D&C or Natural M/C?---UPDATED AT BOTTOM WITH DECISION
I have a question on D&C verses Natural M/C, I hope this is not offesive to anyone, therefore I wanted to state this first just in case so you can stop reading now if you think it might be...
M/C is bad enough just to know it is happening and that we are lossing our babies. If you know it going to happen and you were given the choice, would you go with D&C or let Natural M/C happen? I was given this choice yesterday and declinded the D&C, but now am questioning my decision. Just wanted to get others opinions.
I had a natural m/c. I am the type that leans towards letting the body take care of things in most situations, but in my particular case, I would do things differently if I could go back.
My biggest questions would be (1) how far along were you? and (2) would your doctor be willing to hospitalize you for it? I had mine at home at 13 weeks and it was a very difficult process both physically and emotionally for my husband and I. I think it wouldn't have been so bad if I had had medical attention (someone other than my husband to deliver the baby) and/or if it hadn't been so far along.
From what I understand when you're only a few weeks along, it's like having a heavy period. Also, my MIL told me that she was hospitalized for hers (she had it naturally as well) and having that support made it alot easier. Just a couple of things to consider.
If there are any questions I might help you with, please pm me. Whatever you decide, I hope it goes as easily as possible for you.
Edited to say: I reread your post on PAL and since you were 8-9 weeks, I think I would either have the D&C or see if you can be hospitalized to deliver. I don't want to upset anyone by my description, but I think it's important for you to know:
at that point the baby would probably be recognizable as a baby (mine was 10 weeks developed and looked like a baby which I didn't expect). Also, being at home, we were instructed to save the "products of conception" and take them to the hospital. Not only would a hospital delivery save you that difficulty, it's my understanding that testing, if you're getting any done, should be performed asap and that way it would already be there and they could start immediately tyring to find out what went wrong.
I chose a D&C. I had it one week after the fetal death was confirmed. I was 12 weeks 1 day but the fetal growth had stopped around 8 weeks and only measured 6 weeks 4 days when caught (I know it stopped around weeks 8-9 as I had an ultrasound at 7.5w that showed a heart beat and properly growing baby.) So that means that I carried around a dead baby for at least 4 weeks with my body not showing any signs that something was wrong. I had a little complication the night after, (some retained tissue) which sent me to the ER in a panic. Even though I had the D&C to take out most of everything, the little that remained was A LOT of blood and emotionally too much for me to handle. If I had to do it again, and I pray to GOD I dont, I would still have the D&C.
I'm sorry for your loss I've had both a "natural" m/c and a d/c. I just had the d/c today in fact. Looking back I would definately do the d/c again, it was painless, I'm in no pain currently and it was better for me for closure reasons. I waited four weeks for my "natural" m/c, it was a horrible month, it felt like torture. When it finally happened it wasn't too painful physically, a lot of bleeding, a bit frightening.
My loss occurred at 11 weeks and I tried to m/c naturally but wouldn't do it that way again. The waiting was difficult. I was afraid to go anywhere in fear of major bleeding while not at home. It took two weeks from the time I found out I would miscarry for it to actually start. I had major bleeding but pain was manageable. Just when I thought it was over, it started again and the bleeding just didn't stop. We had to go to the ER and have an ultrasound. I bled through my clothes walking into the hospital. It was awful. The ultrasound showed that I had not passed all the tissue so ended up having a D&E that night. I almost passed out a couple times and was so scared I would bleed to death. If I could do it over again I would have had the D&E right away. So sorry for your loss.
I just want to say that I'm really sorry for your loss and share what little i know from experience.
I lost my Liam at 12wks2days. My doctor didn't give me a choice and perfomed the d&c the same day. (I found out about the nat. m/c option after I started to talk to ladies here). Overall it was really painless (physically) and there was very little bleeding. I think it kinda made it harder for me to accept because it seemed like I was still pregnant (I didn't get my period back for 3 months... that kinda threw me off).
If I had a choice, I think I might have liked to try natural... I've heard it can be kinda painful and scary, maybe even tramatizing(depending on how far along you are). But I really would have liked a chance to say goodbye to my baby.. just to see him once. I know he would have looked like a baby...and I could have quite possibly known for sure whether he was a boy or not.
It seems as though it would have been more real to me. ...and after my d&c I could help but thinking of what had happened to his poor little body. (I know it wouldn't have been whole... and I've no idea what they do with the "products of conception"...but I'm sure they don't treat them like babies or with any respect.)
I'm really sorry if any of this was too much information... or too graphic.
I want you do know that I'm really sorry you're even having to make this decision...no one should ever have to.