Can I join in with you ladies? (miscarriage & ttc ment)

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Joined: 06/10/07
Posts: 1692
Can I join in with you ladies? (miscarriage & ttc ment)

Hi Everyone. My name is Julie (29) and last Monday the 24th I went in for a sonogram. I was supposed to be 9.5 weeks with a due date of Oct 26th and they found my baby measuring 6 weeks without a heartbeat. They ended up doing 3 sonograms. Wednesday I went in for a D&C and have been "recooperating" ever since - if that's what you can call it. I found it ironic that my due date was the 26th of Oct and they took my baby on March 26th.

My DH (35) and I have been trying to conceive religiously since Aug 06 and had even before then a bit as well. This is my first confirmed miscarriage although both my DH and I believe that I had one about a year and a half ago, especially after what the doc described would happen if I miscarriaged before surgery. My doctor also told me not to expect any results as I might not get much info back after having this surgery. We go back to meet with her this Thursday. I'm anxious that I'll forget to ask certain important questions. She felt that this might have just been a chromosomal issue and that "next time" things could be completely different. So many say that you are very fertile after a miscarriage but my doc said I shouldn't try again until after 3 regular menstrual cycles.

I think I'll have a lot of questions. So, I hope that is okay.

I'm so sorry to all of you for your losses. I'll read the rules of this board and jump in soon if that is okay.

Sorry that this is so long - thought I'd start somewhere...

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I am so sorry for your loss!

Christine
Jan 29, 2008 - D&C @ 9 weeks
min150mph's picture
Joined: 09/08/07
Posts: 72

I'm so sorry for your loss. I had a d&C and got an infection and spent several days in the hospital and had to have a 2nd D&C and because of that my doc suggested I'd wait 2 cycles. I guess each case is different, but I do think the risk might be higher if you had a D&C due to the scraping of your lining vs. a natural m/c, but you might want to check if 3 cycles is really necessary.

Joined: 12/17/07
Posts: 6

Hello
I am so sorry for your loss.....I , too had a D&C on Wednesday. So somewhere, someone was going through the exact same thing as me. I should have been 10 weeks on Monday and lost my little angel on Saturday. Same thing here, they said it never grew past 6 weeks. ( we saw it and HB 2 weeks ago). I was due on Oct 22. It would have been my 3rd child. My doctor told me to wait 2 cycles to try. I have heard conflicting reports from others on this subject. I think we will wait the 2 cycles. just to be safe. If you need to talk I am here. Melissa

healinghandz1's picture
Joined: 02/16/08
Posts: 32

:bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug:

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my little angel on March 18 at 12wks. This board has been a tremendous help to me. Everyone here knows your frustration and pain. Since my m/c I've become obsessed with TTC again. I've read every article I can find. I have bought every aid possible. That's how I'm dealing with my grief, everyone has there own way.

Joined: 11/19/05
Posts: 456

I am so sorry that you needed us...but glad that you found us..

I am so very sorry for the loss of your babies Sad

As far as the wait goes...Being an older mom (meaning, because I am old, lol..they were a bit more honest with me) , and ttc again...I was told by my reproductive endocronologist that the *3 months* that docs tell you to wait? That the other 2 are for emotional healing..Meaning...They believe that *you* need the time...AND, *they* don't want to deal with a woman that they feel has not had enough time to emotionally heal...What do I believe? I believe that that time is different for each woman...And that sometimes..as in my case....You just can't wait to be *healed* enough to ttc again due to old age..

Now, I am no doctor..I can only tell you what my RE told me...But as long as your losses were earlier on...*I* would say that you are good to go after a month...This is barring no testing is scheduled?? (I think you mentioned testing will be done on your 2nd confirmed loss) If your doctor thinks testing may be necessary. Depending on the results...I would wait...If results show nothing wrong with baby?? I would want more testing done on myself, and my dh..

