Chat Thread-Possible LO MC PG TTC Mentioned

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SparkleMomma's picture
Joined: 04/24/02
Posts: 648
Chat Thread-Possible LO MC PG TTC Mentioned

Thought maybe we could start one here, like on most of the other boards. Some days I just wanna talk, but feel there is no real need to start a whole new thread each time, if that makes sense Smile

Anyways, how are you all doing today? Has the week started off good thus far? For me, ya, not too bad Biggrin I planned a retirement party for one of my office colleagues and it was yesterday. It went really well and she had a fantastic time! I wa sos worried, because I have been here only 3.5 years and she has been for 26.5 years!! Wow!

Today, eh, blah. Work as usual. I hate cancer. Makes me so sad. My grampa is back in the hospital here and I will be running over in a bit to check up on him. Other than that, I'm boring!

Diane

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Awesome idea!!!

Just watch the siggies!

kerina313's picture
Joined: 09/10/05
Posts: 60

had a very sad day yesterday... my parents finally left and with not a lot of sleep (insomnia sucks) I was very sad about what happened 2 weeks ago. Hard to believe it's been that long already...

Today.. better.. actually got some sleep.. DH took DD out and about this morning and I finally got some organizing done in our room.. YEA! I'm still recovering from surgery so it took longer than I thought it would.. but I feel good that I got it done.

Now I need to organize another couple of rooms and get rid of some stuff Biggrin

Joined: 05/12/09
Posts: 86

kinda good, kinda bad day...
School is just about finished for the year, so I get a break. Finally, I can stop pushing and actually just breath for a little while. Take a little space for me. And I won't see the baby's father around campus, which I think will help.
Just found out that I cannot go to the Congo with Medicins sans Frontieres, which I was supposed to this summer. I really wanted to go, and it is very difficult to secure a position as a student, you basically have to go on another physician's license. But apparently I'm "not healthy enough" to go, surgery in the past three months. Sucks, I really wanted to go, I thought it would help take my mind off things, and if nothing else it is a really good experiance. Oh well.
Good day because I just got a job at the school's genetics lab for the summer, which pays and is interesting work. Plus this year I get undergraduates to boss around, that should be fun.
I'm thinking about getting another kitten. A friend of mine just rescued a momma cat and kittens. I'm allowed one more than the current number of cats I have, and they are soooo cute. And I want something to nuture.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Kerina, they a nice hot bath with Lavender bath salts. The smell is very calming, also try some tea.

SparkleMomma's picture
Joined: 04/24/02
Posts: 648

Mohee, sorry you can't go on the trip. It would have been a nice distraction, but perhaps you and DH can spend some comfort time together?

I am getting a little peeved at my OB because they are not calling me back after having to go through a whole whack of bloodwork. It is really tiring and I feel like giving up most days.

Holly_Anne618's picture
Joined: 04/03/07
Posts: 1271

Hi girls! This is a nice idea and hopefully it will help us get to know each other more as well. I'm doing alright today. I'm sorting through the girls' clothes to try to get ready for a rummage sale. It's hard to decide what to keep in case we are blessed with another little one.

It's been 2 weeks since my second S&C and surprisingly I feel really good. I go for a follow-up tomorrow and am going to ask a lot of questions. I have a lot of things going through my mind but the biggest one right now is that instead of waiting around for AF like I am, I should be TTC again. They screwed up and caused me to have a second surgery and I can't help but blame them a little bit. I know it happened for a reason, as does everything in life, but it's just frustrating.

Anyway, hope you're all having a good day.

Joined: 05/12/09
Posts: 86

I don't actually have a DH. My boyfriend and I broke up shortly after my d&c. Actually, right before, then he stayed around and was supportive for about a day, and then he decided I had been lying about having been pregnant and walked away. So no comfort time with him.
I decided to get one of the kittens, as soon as they are weaned. They're really sweet, pure white with big blue eyes, although those will probably change with age. They are sooo adorable, and I need a distraction right now.

girlisrad's picture
Joined: 04/24/07
Posts: 1587

Holly I PM'd you! Hope thats ok!

