advice needed, m/c mentioned

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Joined: 06/11/09
Posts: 15
advice needed, m/c mentioned

Hi there,
I'm sad to have had to find this page...but also glad to know there is somewhere since this is our 3rd loss. Yesterday we went for a follow up OB appt at 11w2d, only to find out the heart and growth had stopped sometime in the week after our first ultrasound (which was the first time we'd ever seen a heart beat). In my two previous miscarriages, my body was able to do it naturally. Since it has been about 3 weeks since the baby stopped growing / heart stopped, my OB wants us to consider cytotec or a D&C. Has anyone had experience with both? What would you do if you had to do it over again? I know everyone is different...even my two previous losses were different (first was at about 9wks, was incredibly painful and scary; 2nd was at 6.5wks, and didn't seem like more than a normal period). I'm worried about the risk of hemmorhage with the cytotec...especially since I've been on progesterone suppositories to help things along, but also worried about a d&c. Any advice? Thanks...

Holly_Anne618's picture
Joined: 04/03/07
Posts: 1271

First of all, I'm so sorry for your loss :bigarmhug: It's so heartbreaking when new faces show up here.

I had a D&C with my m/c. In fact, I ended up having 2 because there was placenta left behind. Honestly, I was scared of the D&C, and it really wasn't that bad. The hardest part for me was knowing that when I woke up from the surgery that my baby wouldn't be w/me anymore. For my surgeries I went in about 2 hours before so they could give me an IV and draw some blood. Then an antheseologist came in to talk to me about the medicine they would be giving me and what to expect when I woke up. Soon they came in, and DH had to go wait in the waiting room. I was wheeled into the OR and I remember them wrapping my feet, and then the next thing I remember is waking up in recovery. I stayed in recovery for about an hour and they made sure I wasn't nauseus before taking out my IV. The cramps weren't too bad until the next day, and I had light bleeding for the first two days and then it picked up and was heavier.

I have no experience with Cytotec, so I'm no help there, and I'm sorry this turned into such a novel. Just know that we're here for you if you have any questions :bigarmhug:

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I am so sorry for your loss. It is hard no matter when you miscarry. I also have had three miscarriages. With my first, I was 16 weeks along and delivered but had to have a D/C to remove the placenta because it was stuck. I don't remember much. The cramping wasn't too bad just like a bad period. I bled heavy for about 4 days and then it tapered off. My second miscarriage was at 6 weeks and I had a D/E it is a little different but pain from that was worse than the D/C. My third was this past Feb and I had a natural miscarriage at 5 weeks.

I am not sure what the other is...just my opinion I would do the D/C, it is obvious that your body does not want to let go naturally. I am so sorry and please know that we are here for you whenever you need.

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859

I am so sorry for the reason you have to be here :bighug:

At 8 wks, 2 days they still saw an empty sac on my u/s, and the doctor recommended I schedule a D&C for no more than one week later, so I did. However, I wanted it to happen naturally. At the recommendation of a friend, I had already begun drinking Raspberry Leaf Tea on a daily basis the week before, and at 8 wks, 6 days I began to miscarry on my own, so I did not have to have the D&C. The cramps have been pretty painful at times, but manageable with 4 Ibuprofen (200 mg each), and the bleeding has been moderate to heavy, though never "too" heavy, with lots of clots, two of them being pretty large. As of today I have been bleeding for 7 days (counting the first day), but it appears to be tapering off some today. I should also mention that the pain got so intense at one point that I puked (dry heaves) but it was short lived and only happened once.

I am not sure what advice to give you, I just wanted to share my personal experience in hopes that it might help you in making your decision.

I hope whatever method you choose that it goes smoothly for you and with the least amount of pain possible.

Joined: 06/11/09
Posts: 15

Well, since nothing has happened at all yet, we've decided to do the D&C. Since it has already been over 3 weeks since the baby's heart stopped, the doctor doesn't want it to go much longer (otherwise the risk of infection goes up, I guess). In a way I wish the bleeding would just feels so surreal right now. But in a way I don't want it to...that makes me more comfortable with the idea of a D&C. They couldn't schedule it until 6pm tonight, going in to the hospital at 4. Just feels like such a long day waiting...though I'm kind of glad that when they release me tonight, I'll just be able to go to bed and sleep...I hope.

