Am I being selfish? Pg ment

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Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852
Am I being selfish? Pg ment

My best friend is pg. I am so happy for her. I am one of the 1st people that she told.

She was the one person I was able to share my grief/emotions with after my 2 m/c. I am just as happy for her as I would be for me.

Now, people are starting to feel pity for me. I am starting to get sad because I am the only one in my large group of friends without children.

I was feeling emotionally great for a while, but now I am starting to get sad again. I don't want to feel sad.

My friend is planning on telling everyone at an event this weekend. I hope that I can handle it.

Any advice? I really am happy for her, but I am starting to feel sad for myself too. Is that selfish?

Thanks for being here. I really don't have anyone else to relate to.


Joined: 11/19/05
Posts: 456

Pitying you in what way?? Has someone said something to you?? Or, is it just a feeling you are getting??

Your sadness could be a mixture of the two....I am sure it is hard to see all your friends go on in pregnancy... Sad And although I know you are waiting to find out if you are preg labor day Smile (I so hope so!!) .....Maybe the *what if you are not* is creeping in on you....Which could be contributing to the sad feelings you are having, iykwim?

I think you will do well at the event...Remember, you could have a little one growing in you!!! Keep that in mind when she makes her announcement...Hold onto that hope!!

To answer your question?? Feeling the way you do most certainly does not make you selfish!!! Your feelings are normal, considering what you have been through...


Joined: 03/11/07
Posts: 67

Melissa, don't be so hard on yourself. Your situation will change and one day you will be "part of the gang" or whatever that means. People will not judge you for having or not having children, and if they do, they weren't worth the effort to begin with. Good luck sweetie!

CamelNoodle's picture
Joined: 07/28/04
Posts: 908

It doesn't make you selfish, it makes you human. You wanted your baby. It normal to mourn the loss in many ways. I still have a hard time with pregnant people. It's suppose to be ME, not them (as if there is a limited number of pregnancies to go around)


tina_haley_n_beanz_mommy's picture
Joined: 11/14/06
Posts: 212

You are not being selfish. I was the same way when I lost my angel. I felt it wasnt fair.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Thanks for your support.

Maybe I am being a little to emotional. All of my friends know about my m/c, and I know that they are sad for me too. I am going to try to be grateful for all of the other things in my life.

I am glad that I have this place to vent and share my feelings. I let you know how it goes.


Shee_Na's picture
Joined: 09/23/06
Posts: 53

It is so not selfish. After my last m/c in Aug 05 everybody around me got pregnant and I was so upset and sad. A couple of my very good friends got pregnant around the time Jeremiah was born and then died. It was hard and I was very emotional not wanting to deal with them. It wasn't and still isn't fair that they had healthy babies that are at home with them and I don't. Am I greatful for the things I have? Yes totally and completely- but I will always be jealous of those that have what I have lost. Thats just human nature not being selfish.