Holly_Anne618's picture
Joined: 04/03/07
Posts: 1271

Thanks Joee! There's a lot of good info there...seems like I may have a few more weeks before AF arrives though Sad

Holly_Anne618's picture
Joined: 04/03/07
Posts: 1271

"moheesviolin" wrote:

I don't actually have a DH. My boyfriend and I broke up shortly after my d&c. Actually, right before, then he stayed around and was supportive for about a day, and then he decided I had been lying about having been pregnant and walked away. So no comfort time with him.
I decided to get one of the kittens, as soon as they are weaned. They're really sweet, pure white with big blue eyes, although those will probably change with age. They are sooo adorable, and I need a distraction right now.

The kittens sound adorable!! I hope he or she helps you heal a little bit. Cute, cuddly animals sure do that for me Biggrin

kerina313's picture
Joined: 09/10/05
Posts: 60

having blue periods again.. insomnia... this totally sucks.. DD wants to be with me almost ALL the time and even if I get some alone time.. I don't end up letting it out... don't really know what to do anymore..

Can't take baths at the moment - had a c-section - dr said "no sitting in water"... which also means no swimming at the moment...have 3 or so more weeks of that..

Joined: 05/12/09
Posts: 86

I love cats, have always had them where ever I've lived. Even (illegally) in my dorm in college. They are a real comfort, and those kittens need a home and I need a distraction. Just have to get my other kitties used to the idea of sharing.:rolleyes: They'll adjust.
Hope your appointment goes well Holly, and I hope you get the answers you want.

SparkleMomma's picture
Joined: 04/24/02
Posts: 648

Oh Mohee, I am so sorry about your ex. I can totally relate and I don't understand how guys can be/think like that.

You need to post a pic of your kitty for us all to fall in love with!

I am having a blah day. June 4th was the 5th year anni of my 3rd PG loss and although I knew what day it was then, I tried to make the best of it but I do feel bad that I didn't "grieve" as much as I think I should have. Does that make sense?

Holly_Anne618's picture
Joined: 04/03/07
Posts: 1271

"SparkleMomma" wrote:

I am having a blah day. June 4th was the 5th year anni of my 3rd PG loss and although I knew what day it was then, I tried to make the best of it but I do feel bad that I didn't "grieve" as much as I think I should have. Does that make sense?

:bigarmhug: Yes, that makes perfect sense. I feel like that a lot...like I should still be grieving HARD!! I still miss my baby every single day, but it has gotten a little easier with time. We know what you mean, and we know you still miss your Lo deeply. *hugs*

As for me, I just got home from my appointment with the doctor. It wasn't a bad appointment, but wasn't great either Sad She asked if I was still bleeding, and I told her to be honest I'm not sure if it's old, old blood or brown-tinged CM. She said that until it's gone for 7 days that we can't DTD. But she did say once it's gone we can w/protection and that once AF returns we can start trying again. She told me she hopes to see me back in her office by the end of the summer, so we'll see!

She asked if my periods were regular, and I explained to her what they were like right before I got pregnant. She said that they weren't regular and gave me a card to keep track of them (I'll just keep track on FF) and if I don't have a regular period after 3 months to go back in and she'll check to see what's going on.

We also talked about temping and I asked about my pre-O temps and if they were "normal." We talked about how low they are pre-O and then what they are after and she said they are normal, and as long as I'm having that temp jump after O I should be alright. She also talked about the changes in CM during and after O too, so hopefully everything will work out and once AF returns I'll get another BFP. I'm trying to be optimistic.

I also decided to ask if they were able to tell what the gender was. It's been bugging me a lot lately She said that it was too early...had it been another week or so later then they *might* have been able to tell. I'm glad I asked because now I can stop pestering myself about wondering if they could tell. I still wish they knew...it would help bring more closer.