Oh this roller coaster is driving me is just so hard. Doesn't help at all that I work in a NICU and am surrounded by babies and the pain of pregnancy not going as hoped all day. DH has doubts about me going back to work after this...but I just can't justify quitting my job and losing that income until a live baby comes along, you know?

Can't I just wake up a year from now with a sweet, healthy baby in my arms?:confused:

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Good luck. I have had three and they are not bad. Hang in there.

Joined: 06/11/09
Posts: 15

Well, we had the D&C last night. My OB and the hospital staff were absolutely wonderful, but it was just such a horrible, horrible thing to have to go through. I just hate that it is the same procedure as an abortion (though I am pro-choice) and this was a VERY much wanted and planned pregnancy Sad The worst part physically was the IV (I am a tough stick and they DUG around in my hands to get one) and right after I woke up the cramps were pretty bad. I've had very little bleeding or cramps since...seems like it might increase though, given Holly's experience? Honestly, I feel like the natural mc we had last fall felt more 'real'...probably because of the horrible bleeding and cramping. I never had any symptoms of mc other than the clear ultrasound evidence this time, and then to have the D&C under anesthesia gives it all a really unbelievable quality...I keep feeling like I'm going to wake up from this nightmare, but I know I won't Sad Thanks for listening / reading...

WhiteWolf68's picture
Joined: 02/06/09
Posts: 505

So sorry you had to have the D&C but now you can heal and be back to trying again soon. Losses are never ever easy no matter how they end and such. Sad

/sending you lots of hugs


Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

sending hugs.

HarleyGurl's picture
Joined: 12/01/08
Posts: 373

((hugs)) I had a d&c a month ago. I bled lightly for 13 days after. I hope you have a speedy recovery. For me the emotional pain was far more worse than the physical. A loss is never easy. :bigarmhug:

Joined: 02/01/09
Posts: 6

My first 2 miscarriages were before we had a heartbeat. The first one was painless due to meds and herbs. Mentally I was more thrilled that I really could get pregnant...
I took my 3 cycles to have a normal cycle.
The second was extremely early, chemical pregnancy early, and the hardest part was having doctors tell me it was faulty HPT and was more then likely just going through 'the change'. Blood tests after that came back peri menopausal and I even had a doctor laugh at me when I said I wanted to try again. I started using Vitex and it took 40 days to have a somewhat normal cycle.

The third one was at 8 weeks about a year ago. I passed it naturally and it took about 3 1/2 hours of horrible pain and than I bled and spotted off and on for 4 weeks and got my period back after 6 weeks. It took me about 6 cycles to ovulate again.

Two weeks ago I had a D&C because the fetus had been dead for over a month. My body tried repeatedly to reject it, but the tissue was stuck. The pain upon waking was pretty bad (but I also had a tubal) and it lasted just the next day. I bleed just the day of the procedure and spotted for about another week.
It's two weeks today and my ovaries are mocking me by actually working.

For me the gas pains have been more painful then the recovery.

Based on my personal experience I would advice any woman to go the D&C route.
I know there is a sense of closure with the pain and cramping, though you get plenty of that with a D&C, but for me...and my middle name is "I refuse to recover easily or normally from anything"...the recovery of a D&C is better. It's a much cleaner sense of "I'm done and I can get my life back sooner."

Humans are odd with their need for physical pain to match mental pain. The mental pain of knowing your baby died and waiting for the horrid physical job of passing it is worse then any physical torture every invented by man. I don't understand (not discounting it or belittling it, just saying I don't understand) the need to back this up with physical pain.

When I think about my D&C, it's like I had a c-section miscarriage.

Joined: 05/05/09
Posts: 3

I have tears streaming down my face as I write this. I suffered a miscarriage at 12 weeks at the end of April. I had a d&c on my 21st birthday. It was the most difficult thing I have ever gone through. I am still an emotional wreck and cant even bare to look at a sonogram picture without busting out into tears. I have no advice really, just keep you head up and pray, as that is all you can really do. I just want you to know you and your family are in my prayers.