Been Gone Too Long

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Joined: 07/10/05
Posts: 12
Been Gone Too Long

Thought I was past all this.....what I get for doing my own thinking I suppose! Well, bumps birthday is in a month and 16 days. I'm getting nervous. I know its gonna hurt, but I'm aprehensive about how I'm going to handle it. I've already arranged to be off work the 13th and the 15th. I know exactly how I'll react on the 15th, so I figured it best to lock myself in my room with her pictures and dwell on what I can't change all by my self. I can't believe its almost been a year. In one way its been the longest year of my life(having to wait to try again) and then its flew in another way! I've been a mother for 10 months...... Wow....think thats the first time i've thought of it that way..... Don't know what I'm doing here, just venting my fears and frustrations I guess.

There are so many new moms here, and most I'm sure don't know who I am, but I can tell you if you need support, you are in the right place. My own friends haven't stuck by me the way these women have, and I can say that I would drop everything and hop on a plane to where ever if one ever said they needed me.

My story is long and painful, and full of things that didn't have to be, so I won't go into it again. I just wanted to say that I know how strong everyone in this room is and I'm sorry we have to be this way.....

Joined: 11/19/05
Posts: 456

I am so sorry Sad ...I think taking off is smart....Do what you know is best for you :bighug: And know that we will all be right here for you on that day...

Oct 15th is national preg/infant loss awareness day (actually, the whole month represents it) I am gonna take part in lighting a candle at 7pm, with all the other moms, to remember all my little ones, with I am sure, many other women around the world...

This is something you may want to consider as well...while spending time with your daughter in your bedroom on that day...

I will be thinking of you..


Joined: 09/18/07
Posts: 371


So sorry to hear about your loss. I am glad you are able to take a few days off though. I think it is a good thing that you don't need this board as often as you used to. I guess it shows you are healing. It is good to know that you can come back to it and there will always be people on to send hugs.

Hugs to you.


shellyhudson's picture
Joined: 01/13/07
Posts: 814

I am so sorry for your loss. I know the pain and anger dealing with things that should not have happened. I have posted my story here. I think that you are doing the best thing for yourself by taking those days off. I have a long way to go before I make it to the one year mark. I wish you peace.


Uropachild's picture
Joined: 08/09/05
Posts: 1176

Hi Karen! Welcome back!


I missed you around, but i hoped that you were in a good place and i knew that you would pop by if you needed us.

I'm so sorry it still hurt, i know that Zane's birthday is in a few weeks too and that's going to be hard, especially now we have lost another so recently.


sweetpetunia's picture
Joined: 08/31/06
Posts: 76

Karen! I've been thinking about you and Nataly lately. I figured her b-day would be coming up soon. I don't make it here very much anymore but have lurked and posted a few times now that some of our members have had additional losses and are hurting all over again. There have been some recent anniversaries too.

I hope Nataly's birthday is not as hard as the anticipation of it is. Peter's turned out that way. :bigarmhug: It's good to hear from you and I hope your heart has healed, even just a little bit.