Joined: 05/12/09
Posts: 86

What I don't understand about my ex is how he could hurt someone so badly. By nature I'm a kind person, I do my best to help where ever I can. I see someone that is hurting, physically or emotionally, and I try my hardest to help. Whatever I think of that person, like them or not, know them or not, care about them at all or not, if I'm exhausted, tired, scared, angry, it is insignificant. It doesn't matter because at that point it isn't about me. It's about whoever it is that is hurting. You see someone who is hurt and you do your damnest to help. That isn't extrordinary, that qualifies you as human being. Maybe that sounds incredibly naive, but I've been hurt badly before and I still believe it. I don't know that I am capable of deliberatly doing something that I know will hurt someone I don't even know. I don't understand how he could hurt someone he at least once cared for.

Holly, I'm sorry you couldn't find out the gender of your LO. I feel almost like I cheated by getting the genetic analysis done. I got to know the gender and physical traits. I don't really know if that helped or made it worse. I hope things improve for you soon, and you get your AF.

I'll post pictures of the kitty soon!

Holly_Anne618's picture
Joined: 04/03/07
Posts: 1271

Yay! I can't wait to see pics of the kitties! Do you have a name for yours yet?

I guess it's better that I didn't find out the gender. If it turned out to be a boy, and we have another girl next time I know DH will be a little disappointed. He'll be happy for a healthy little baby, but a part of him is really hoping for a little boy. Me, on the other hand, I just want a healthy little bub to love on!

I'm really sorry you're ex is acting this way. You sound like a very kind, caring person, and I think you are!! Especially making total strangers memory bracelets for our LOs. I hope he realizes that how he is treating you is completely uncalled for. We're here for you though Smile

sunnycrest's picture
Joined: 11/13/05
Posts: 57

Hugs everyone.

I have had a week away with family and friends at the beach. It was just what i needed. I have our appointment tomorrow to get all our test results. Am feeling quite nervous as i know it will be upsetting, but i will be glad when it is over and we know all we can and try and move on. It has been 2 months now and it seems like this limbo waiting for this appointment has taken forever.

Have a good week everyone.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Good luck Sunny!

Holly_Anne618's picture
Joined: 04/03/07
Posts: 1271

Good luck tomorrow Sunny :bigarmhug: You'll be in my thoughts and prayers...

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

How is everyone on thsi fine MOnday!

Holly_Anne618's picture
Joined: 04/03/07
Posts: 1271

I'm actually excited to feel PMS like Yahoo I've been bloated, super crampy, and had the sorest boobs ever. I've also been done bleeding and spotting for 2 days now!! WooHoo!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Yay!!
Here is the AF! :drunk::drunk:

Holly_Anne618's picture
Joined: 04/03/07
Posts: 1271

Haha ROFL

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.
- Winston Churchill

I know there are days when it seems easier to stay in bed and cover your head. The most courageous thing you can do is throw back the covers and put your foot on the floor.

SparkleMomma's picture
Joined: 04/24/02
Posts: 648

Very true Missy! And Yahoo Holly! So funny to be happy about AF, isn't it?!

Diane

Joined: 05/12/09
Posts: 86

Yay Holly! I never liked AFs, but it's different when it means your body is getting back to normal!

I like that quote missy, it's going in my quote book. Southern California weather in June doesn't help with the getting out of bed. June is gray and cloudy, and what passes for cold around here (I hear everyone else giggling. I know it's not actually COLD, I used to live in Minnesota, I know what cold is. But it is all cloudy and gray.).

Picked up my kitten today! I love her, so sweet and adorable! She is going to end up incredibly spoiled. I'll post a picture as soon as she holds still long enough for me to take one, and once I figure out how to post a picture (help anyone?).

girlisrad's picture
Joined: 04/24/07
Posts: 1587

"moheesviolin" wrote:

I like that quote missy, it's going in my quote book. Southern California weather in June doesn't help with the getting out of bed. June is gray and cloudy, and what passes for cold around here (I hear everyone else giggling. I know it's not actually COLD, I used to live in Minnesota, I know what cold is. But it is all cloudy and gray.).

).

I know what you mean! I am from San Diego (El Cajon, specifically)... I miss that forecast... Late night early morning low clouds and fog clearing in the afternoon... high around 68! LOLOLOL!!!

Holly, so glad AF is on her way! I cant even imagine what a relief that must be, after all you have gone through!

That is a great quote!

Holly_Anne618's picture
Joined: 04/03/07
Posts: 1271

Thanks girls! I just hope it's sooner rather than later. I've been so crampy...it's insane!

