Dealing with people (m/c ment)

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girl0007's picture
Joined: 08/18/07
Posts: 38
Dealing with people (m/c ment)

Hello, I haven't posted here before I didn't know there was such a board. I had a m/c 3 weeks ago. It was my first pregnancy. I'm still working through my feelings but I'm doing a little better everyday.

I just wanted to tell someone about what happened to me that would understand. Yesterday I went to get blood work done to check my beta levels since I had a m/c. I filled out the paperwork and then she said you will have to fill this out too and hands me a piece of paper. On it it asks for my EDD, how far along I am, If this is my first pregnancy, etc... I look at the lady and tell her that I had a m/c. It was like she didn't believe me or something because then she asks me why my doctor would be requesting prenatal work done then. I said that I didn't know. Needless to say I was very upset by having to go through this. Why can't they write on the paper that I had a m/c so I wouldn't have to go through that. She didn't even apologize even if she asked that without knowing it would have been nice for her to apologize. Thanks for letting me vent.

Joined: 12/01/05
Posts: 1000

I'm so sorry for your loss. People can be really insensitive sometimes, even if they don't mean to be. I'm glad you found this board. The ladies here are very supportive.

Joined: 11/19/05
Posts: 456

I am so sorry for your loss :comfort:

She should have known better (meaning, that there are other reason for that blood test being done) ....Most times, doc's will follow your beta back down to normal range....This is the reason for beta tests being done after a loss..

Prior to seeing your doc again....Call and ask that they do not schedule your appt with others that are having pregnancy appts at the same time....Ask that you be scheduled with women that are having general health check ups, unrelated to pregnancy.

Also, when you have your appt.....Have them right down that your appt. is a follow up due to a pregnancy this may help...

You will find lots of support the women on this board are so caring, who can truly have an understanding of the grief/loss you are experiencing...


Joined: 01/12/06
Posts: 61

People really can be insensitive. When I went to get bloodwork done the day before my d/c the nurse who was filling out my information on the computer said "And why are you here?" I agree they should put miscarriage or d/c or something in big letters on our files. Oh also, I went for a check-up 10 days after my d/c and the nurse at the doctors office asked when was my last period. Look at my file, I had a miscarriage 10 days ago. Just insensitive but I guess we all experience it.


newbie2all's picture
Joined: 02/02/07
Posts: 93

After my first loss I had a D/C and when being registered at the hospital administration the clerk said "so it's an abortion". I could have killed her right on the spot.

I also had a friend that thought she was being helpful who sent me an invite to participate in a prenatal research session for community health. Granted it was for people planning to get pregnant in the next 12 months, already pregnant or new moms. So I guess her intent was good. But what they heck would make her think I'd wanna go sit and talk about new babies with a bunch of oblivious pregnant women (as guaranteed they would be the majority at the session).

We can't escape these kind of things and truly it's unfair. But with healthcare today I have even seen a woman who's husband died in a horrific tragedy get a phone call weeks later to schedule him for an appointment. I sympathize that healthcare workers are busy but come on... open the damn charts and record it!

Joined: 03/20/07
Posts: 36

So sorry for your loss. I also had a similar experience. After one of my m/c's, I had to go in for beta results to make sure my levels were returning to normal and the lab tech asked "so, do you want it to be positive or negative". I was stunned. I didn't know what to say. I wish I could go back and say, "I already know it's negative, maybe you shouldn't be asking that question." I just walked out instead, giving her a very bad look. She probably had no idea. Sometimes they just don't know and it's not anywhere on the paperwork. It should be known in these cases. Take care hun.

Joined: 01/25/02
Posts: 2023

hugs hon. I am so sorry for your loss, and the receptionist should have said sorry. I would say something to your doc about it. Man, I cannot believe how insensitive ppl can be. I had my bloodwork done at the hospital (cause my stupid insurance won't use the lab my doc's office does), but no one there asked me any questions about my appt. At the u/s appts when they asked how far along I was and such (my d&c pre op appt) I made sure to say, "I SHOULD be __ wks along". But I am thinking they were just asking for the knowledge needed before conducting u/s, etc.

This board has been great for me to talk about all these things with ppl that understand more where I am coming from. Hugs!

girl0007's picture
Joined: 08/18/07
Posts: 38

Thank you ladies. :openarms:
Sometimes people just want me to ignore that it was an up setting situation. It makes me feel better knowing that my feelings are valid.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Your feelings are more than valid. Unfortuantely you are realizing that the world is not very sensitive when it comes to pregnancy loss. Even if that receptionist made the error of giving you the paperwork, after you told her you had a m/c she should have just offered a bit of sympathy, and then behind the scenes investigated the reasoning for the bloodwork.

I am sorry you had to deal with that. :bighug: