First off I got my af this morning, which always hurts a little as it reminds me im no longer pg.
Just got a text from my sister (she is 12 weeks pg) to tell me everything on her scan went well (she was actually mad I did not text to wish her luck. Hello, she called on the morning of my d & c to tell me she was pg!!!) not sure if any of you remember but she was SUPER UNsupportive to me when I had my missed m/c. Of course i am pleased for her that all is ok, I never want anyone to go through what we have all experienced. But I cant help getting mad the way she insists on rubbing everything in my face all the time. Im sure she does it to be hurtful, she has that kind of mean streak in her. Its my dads b-day tonight and we will all be there to give presents etc. I know she will insist on shoving the scan pictures under my nose etc. I know it makes me sound bitter, but honestly she sits there pg, chain smoking, literally one after another, and it gets to me so much. I bite my tongue, but in my head all I hear is 'its not fair, its not fair!!' She drinks tons of fizzy and coffee and smokes about 40 a day. I find it so hard to watch after just loosing my baby. If my Dad (not her Dad, we just have same Mum) ever mentions it to her, it really bugs him too, she just says well her other 3 kids turned out fine!!! Yeah, you have just been incredibly lucky!!!! I honestly think I may choke on my chinese takeaway tonight if I have to sit through it all again!! I always try to be nice and show interest in the pg where I can, but she has been so hateful to me that in my head I really dont want to.
I hope I dont sound awful in this, im just still having a hard time coming to terms with my loss and lack of support etc, and my sister is always right under my nose, im sure she does it on purpose. I honestly get up some days, and wonder how ill make it through.
I totally understand where you're coming from and she is an insensitive little jerk. I am also SO annoyed by people who drink or smoke(!!) during pg, I was totally healthy and ate everything I thought was right, exercised, and here I am, losing my baby. Then you have idiots like your sis, who is treating her body (and her baby) like crap. It's frustrating as hell.
Pointing out the fact that you have three healthy kids is totally irrelevant to the fact that you lost your baby. I agree with Marie, you should maybe just keep away from her for awhile. I have a heck of a time looking at u/s scans right now, I think I would lose it if someone shoved one in my face, knowing what my dh and I have been through...
Last edited by cabin_dweller; 03-18-2008 at 04:27 PM.
I am so sorry you don't have the support you need. I understand about your sister. My sis is preggo as well. Her and I were 5 weeks apart. She found out the day that I lost the baby that she is having a girl. She is nowhere ready to be a mom. Her and her BF just got jobs, they don't have a place to live, ETC... Sometimes it just makes me just so upset.
When I lost my little boy, I moved to Germany the same week. My middle sister, Amy who is 6 years older then me, was honestly the worst. She's never been pregnant and doesn't have any children... yet she is a know-it-all type person. She gets on me for calling my son by his name, being upset when his EDD rolled around, told me I should "Get over it", and worst of all, "It's not like he was born." If i weren't in Germany, I would have beat her up myself honestly!
So, I feel your pain! (((HUGS))) and thoughts coming from me!
Thanks so much for all your support. Luckily she was not at my parents at the same time as me so I did not have to deal with it! Thank goodness
Originally Posted by cabin_dweller
Pointing out the fact that you have three healthy kids is totally irrelevant to the fact that you lost your baby.
She has the 3 kids not me (how I originally wrote it was confusing, edited it now to make more sense) - she points out that she smoked and drank with them and they are all healthy! She was just lucky. grrrrrr!!!!
Ah, I get it, thanks for the clarification. I hate that as well. A friend of mine was trying to get me to drink during my pg ("just a taste") which I was totally against. She went on to tell me that a friend of hers drank a glass of wine "everyday during her pg and her kids are BRILLIANT!"
Geez, that still doesn't make it right.
Ah, crap I'm just full of anger today!! lol
Last edited by cabin_dweller; 03-19-2008 at 11:31 AM.