thought I'd be happier. I was just so disappointed I wanted it to be over.
    Ok fast forward a few weeks... I cried almost everyday, my poor DH didn't know what to do for me except to console me and tell me everything is ok. When it went past the normal few week of the so called "baby blues" he asked me to call the dr. He knew something wasn't right. The only time I smiled was when I was holding the baby. He would tell jokes, people would come by to visit ect... I was just stone faced. I felt nothing inside. Except for the baby. I had this overwhelming love for him but I was scared to take him out. I was nervous to be alone with him for the fear I wasn't doing things right. But I kept telling myself and my DH that I just need more sleep. So he would come home from work and take over so I could take a nap. I would lay there and not be able to sleep. Same thing happened at night. If I got 3 hours a sleep at night that was a lot. Bobby would sleep about 3-4 hour stretches so its not like I didn't have an opportunity to sleep. I guess I was in denial about the whole PPD thing.
    I went to my 6 week check up and the dr. asked how i was feeling physically. I told her physically I'm fine but mentally I'm not doing all that great. I proceed to tell her everything of course crying at the same time. I tried not to but the tears just came out. I couldnt stop them. She had to ask the dreadful question "do i want to hurt my baby" I was taken back by this. But I explained that the only time I smile is when I'm holding him. But everything else does nothing for me. She prescibe Zoloft for me to take and asked me to call if I need anything. If I don't feel any change in a couple of weeks she'll need to up the dose. After talking it over with my DH we decided that I should take the meds and see what happens. My feeling was I thought I would be a failure (even more so) if I took the meds. My dh squashed that feeling. He was happy that I asked for help. (which I hardly do with anything). My only request from him was not to tell his mother (my mil). She has said on many occasions that she does not believe in PPD and people should just suck it up. He has honored my request. My mom has been great. She actually went through PPD when she had me but back then they really didn't do anything for it. So for 6 months she suffered. She was happy I asked for help also.
    So far I feel a little change since I started the meds. Not sure how I'm going to feel next Tuesday when I have to go back to work. I have taken him out by myself and its been ok. And I'm starting to laugh a little more.
    Well if you read this entire story, thank you for hanging in there.

    Val

  9. #59
    Posting Addict
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    US
    Posts
    7,332

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    Welcome to the board, Val! It sounds like you have a wonderful support system in your DH. It is so important that you talk with your doctor and keep that communication open, you seem to be doing all the right things. As hard as it is to see now, it will get better in time. Stick around and post when you can! We are always here for support!
    *Jessica*

  10. #60
    Contributor
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Atlanta, GA
    Posts
    83

    Default Finally admitting it

    Hi everyone. I am glad that I looked on this board tonight. I really needed something. I relate so well to many of the things that I have read here and it does help to know that you are not alone. I am 28 and just had my first baby, a boy, 7 weeks ago. I am a psychologist, so I know quite well the symptoms of depression and PPD. I think that even makes it more embarrassing to have PPD. I shouldnt be embarrased but I am. I am scared to tell my OB whom I go to next week. I know quite well that I shouldnt feel like that but I do. I did not even want to hold my baby after he was born. I had an easy pregnancy until about 33 weeks when I became preeclamptic and then put on bedrest. I was induced at 36 weeks and then had a difficult delivery. When he finally came I was so exhausted physically and mentally that I didnt even look at him. I felt too tired to hold him. I think it was actually the next day before I even remember anything or held him. I knew then what was going on but I thought that I could get over it. My husband did everything for the baby in the hospital. When we came home my mother was there and she did everything. Only sometime after she left and hubby went back to work that I really realized that I had a problem. I dont even respond to his crying sometimes. I hear him and pretend that I dont. I cant sleep even when hubby tries to let me. I dont want to eat and I hate the way that I look. We fight about nothing. I hate when I see people fawn over the baby. I want to feel like that. My parents came over to help one day and I lost it with them. They left and we havent really spoken since. They are taking it personally and I guess really dont understand. I dont really think of hurting the baby..but I have thought of giving him up and then I feel so guilty about it. I have thought of hurting myself. I guess I need to go on meds. I was on them a long time ago and should have told my doctor.


    Heard the heartbeat for the first time on 9/13
    170bpm


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