I had a good cry last night. Mine and DHs anniversary is on Thursday ( 6.18 ) and that is when we would have had our 20 week u/s. I just broke down in tears last night because it's so frustrating. I miss being pregnant...I miss my baby. I just wish that none of us had to be here. It's so hard Sad

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Hugs Holly, sometimes a good cry is healing. I got my AF two days early, so I am sending AF vibes your way! (gotta love what stress does to your body.)

LOL! I am in NY and it has been nice and sunny today. We are usually the ones with dark clouds. But, I do agree that the weather has a lot to play on our mood. My mom gets SAD (Seasional Effective Disorder) though she is good at ignoring it.

I want to see kitty pictures by the end of the day!!!

Holly_Anne618's picture
Joined: 04/03/07
Posts: 1271

Thanks Missy! I'm waiting for her w/open arms!!

I agree, I wanna see kitty pics too!

Joined: 05/12/09
Posts: 86

Here's the kitty!

And someone needs to learn that she is NOT allowed on the piano!

Joined: 05/12/09
Posts: 86

okay, that didn't work.....

my kitten

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

OMG, she is cute. I want to scoop her up and cuddle with her. Get some cat nip, it is funny to watch them when they get high! LOL!

Joined: 05/12/09
Posts: 86

Isn't she adorable! I have catnip bubbles, its a non-toxic bubble solution with catnip in it, so you blow bubbles with it. It is hysterical watching them try and catch the bubbles!
I acutally like cool, rainy, gray weather. I just don't want to get out of bed in it. Don't ask why I'm in LA. I've lived in Seattle, want to move back there as soon as I'm done with school. Crazy Seattleite who actually enjoys rain.

kerina313's picture
Joined: 09/10/05
Posts: 60

she is adorable! If I didn't already have 2 older cats - I'd definitely think of getting a kitten.

I used to live in LA.. remember the sunny and rainy seasons Smile Lived there through the riots, mudslides, fires, and earthquakes - and most importantly - SMOG

Now I live in a farming community..

Apparently I'm surpressing emotions - as they're croping up as other issues. Nothing like waking up early to intense stomach pain - TG for saltines

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I have always said that I wish cat nip did the same for me as it does for the cat. Life would be much easier stoned sometimes. LOL, just kidding. I have a cat nip video that I play for one of the cats. It has mice and birds moveing around. he will sit there for 45 minutes jumping and pawing at the TV. It is funny and I put it in when I am sad. It makes me laugh so hard I end up crying. Animals are so awesome.

m/c ment.

I came home from my first D&C and went to bed. At the time we only had two cats. The would take turns coming and sitting with me for the first two days, I lost a lot of blood and was sick. They would sleep on my tummy. One would leave go down the stair and meow. Withing 2 minutes the other cat would show up and climb on my tummy. DH was not around, (soon to be ex) but the girls took such good care of me.

Joined: 05/12/09
Posts: 86

Do you have a hot water bottle or a heating pad? That always helps me with stomach cramps. And peppermint tea is supposed to be really soothing.

I love my cats, I think they are one of the things that have kept me sane and functioning through this. They know when I need a little love and they'll just come up and snuggle. It's really hard to be in a bad mood when you have a cat sitting next to you purring his head off. They don't judge, they don't say stupid hurtful things thinking that they are helping. They are simply there. I think humans could stand to take a lesson from them. Their simple love and simple demands make the dark days a little easier. And having a little one running around acting like a typical crazy kitten makes me laugh. A friend found the litter and momma cat, it's kitten season here and the shealters are all full of cats. I wasn't planning on another cat, but she needed a home and I need something to love on.

d&c ment

I had a really hard time after my d&c. I don't react well with sedatives and anesthesia, so I got home and spent the next 6 hours curled on the bathroom floor retching. The only time I got off the floor was to let me ex in; he was brining me maxi pads, pretty much the only kind thing he did. The cats stayed with me, crammed into my little bathroom. That was a Thursday, and the Saturday after I was typical me and was pushing too hard. I was baby sitting a friend's child, something I didn't want to do, but the child is special needs and my friend trusts very few people with her. Right when I left I started bleeding a LOT, had to drive myself in to the ER. Ended up there was a tear right on the fallopian tube which bleeds like nuts. My obgyn decided that we could wait a little, try some hormone therapy and see if it would close on its own, but if it didn't I would have to get a salpingo-oophorectomy. Ended up losing the tube and the ovary. That sucks, I'm young and that's half my fertility. I only shared with a few friends IRL, it seems like this subject makes people really uncomfortable and they end up saying some really stupid things. I like how they cats react. They just sit next to you and stay with you. I wish people could figure that out.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Sending hugs and prayers. KUP.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Did everyone make it through father's day?

Holly_Anne618's picture
Joined: 04/03/07
Posts: 1271

I actually got a present for Father's Day....my period Yahoo My DH enjoyed spending time with the girls and his family.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Having a tough time again. June 18th was two years since my first lost at 16 weeks. I had to deliver my precious baby girl. Well the day came and went and I was surprisingly calm or numb. Well I woke up today with a very bad panic attack and just cried through out taking my shower. I called DH to come home from classes early today, he said he couldn't. I have my nephew here with me so at least I am staying alittle busy, but I really would just like to go back to bed and sleep. I don't know if I am sad because the day came and went and I feel guilty for not crying or remembering her. I feel like I remember her everyday and that going to the memorial wall at the hospital was not a big deal, now I feel like I just forgot about her. DH said we will take flowers to the memorial tonight and that it is alright to feel sad and miss her again. I am not sure if that is what I am feeling or not. I am just sad and angry that it has been two years since her lost and I have had two additional losses since and still no baby. I just want to know when will it be my turn? We have been trying since 2005 and have spent a ton of money on IVF and other things and I get pregnant but I just can't carry them. I feel defective.

Holly_Anne618's picture
Joined: 04/03/07
Posts: 1271

:bigarmhug:

Joined: 05/12/09
Posts: 86

You're not defective, and you shouldn't feel that way. What will happen will happen sometime for you, and you'll get you're little love bug.
:bighug:

I worked on Sunday, just to distract myself. A very small, mean, petty part of myself thought it would be amusing to send flowers and a ballon saying "It's a girl!" to the addy of the baby's father. The kinder, more humane part of me won out, and I didn't. The mean part of me is still considering doing it on the EDD.
Instead I worked, then played with the kitten, who is driving the other cats up the walls. She's sooo cute, and she sleeps on my feet. If I could only teach her not to pounce on them every time I shift position in my sleep...

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

:bigarmhug: to all!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

You ladies are the greatest and strongest women in the world. I am so thankful that I have a place to post and not be judged, you encourage me to keep going.

Hugs to all.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Good things come to those who wait.

Is it freaking hot where you live? We are near the 90's!

SparkleMomma's picture
Joined: 04/24/02
Posts: 648

So true Missy! And no, it's not too hot here, but I must say that whenever I see the temp written in F, I think Holy! How are you not melting! {We use Celcius here!} It's supposed to get to 25 here and that is perfect for me!

Diane

Joined: 05/12/09
Posts: 86

LA's "June Gloom" seems to have gone away. We're up in the 90s bright and sunny. Time to hit the beach! Not to mention turn my AC on.

I don't think anyone who has not gone through the hurt has any call to judge. Those that do judge are stepping out of place. Grief has no expiration date, neither does love.

Holly_Anne618's picture
Joined: 04/03/07
Posts: 1271

I agree with you mohee....until I went through my loss, I just didn't really understand the hurt and the pain, and how long the grieving does last. I am thankful that you women are here to help me when I need, but also so sad that any of us need to be here.

It's hot here. not sure what the temp is right now, but yesterday was in the upper 90's. (child ment) We set up the girls' pool and they swam for 2 hours, and then we took them to the park. They are little red heads (take after Daddy), so they burn easily. I put a lot of sunscreen on before going out, but they're still pretty pink. Go figure!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

It only got to 87 F today here in Delaware, but they are expecting a thunderstorm sometime tonight. I am so glad we got new air conditioning last year, it feels so good.

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