Just something to think about :bighug:

Marie

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

My loss was at 15 weeks and my doc rec'd 3 cycles before TTC again. But he said in the same breath there was no reason to worry if I got pg again right away. We aren't planning to TTC anytime soon since the emotional fallout requires more recovery than merely three cycles. I think the amount of time to wait is more about emotional recovery than physical. I personally felt like I had to be able to withstand another miscarriage before I could allow myself to think about TTC.

I am so sorry for your loss.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Dear Julie,

You are very welcome here to this board -- it's filled with compassionate, beautiful people who are very supportive, and who all understand your thoughts, feelings, etc. Tragically, like yourself we have all 'been there'.

Got questions? Fire away, any time!

This is a place of healing, where you can just be yourself -- there's no need to put on a brave 'mask' -- people are very 'real' here. That's a big part of why this board is so effective in helping us move through our stages of grief, each in our own way.

My heartfelt condolences for your loss (I can relate; I lost an angel baby in exactly the same horrible, shocking way). It's very hard to determine the cause of loss so early in pregnancy, but 8 ~ 10 weeks is the most common time -- my ob/gyn told me this is the time when experts believe m/c's are caused by a blighted ovum (this sounds terribly blunt --- I'm sorry -- but when our egg is 'a dud'). The very good news is that these m/c's don't seem to be caused by anything that's physically wrong with either the mother of the father --i.e. it was just that single egg, not you or your husband, nor the rest of your many eggs remaining.

What's also good news, Julie, is that blighted ovums seem to happen (statistically) more with older women than with women as young as yourself. In other words, those of us who are older are at far greater risk of having another blighted ovum fertilised, compared to a younger woman such as yourself. So your odds are great -- that is, your odds of having a full term, successful pregnancy next time! I pray that you will.

Write in any time. We're here for you, and we care. Welcome to the board.

Great big cyber hugs to you,
Nicole

shellyhudson's picture
Joined: 01/13/07
Posts: 814

I am so very sorry for your loss.

Please post here anytime that you feel the need. I hope that you find the solace and support that I have from this board.

Shelly

EmmyG's picture
Joined: 02/03/08
Posts: 34

Welcome to this board. I'm sorry you have to be here, but I'm glad you've found us. I honestly don't think I could get through a single day without this haven.

I had a very similar experience earlier this month... my 8-wk u/s showed a 6-wk gestational/yolk sac and no fetal pole or heartbeat. I was scheduled for a D&C, but had a natural miscarriage two days before the surgery. I am also 29, and my dr. also told me to wait for 3 spontaneous periods before trying again.

I agree with all of the PPs that the odds are in your (and my!) favor regarding the chances of your next pregnancy being a full-term one. Your doctor can advise you on when your body will be physically ready, but only you can know when you are emotionally ready. I hope this board helps you heal, and helps you find the answers you are looking for.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I'm so sorry for your loss.
I had a natural m/c at 8 weeks after having 2 normal ultrasounds. My doc said I could start TTC after my next AF, but I decided to wait because I was struggling emotionally. It's been 2 months, and I'm feeling much better.
I hope your doctor is able to answer all your questions.
((HUGS))

nurseapril's picture
Joined: 01/25/07
Posts: 48

I am so sorry for your losses. After my son, Lance, passed during labor, we were told 1 year by some midwives, 6 months by one doctor and 3 months by another doctor. We ended up waiting 3 (almost 4) months when I got pregnant again. Sadly on March 10 (8 weeks) we found that this baby had no heartbeat only after seeing one a week earlier. Our doctor told us that she would recommend waiting 1 cycle for us to try again but also told us that wasn't completely necessary. They like to have it to help with dating the pregnancy the next time. We have decided to wait at least one cycle since I have to go through some blood work. You really have to listen to what everyone has to say and then sort it out and figure out what you need.

April

StephanieJune's picture
Joined: 01/19/08
Posts: 103

:bighug: I am sorry for your loss. I agree with PP. I think that when a doctor says to wait for one month, it is to allow your body to heal physically, and also for dating purposes. When a doctor says to wait 2 or more months, it is because he or she wants you to have time to heal emotionally. Depending on how old you are, I would wait as long as you feel you need to wait until you can handle the emotions of pregnancy after loss.

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