Bad day (pg ment)

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Joined: 11/30/07
Posts: 117
Bad day (pg ment)

Sad First off I got my af this morning, which always hurts a little as it reminds me im no longer pg.

Just got a text from my sister (she is 12 weeks pg) to tell me everything on her scan went well (she was actually mad I did not text to wish her luck. Hello, she called on the morning of my d & c to tell me she was pg!!!) not sure if any of you remember but she was SUPER UNsupportive to me when I had my missed m/c. Of course i am pleased for her that all is ok, I never want anyone to go through what we have all experienced. But I cant help getting mad the way she insists on rubbing everything in my face all the time. Im sure she does it to be hurtful, she has that kind of mean streak in her. Its my dads b-day tonight and we will all be there to give presents etc. I know she will insist on shoving the scan pictures under my nose etc. I know it makes me sound bitter, but honestly she sits there pg, chain smoking, literally one after another, and it gets to me so much. I bite my tongue, but in my head all I hear is 'its not fair, its not fair!!' She drinks tons of fizzy and coffee and smokes about 40 a day. I find it so hard to watch after just loosing my baby. If my Dad (not her Dad, we just have same Mum) ever mentions it to her, it really bugs him too, she just says well her other 3 kids turned out fine!!! Yeah, you have just been incredibly lucky!!!! I honestly think I may choke on my chinese takeaway tonight if I have to sit through it all again!! I always try to be nice and show interest in the pg where I can, but she has been so hateful to me that in my head I really dont want to.

I hope I dont sound awful in this, im just still having a hard time coming to terms with my loss and lack of support etc, and my sister is always right under my nose, im sure she does it on purpose. I honestly get up some days, and wonder how ill make it through.

Thanks for listening as always!

CamelNoodle's picture
Joined: 07/28/04
Posts: 908

:bigarmhug: Some people are just downright mean and insensitive. It sounds like your sister needs to grow up a little.

I'm a year plus pass my loss and I'm still having a hard time "coming to terms with it". It's not something you get over, it's something you just get through.

Janel

vbear's picture
Joined: 01/22/05
Posts: 83

{{{{{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}} Sorry you have to deal with her.Try to ignore her as much as possible and concentrate on your dad.Some people just thrive on making others miserable

Joined: 11/19/05
Posts: 456

Try putting some distance between you and your sis for now, maybe??

I feel bad for the lo she is carrying...Sounds like she is polluting her body...Poor little baby has no say Sad

I would recommend keeping away from her for now...You really do not need what she is dishing out..

Marie :bighug:

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I totally understand where you're coming from and she is an insensitive little jerk. I am also SO annoyed by people who drink or smoke(!!) during pg, I was totally healthy and ate everything I thought was right, exercised, and here I am, losing my baby. Then you have idiots like your sis, who is treating her body (and her baby) like crap. It's frustrating as hell.

Pointing out the fact that you have three healthy kids is totally irrelevant to the fact that you lost your baby. I agree with Marie, you should maybe just keep away from her for awhile. I have a heck of a time looking at u/s scans right now, I think I would lose it if someone shoved one in my face, knowing what my dh and I have been through... Sad

Joined: 04/21/06
Posts: 96

:bighug: I am so sorry you don't have the support you need. I understand about your sister. My sis is preggo as well. Her and I were 5 weeks apart. She found out the day that I lost the baby that she is having a girl. She is nowhere ready to be a mom. Her and her BF just got jobs, they don't have a place to live, ETC... Sometimes it just makes me just so upset.

KaellyNicole's picture
Joined: 12/27/07
Posts: 219

(((HUGS)))

When I lost my little boy, I moved to Germany the same week. My middle sister, Amy who is 6 years older then me, was honestly the worst. She's never been pregnant and doesn't have any children... yet she is a know-it-all type person. She gets on me for calling my son by his name, being upset when his EDD rolled around, told me I should "Get over it", and worst of all, "It's not like he was born." If i weren't in Germany, I would have beat her up myself honestly!

So, I feel your pain! (((HUGS))) and thoughts coming from me!

Joined: 11/30/07
Posts: 117

Thanks so much for all your support. Luckily she was not at my parents at the same time as me so I did not have to deal with it! Thank goodness

"cabin_dweller" wrote:

Pointing out the fact that you have three healthy kids is totally irrelevant to the fact that you lost your baby.

She has the 3 kids not me (how I originally wrote it was confusing, edited it now to make more sense) - she points out that she smoked and drank with them and they are all healthy! She was just lucky. grrrrrr!!!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Ah, I get it, thanks for the clarification. I hate that as well. A friend of mine was trying to get me to drink during my pg ("just a taste") which I was totally against. She went on to tell me that a friend of hers drank a glass of wine "everyday during her pg and her kids are BRILLIANT!"

Geez, that still doesn't make it right.

Ah, crap I'm just full of anger today!! lol

shellyhudson's picture
Joined: 01/13/07
Posts: 814

You sound completely normal to me.

I am amazed by the strength of you ladies. I have so totally lost my tact and cooth. I would have gone off a long time ago if in your situation.

I may be bitter and rude, but I don't take sh*t from anyone anymore. I just let rip. I am at the point where if they don't get it, they are worth the time explaining.

If someone truly cares, even when they don't understand they will give you the space you ask for.

I hope that you find some peace soon.

Shelly

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Funny you say that Shelly, I think I am headed in that direction... fast! I am losing patience with most people and sometimes I think I don't have a care in the world for others right now.

Joined: 05/04/06
Posts: 250

You sound completely normal to me.

She is the one that needs to get a clue.. I'm sorry.

Karen

StephanieJune's picture
Joined: 01/19/08
Posts: 103

I am sorry that your sister is so mean. I am glad that my family doesn't know about my angel baby. I don't know how they would have reacted, but I don't want to know. I think that it is so much easier to just keep it between me and my fiance. I regret telling some of my friends. They just don't understand at all. They think that I should feel relieved, not depressed. But I can't blame them for thinking that because they have never been pregnant, so they don't know what it's like.

nurseapril's picture
Joined: 01/25/07
Posts: 48

I know where you are coming from. My mother in law is the queen of "I'm trying to be nice but saying some really insensitive things." Her favorite thing to say is "It just wasn't meant to be," which drives me up the wall because who is she to say/know that. We had my sister in law mad at us on Easter because we were 10 minutes late for dinner. She would barely speak when we got there. Only one person, my DH's grandmother, was sensitive enough to ask if we had stopped by the cemetary to visit our son's grave. It's enough to make you scream.

I have recently started speaking to a social worker about everything going on, and she said something to me while I was complaining about my mother in law that, if for no other reason, makes me smile a little when dealing with these people. She said that they're not trying to be mean, they're just idiots. I hope you don't take it the wrong way. Its just one of the best things I've heard in a while.

April

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