Sorry in advance for the pity party.
Today in the mail was a bill for part of the services that I had done for the baby - the early bloodwork. The insurance won't pay for it. It's not like I asked for them to do it, either. I told my OB that I had a previous m/c, and he recommended the bloodwork. It's only $29, but just the thought of having to pay something for this baby that the insurance thought 'wasn't necessary' - of COURSE it was a good idea to do it! Sure, it didn't turn up any problems, but I lost the baby! Obviously there was just cause to do extra testing for this pregnancy.
Then, on top of that, there was also a catalog for baby toys that came in the mail today. I guess it's about time for them to start sending me those things for my first pregnancy (due in January/February). Is this just the beginning? I've heard of women getting samples, and coupons, and all sorts of stuff in the mail after a loss. It's hard.
I'm drowning my sorrows with Halloween chocolate and instant macaroni and cheese. This is NOT how I usually eat (in fact, we had to make special grocery store runs b/c we don't keep that kind of stuff in our house), but I suppose I could be doing worse. I'll feel better tomorrow, I'm sure.