Dec. 17th -- I need cyber-hugs

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Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852
Dec. 17th -- I need cyber-hugs

Today is the anniversary of the worst day in my life. I went for my routine u/s in 2002, blissfully unaware that our Alex had passed away (on Dec. 11th). I still 'felt pregnant', etc -- but I didn't know that I'd had a "missed m/c" 6 days before. There had been no signs that anything was wrong.

I'll never forget when my "world" came violently crashing down on me in the ob/gyn's office. Alex was our first angel-baby, so I had no expectation that anything coud have gone wrong. I entered that office, happy and totally in love with my little baby. I came out absolutely shattered: devastated, heart broken and suddenly thrown into agonising grief, with the doctor's words echoing in my mind: "I can't seem to find the baby's heartbeat".

And I was also in full "wishful thinking" denial, partially fueled by the doctor's suggestion that I come back in a week's time, if there was no change to my condition. You see, when I said "Are you sure?", he said "We can do another u/s in a week, to see how it's all going."

Needless to say, I don't see that ob/gyn anymore.

Anyway, thanks for reading. Your hugs would be very much appreciated today.


Joined: 01/25/02
Posts: 2023

Hugs Nicole. I'm sorry hon. Yes, the first loss is terribly hard, because you are not expecting it. Sad

Joined: 03/16/15
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beckastar's picture
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CamelNoodle's picture
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:giveflower: :bigarmhug:

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Sap0928's picture
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:bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug:


shellyhudson's picture
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:bigarmhug: :bigarmhug: :bigarmhug:

I wish I could do more.

deborah74's picture
Joined: 12/14/05
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i'm sorry