Birth Control and a little TMI

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cdokter's picture
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Birth Control and a little TMI

Due to the stress of loosing my baby, I can't handle the idea of getting pregnant for a while. In fact, ever since my cycle came back three weeks ago, I haven't been able to have sex with the hubby out of the panic of getting pregnant. TMI, but condoms just don't work for us. He's uncircumsized and we break them quite often. So, needless to say, a stressfull situation, is getting worse hwere so I've decided to go back on birth control. I hated the pills. The shot was too scary. So, I've settled on the nuvoring (sp?) but now I have to actually get it. With an incompetant family Dr that I refuse to see, that might be very hard. I'm in the middle of changing Drs (again, but this time by choice - long story) so I don't actually have one. I cannot have sex, I just can't, until I get some birth control. The ring takes seven days to be effective and I have to actually put it in so t could be weeks still. Someone shoot me now? I'm so tired of sex and baby related stress. Anyway, I just wanted to know if anyone had any experience with this type of birth control, or is in the same situation in the being afraid to get pregnant again. Or, if your in Edmonton, like I am, have any advice for getting a birth control perscription for the ring? Thanks ladies.

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Hugs hon.

I have used the nuvaring, and loved it!! I used it about 18mo or so ago, for about 6mo. It was easy to insert, and I loved not having to remember to take a pill every day. My only complaint was that I gained some weight on it, 5 lbs each month for the first 3mo. My doc was shocked by that, he said in studies this was a form of b/c that ppl did not gain weight on, I do not gain weight easily, so I know it was from that. I don't remember any terrible side effects and such either. He also said it is a lower hormone dose, because it is already in your cervix, and does not need to travel through the bloodstream to work, so lower hormone dose is always good.

I hope you can find peace and that the nuvaring works great until you are ready to try again.

shellyhudson's picture
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I have heard a lot of women say great things about the vaginal contraceptive films. Maybe you could get some of those until you are able to get the Nuvaring?

Just a thought. I hope you figure out what works best for you.

shelly

cdokter's picture
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I didn't even know such a thing existed. Thanks.

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Sorry, I have no experience with the nuvaring (and sit here trying to figure out what the heck "TMI" stands for!! -- I welcome anyone to puh-lease de-code it for me! Thanks!).

But I can totally relate to the reluctance to make love. Yeah, that's a psychological toughie, sweetheart. Fear is such a powerful emotion.

And I remember feeling so badly about it too, because ...well... poor DH, you know?! Honestly, he's the most patient man! I don't mean to generalize (or, Heaven forbid, sound like a throw-back to the pre-feminist era -- NOT!!), but... it's been clinically proven that physical intimacy is more important for men than women, in terms of emotional well being. That is, while women tend to need hugs and tenderness to feel loved, men tend to equate sexual contact with the feeling of being loved. So without it, they can feel unloved. A toughie for them too. Sigh. What to do?

Now at the risk of sounding vulgar (!), remember there are ....um... other ways of giving and receiving pleasure which don't call for birth control! To be honest, DH and I focused on these for a surprisingly long (and happy!) time till I was well and truly over the fear of getting pregnant again.

I better stop there, or I"ll turn into Dr. Ruth!

I wish you the best of luck and happiness with whatever choice(s) you make. And by the way, this fear you are feeling WILL pass. It will.

Cheers,
Nicole

"Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching"
-- Satchel Paige

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Nicole, TMI is Too Much Information. Smile

MrsSchepp's picture
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i used the nuva ring for quite a while and loved it!

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P.S. Oh HOW funny!!!

Thanks Rachel, for decoding TMI for me.

The irony made me laugh out loud: maybe my note above was TMI!!!!

Enough said....

cdokter's picture
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I didn't think it was TMI. I need all the help I can get, ya know...LoL...as for the men and sexual contact, it is true. And I am glad someone understands the guilt that goes along with not being able to provide for that need. We already have some issues that way becuase of some fun (note the sarcasm) scaring I have from a mystery infection I had as a teenager (being not sexually active as a teen, the specialist figures it could have been festering for years to cause the scaring I have - we thought it was endometriosis until the surgery ruled it out). On the plus side, I got my Dr. on a good day and got the ring this afternoon. There's one less thing I have to stress about. However, big suprise, I'm having mixed emotions about it too. I knda feel bad for being on BC. I know it's the right thing to do (heal emotionally and all that) but it also kinda feels like I'm glad to not have a baby. Of course, I'm not but still. People who fear pregnancy go on birth control. I was off it for two years before I got pregnant (becuase of above you can see why it took so long). Now, here I am, purposly trying not to get pregnant again while doing all the summer sports I wouldn't be able to do if I was pregnant and drinking tea like it's going out of style. It still feels wrong sometimes you know? But, like I said, I need to heal and I think this is the only way I'm going to be able to do that.

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Hugs hon. I can understand the mixed feelings about b/c, but you know what is best for you right now. Glad you got the ring, and at least have that to not worry about. Smile