Another loss (pregnancy, children ment)

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shadow_grey's picture
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Another loss (pregnancy, children ment)

I'm not sure if this is appropriate to post here so, if it is not, please feel free to move / delete.

I went in for a repeat scan this week and it showed a missed miscarriage (8weeks). Bean stopped developing around 5 weeks and, other than the sac being an irregular shape, I am not showing any signs of miscarrying on my own. I had been spotting but even that has now stopped. (tmi) but I can smell something strange and am worried about infection. My doc is worried about a 'catastrophic bleed' based on my medical history. These things have all led to the recommendation (and my agreeing to) a D&C.

This will be my third m/c. It will be my fourth D&C (one with laparoscopy and hysteroscopy for endo diagnosis, two for missed miscarriages, one for retained products 8 weeks after delivery). I have also had a manual extraction of a placenta. These things now put me at an increased risk of Asherman's Syndrome. The doctors keep stressing the risk and it is making me worried. Plus, part of me knows it can cause recurrent early miscarriages and the paranoid part of me is asking 'what if I already have it? It could be mild and a D&C would aggravate'. At the same time, I don't want to wait and have a big bleed (I've hemorrhaged before, twice).

So confused. At least this paranoia is distracting me from complete dispair about another m/c

AlyssaEimers's picture
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I am so sorry for your loss. :bigarmhug::bigarmhug::bigarmhug:

mom2robbie's picture
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I am so sorry. Hugs.

AVoiceInTheWilderness's picture
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I am so sorry Sad ..It's been a while since I've been on...What has been happening over this past week that you posted? I'm not going to tell you not to stress. I had 4 D&C's one being D&E ...Had to see an oncologist with one. My other losses happened naturally..10 all together plus old age.. See below warning **Child-ment!**

At the age of 43, no answers found I had my first baby that stayed with me. At the age of 45, I had my 2nd to stay with me. Doctors told me possible but not probable. Most def. consider the doctors thoughts but, listen to that inner voice of yours whatever it might be saying. You hang in there ..

shadow_grey's picture
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Thanks ladies. In all honesty, I'm not coping so well.

I had a d&c on Monday. It went smoothly as far as I can tell. They are sending it for karyotyping to see if there was a chromosomal reason. I was pretty good physically tues - wed. Wednesday night I got some really strong contraction-like pains and pressure. Passed after about 20 minutes. Thursday had some cramping and a weird discharge. This morning (friday) had ongoing contraction-like pains and a pink-orange discharge so I ended up back at emergency and was readmitted. They don't know what is going on. They suspected retained products or infection. First swab came back normal range but they needed cultures for something which will take 5 days to come back. hcg was apparently still elevated so they have to retest that next week too to see if coming down.

Emotionally, I'm a wreck. I'm pushing DH and everyone else away and then cry that I have no-one I feel like I can talk to. (warning, child ment) It is like people think that because I have two healthy children I should just be grateful but I still lost three babies and each one seems to be harder than the last to move forward from. The hospital referred me to a psychologist after the d&c but then when she called she was insesitive and asked stupid questions so I told her I was fine to get rid of her.

AlyssaEimers's picture
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Oh honey, I am so sorry! It does not matter how many children you have, it is still very devastating to have a loss. :bigarmhug:

AVoiceInTheWilderness's picture
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My heart breaks for you Sad . Those close will try to comfort...But unless loss has been experienced, they won't be able to help much Sad .. I found that coming here often really helped me. To know that the ladies on this board, and a few others, could have an understanding..That connection I needed so badly. Grieving is seemingly an unbearable thing to do...You will get there tho - your time. Don't let anyone tell you what that should be! ((Hugs))

shadow_grey's picture
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Thank you. For understanding and for taking the time to respond

pico83 (not verified)

I'm sorry you're going through so much. How awful that the d&c couldn't just be straight forward so you could try to move on. I wish you'd been able to talk to a sensitive psychologist. It's amazing how useless they can be sometimes.
:bighug: I hope you start feeling better soon. I wish there were more I can do, but all I can offer is sympathy. I got diagnosed today with a BO and am facing a d&c of my own in a couple days. It's too bad the internet doesn't allow us to really cry on each others shoulders.

shadow_grey's picture
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I'm really sorry to hear it wasn't better news for you at your u/s (I sometimes go back and lurk on the board but mostly it makes me feel worse).

I had acupuncture for the first time today. He is going to try and clean me out and get my energies balanced so I can heal. I don't know that I believe, but it does feel good to be doing something.