So I had my 6 week followup today. It was pretty uneventful. My csection seems to have healed up nicely and my insides they say are back to normal. I asked a few questions (of course) as to if anything has come up that can explain why Zara died and he said no. I guess they will never give a reason. I told him I thought that them sending me home those 2 times and me being in labor from Tuesday night until I had Zara on Saturday morning probably had something to do with it and I let him know that I do not think I should have been sent home. I was proud of myself for saying that. I also told him that I think the doctor on call should have done the csection sooner. He of course said some bs about hindsight, blah blah blah, but at least I feel like I said what I thought. I do totally blame them for what happened. This is the last time I am going there. i am going to change my doctor; I only went today because I didn't know who else to go to and I wanted to get the 6week checkup done and over with.
Anyhow, he gave me a prescription for some bcp. I don't know if I should take it or not. They said I should wait at least 9 months to get pregnant again. I had to do IVF to have Zara so the odds of me getting pregnant on my own are very slim. BUT I have had 2 mc's in the past 7 years that I got pregnant naturally with. I know it would be really bad if I got pregnant but with my changes of getting preg so low, do you think I should take the pill? On one hand I think if it happens, it happens, but then on the other hand I know it wouldn't be good for my body or mind to get preg so soon. What do you guys think?
I'm sorry for your losses and that you had to deal with questionable medical care. All of this is horrible and tragic enough without thinking that the people who are there to help you may have messed up. My heart goes out to you. Hugs.
As far as the BCP, and this is just my humble opinion, if you know that you aren't ready right now, then I think I would take them as a precaution, at least until you find a new Dr. who can give you an opinion you may trust more. Another Dr. may not say you should wait 9 months.
I don't know all the reasons you were told to wait so long and I know there are many people who do decide that they don't need to wait (and many do go on to have healthy pregnancies), but I personally take what my OB or my Dr. says to heart (I'm changing OB's too, so we'll see about this new one). Personally, I know I couldn't take it if something were to happen if I got pregnant and hadn't been following orders. I guess that's just one way that I feel like I protect my sanity in case it happens again. And for me, we were only told to wait 2 months, but it helped me to not think of when I may O or when to DTD and all that for a few months. My mind needed the break. You may be different though, I don't know. Good luck whatever you chose. My thoughts are with you.
I would personally be looking for answers from the docs of why it happened too, good for you for asking, maybe you should see if you can get a copy of the hospital notes, I would think its your right to see what is written about what went on during your delivery if it could help you figure out what went wrong. Anyways, my baby I lost was not full term, he was born at 24 weeks, but my doc told me my body would be physically ready to try again after one normal cycle, but mentally it might take longer. Im not sure why he said to wait 9 months maybe cuz of the c-section, but if you definitley dont want to take the chance, you need more time to mentally and phyically heal, I would take the bcp.
I have no answers for your BCP question. I did want to say kudos to you for saying those things to your doctor. More often than not, we get bullied into just following orders. Unfortunately I know all too well the pain and devastation that comes from a loss that could have been prevented if "professionals" had been willing to do their job the right way the first time around. If you ever want an ear to bend, feel free to pm me at any time.
I also lost an IVF baby at 16 weeks. My doctor told me to wait two months, I ended up getting on bc pills after the miscarriage because my hormones were all over the place. I spent 4 months trying to find a bc pill that did not cause horrible side effects for me (emotional). I stopped taking birth control pills in January and got my period right on time. I am at the point (7 months since lost) that if it happens naturally it happens. I am not ready to go through IVF again.
I am sorry for your loss but am very happy that you questioned the doctor. I think if more pregnant women questioned their doctors we might have less losses.
Physically I dont think it is nessacary to wait 9 months. I got pregnant 5.5 months after my first and carried Savannah to full term with a completely normal pregnancy. Only you can know when you are ready. I'm sure there will be a huge emotional stress on you no matter when you make the decision but you have to be able to cope with it.
Good for you for telling your Dr. how you feel. I hope you are able to find someone that you are more comfortable with. ((HUGS))