Welcome to the board "bettermom", I hope that you will find this board an excellent resource for you during your depression. This is a great group of ladies and we are very glad to have you!
Welcome, Donna! I am sorry that you have had to seek out this board but I am very glad that you found us. I am so sorry that you are going through this horrible time of depression. I wish that I could "fix" things so that no one would ever feel the pain of PPD. Please keep in close communication with your doctor. Find out what the best option is for you long term and make the steps to do it. I don't really like taking meds either but I most certainly don't like the way that I feel when I don't have them. You will be in my prayers. KUP.
Sorry I didn't see this thread first.
Hi...my name is Michelle and I gave birth to my second child 6 weeks ago. I suffered PPD after the birth of my son but it is sooo much mor magnified this time around. I had to come back to work after 6 weeks due to finances and I am finding it harder now. I feel like I did nothing in those 6 precious weeks I was home with her except to wish for her to sleep so I could sleep. I feel like a failure for giving up BF'ing and for not spending more time with her. I currently am on Paxil but will be starting Wellbutrin again in a few days (as soon as it comes in the mail). I am hoping that things will get better. If you read my thread below you will know that I am really at my lowest point right now and even told my husband that last night I considered being admitted to a hospital somewhere. I'm glad I found this board with others that know what it's like.
Hi. I'm new. I've been in denial about my PPD for a few months now and today it's finally gotten the better of me. My poor baby has spent most of the day crying because I honestly don't know what to do. i want nothing to do with him right now. Which only makes me feel worse about everything else.
Alright.. a little about me.. I'm Amanda. I'm 22, married, and had my first child back in February. I was diagnosed with regular(?) depression at 16, along with OCD, anorexia, and severe anxiety. I've taken a myriad of anti-depressants and anti-psychotics including Prozac, Paxil, Celexa, and Zyprexa since then. My OBGYN put me back on Prozac during pregnancy but after LO was born, I quit taking it thinking I'd be okay. Obviously I'm not. Last time I went to the doctor he gave me to opportunity to tell him how I've been feeling but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I told him everything was great and held back tears. I can't get to a psychologist at the moment because DH's car is broken which means we're surviving on one vehicle and he, of course, takes that to work everyday.
I'm lost at what to do. I still have refills of Prozac left but I've always been scared of Prozac. It helped me gain 40 pounds during my senior year of high school and 60 pounds during my pregnancy. So I don't want to take it, even though I know I should.
DH is no help at all. He doesn't see how my days could possibly be that bad since I'm a SAHM. He looks at my like I'm insane when I tell him I'm stressed out or that I had a bad day.
I have no one to talk to. My parents like to pretend that nothing's wrong with me and none of my "problems" have been mentioned since I refused to go to therapy when I was 17. My friends only know the fun Amanda, so I can't talk to them. Plus, I'm the first of my friends to have a kid so no one really understands.
Okay, I'm gonna stop now before I write a novel. I just wanted to introduce myself.
Welcome to the board. I'm so glad that you found us. It sounds like it's pretty much up to you to get started on meds (or not) because DH doesn't seem like he understands the whole PPD thing too well. My DH was the exact same.
Your doc should be able to work w/ you and your meds....finding one that works AND doesn't make you gain weight. Have you had success w/ Paxil or Celexa? I gained 40 lbs on Paxil, so I kind of know where you're coming from w/ not wanting to take the meds.
However, it really comes down to the health and well-being of you and your baby. He's 5 months old now and active as ever, I bet! You have to be well, in order to be the best Mom that you can be. Are you able to sleep at all? Try to sleep when Landon sleeps. It makes a huge difference in moods.
Also, you're 22. You mentioned none of your friends have kids...that's tough. You need to talk with people who understand what you're going thru and how you feel. Are there any parent groups in your area (or play groups that you could meet parents at?) It's so important to have a good support system.
And finally, we're always going to be here for you. If you need anything, please post away and PM me anytime.
Thank you so much for the support! I really need it right now. I love the ladies on my birth board but sometimes I feel like I don't fit in so it's good to have ladies who understand where I'm coming from.
I feel a little better today. I'm contemplating calling my doctor and seeing if he'll prescribe something else for me. I don't have a way to get to his office and I'm not sure if he'll prescribe something without seeing me. But I've realized that I need to be on medication.
Sleep is hard for me. I tend to be exhausted all day and then once midnight rolls around, I'm wide awake. By the time I finally fall asleep, DH is getting up for work (at 3:45) and after that, I'm up for the morning. I try to take a nap during LOs morning nap but lately he's only been going down for 30 minutes or so. My mom hardly sleeps so I've kind of resigned myself to the fact that I'll be an insomniac forever. I took sleeping pills through high school but I'm too paranoid that LO will wake up and need me so I won't take them now.
Like I said, thank you so much for responding! Yesterday was one of the worst days I've had in years and it's nice knowing that someone knows where I'm coming from and cares.
I'm glad that you're having a better day. Did you end up calling your doc? There's a chance, if he knows your history, that he'd prescribe something else for you over the phone. I've had docs do that for me before.
I hear ya about the sleep aids & not being able to hear the baby. I always worried about that, too. Pretty soon Landon should be on a more regular schedule and you'll be able to relax & nap when he does... a little wine sometimes helps, too! Not encouraging drinking at all, here! Just being honest!
Here's a link to the state of Alabama's PSI (Post Partum Support International) support contact person. Are you anywhere near Montgomery? http://www.postpartum.net/alabama.html
Contact person: Greta Chambless and her email is there, too. It might be worth checking it out.
Thanks for the update. Hang in there, Hun!
Hi, I'm Sarah. My son was born on July 3, 2007. He was in the NICU for 3 days due to respiratory issues so we ended up staying at the hospital for a total of 6 days. The day after we got home I began crying uncontrollably for seemingly no reason. I didn't feel attached to my son at all and frankly wanted to run away and never come back. After several days of this my husband made me call my doctor. She put me on 20mg/day of prozac and it helped for a few weeks. Just last week I felt myself relapsing into the depression and then came the panic/anxiety attacks. The doc has switched me to Effexor and gave me Xanax for the panic attacks to get me by until the Effexor kicks in fully. I just want to feel like myself again. Thankfully, my mom and sister have been wonderful. They are here nearly everyday helping me take care of Sean and giving me breaks to take care of myself when needed.
Welcome to the board, Sarah. I am so sorry that you had to seek us out but I am very glad that you found us. I can relate so much to your post. It sounds like you are taking the right steps by talking with your doctor. It is so wonderful to see that you have support also---it seems as though your mom, sister, and DH will be an asset as a support system. Please don't hesitate to post when you can. If you have questions or concerns...we are always here for you. Keep that communication open with your family too though...and be sure to let your dr. know of any new or increased symptoms. It is tough to see it in the beginning but PPD will not last forever. We are here when you need us!
Thanks for the welcome. It's nice to have a place to go where people can understand what I'm going through!