I want to get your perspectives on this. A "friend" and I had a bit of a blowout not long ago, it's too long of a story to get into but the backstory is that when I was pregnant a year ago (was 16 weeks when I had the devastating m/c), she had given me a bunch of baby clothes she had. Some stuff was stuff that was given to her (a lot of it actually) and some she never even used. There were also a few maternity clothes. Well, I guess I've had the stuff for a year or so, but seriously have not had the strength to go through it or decide what to do with it.
So a month or so ago (it was amazing timing, one day off from my m/c the year before!) we had this blowout. After she hung up, very ANGRY - she called me back about 20 minutes later and said "you know all those baby clothes you have? Well, I want them back! You can bring them to me, and I also want the maternity clothes" I was flabbergasted! We had never talked about me ever "returning" the clothes, and quite frankly, since she is not planning on having any more kids, I just assumed that she would not want them back and I would *hopefully* have use for them in the future.
What IS proper etiquette for dealing with stuff given to you before a m/c?? I have no idea what the rules are. Or IF there are any... but that request from a "good friend" hurt me down to my core because it came off as being something she purely used to cause me pain.
I;m sorry for your loss. My guess is she is angry and knows that will be the one thing to really hurt you. I would pack them up and let her know they will be on your front lawn and to come get them. There will be other people who pass stuff to you and youdo not need the bad karma in the house.
Stacie, I am sorry your "friend' could be like that. I agree with Missy, she wanted to say something she knew would hurt you, she wanted to strike below the belt. I too would pack them up and let her know they were on the curb, and to get them now. Unfortunately, if you did use it, much of it would remind you of the "break-up", at least it would for me.
Thx guys. I took care of it today and it wasn't that much stuff, a garbage bag full, but was easy to get it all together. I'll leave it out for her now. It's really too bad she did this though, as I can't see myself forgiving her anytime soon for this...
I'm really curious though, and wondering if it is "ok" or acceptable to ask for baby clothes back, in a normal situation of course? What about when you do have a kid, use those clothes, do they end up going back to the person who gave them to you? Or do people normally pass them on to someone else? (esp. if the person who gave them to you was definitely not having any more kids). Just still trying to make sense of it all I guess.
I think if someone wants their baby clothes/maternity clothes back, they state that at the time they give them. A friend of mine lent me her maternity clothes, but she said she was lending them to me, not giving. I had other people give me clothes. I have since lent my baby clothes to many ppl, but I tell them I have my initials marked on the tag, so that they can be returned to me. So yeah.. in a normal situation, I would say keep them. Hugs!