On this day last year I was in hospital. I can remember everything like it was yesterday and even though I have been blessed with the birth of my son in December I still feel the emotional pain of loosing my first baby.
I was so happy to find out I was pregnant and told everyone then just 5 weeks after I found out I lost my baby. S/he had died at 6 weeks and I had carried them for another 5 weeks.
I knew something was wrong but it wasn't until the 21st January last year, when I saw the ultrasound and there was no HB that I believed it. I sat there in the room looking at the screan with DH and the ultrasound tech left us so we could look at our baby and cry. I still cry now wondering the "what if's" and I feel all sorts of emotions..if my baby hadn't died then I would never have known my DS.
I went home that night and misscarried at home quietly with DH with me.
I tell DS often about his big brother/sister, I don't want to keep it from him. I miss my baby every day.
I'm so happy to have had the support of everyone here. It's just sad that the grief and loss boards have to be here.
Hugs to you.....I too lost one angel after seeing the heartbeat, it is the hardest thing in the world to have to go through. We also are enjoying our DD, born in Sept'08, but I'm always wondering what would have been....we'd have a two year old now, but they're up in heaven with God and that's the best place to be if they're not here with us... hugs