I'm still sore from the d & c, but I went back to work today. I knew the gal that works downstairs ( I work in a very small office ) was due yesterday. Wouldn't you know that the first phone call I take today is her dh telling me she had the baby?!?! UGH I said congratulations and asked if everyone was fine, but that was all I could muster up. THEN....the postman comes in and leaves a pkg for the office downstairs (it's a family business)- the other gal in my office tells him that they had the baby. Here's the conversation: Postman: Now they have a boy and a girl right?
Postman: (to the other gal) You have one of each, too, right?
Postman: You have just the one, right?
Postman: Are you going to have more do ya think?
Why? Today of all days....
Another client comes in and my boss has to gush to him about the new baby downstairs, and asks him when he and his wife will start planning a family. Then he tells my boss that his brother's wife is 11 wks and they will give it a few years, yada yada yada.....
I turned to Lesley and said 'Can they just talk about something else right now? '
As I am typing this, the news coming up is "why midwives are gaining momentum".....so I turned the channel to HGTV...they are re-doing a bathroom for a mom-to-be...click, next.....
Where is that bubble I can crawl into? I feel like crap - I'm sore, I'm still constipated, and now I have 'baby fat' to lose without having a baby to show for it.
Sorry for venting so loudly....thanks for listening.
I am sorry for your loss. I know how you feel. My co-worker is 6 months pregnant and we have assigned seating, so I have to sit next to her every day and I spend half of my time at work just staring at her belly. Everyone always gives her a lot of attention, but ignores me because I was never really visibly pregnant. However, I did gain about 10 pounds, and I am only 5 feet tall, so 10 pounds feels like a lot to me, and it doesn't look like it's going anywhere. I only fit into two pairs of pants right now, and only because they're stretchy.
Sounds like a really sucky day. Doesn't it seem like everyone everywhere only talks about having babies? I guess I never really noticed it before I lost Zara.
I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.
Take care of yourself.
THat wasn't a loud vent. That was a very soft vent considering all that you went through today. Your strength is amazing and inspiring. I am sorry that you had to have a day like that. I wish you better days in the future.
Oh hun im so sorry. That sounds like an awful day! It seems when we have a m/c we are constantly reminded of it. I had a d & c on 18th Jan, then 2 days later my bf had her baby boy. Then my sis announced she was pg too. At school all the mums were pg, or giving birth. I feel like there is no-where I can hide at all. Not with family, friends or anything. I know what you mean about looking for a hole to climb in to, thats how I feel all the time too. I guess the point I am trying to make is please know that you are not alone. There are many of us grieving mothers out there, doing everything they can to avoid pg women and babies, and feeling just awful when forced to be confronted with them (I actually climbed over a fence, and walked through a muddy field about a week after my d & c just so I could avoid an aquaintance that I knew with her new baby!!!)
I read somewhere that when a women loses a baby her body is both physically and emotionally ready to have one, and I could not agree more with this. I have never felt so ready for a baby, and I am sure thats what makes all of these situations so hard for us. If you imagine all the hormones with have, coupled with the fact that we are excited and planning for the new baby, its a huge blow when it is all taken away from us. I hope you have a better day tomorrow. Dont be too hard on yourself, this is still all very raw at the moment, and you will have up days and down days, just hopefully the up days will begin to eventually overtake the down days. (((hugs to you )))