DH's reaction

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squirlyj's picture
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DH's reaction

Hi all,

I'm having a really hard time dealing with DH right now. He is dealing with this by trying to control everything and getting very mad at me all the time. He keeps calling everyone in his family trying to get their, and everyone they know's opinion on my situation, then tries to bully me into doing what the in-laws have agreed I should do.

He wants me to harass my doctor until he gets a OB's opinion on the ectopic possibility. My doctor has already examined me, ordered blood tests, and consulted with a radiologist (doctor) that specializes in obstetrics and is highly regarded in the medical community (he read my ultrasound). I don't think it gets better than that.

I'm comfortable with the doctor's (and radiologist's) opinion and course of action. I don't want to ruin my relationship with my doc over this.

Finally yesterday I was so fed up with it all that I wrote a curt (but not mean) email to DH, his brother and parents telling them that I didn't believe that my 'personal medical condition and care are an appropriate topic for family conversation'. I asked them to 'please respect my privacy during this difficult time'. I also said that I would personally email them any important news, so they need not ask me about it, and I asked them not to discuss or share the info I give them.

DH is really mad. He says he doesn't know if he can have more kids or stay married to me because he doesn't trust me. He blames me for lying to him and keeping info from him. It's not true, but he never listens to what I say them blames me for not telling him in the first place.

:help1: I really can't deal with him any more. I just needed to get that off my chest.

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I am so sorry you are having a terrible time. I agree that this is between you and your husband, his family should not be giving advice. I hope you guys can work through this.

Robin

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Last seen: 7 years 11 months ago
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"squirlyj" wrote:

Hi all,

I'm having a really hard time dealing with DH right now. He is dealing with this by trying to control everything and getting very mad at me all the time. He keeps calling everyone in his family trying to get their, and everyone they know's opinion on my situation, then tries to bully me into doing what the in-laws have agreed I should do.

He wants me to harass my doctor until he gets a OB's opinion on the ectopic possibility. My doctor has already examined me, ordered blood tests, and consulted with a radiologist (doctor) that specializes in obstetrics and is highly regarded in the medical community (he read my ultrasound). I don't think it gets better than that.

I'm comfortable with the doctor's (and radiologist's) opinion and course of action. I don't want to ruin my relationship with my doc over this.

Finally yesterday I was so fed up with it all that I wrote a curt (but not mean) email to DH, his brother and parents telling them that I didn't believe that my 'personal medical condition and care are an appropriate topic for family conversation'. I asked them to 'please respect my privacy during this difficult time'. I also said that I would personally email them any important news, so they need not ask me about it, and I asked them not to discuss or share the info I give them.

DH is really mad. He says he doesn't know if he can have more kids or stay married to me because he doesn't trust me. He blames me for lying to him and keeping info from him. It's not true, but he never listens to what I say them blames me for not telling him in the first place.

:help1: I really can't deal with him any more. I just needed to get that off my chest.

Two questions..

What is dh, and his family, suggesting be done about the possible ectopic?

Could you set an appt. up with your doc for you and dh?? Just explain to your doc that your dh has questions/concerns...And that you would feel more comfortable if he (your doctor) addressed them with your dh.

Marie

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Last seen: 7 years 11 months ago
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Wanted to add...This may be helpful, or not..

Post on this board..

http://forums.haveababy.com/index.php?showforum=4

There are 4...East, West, Central, and Mosaic...There are 2-4 reproductive endocronologists that frequent all of them. These doc's get back to one quickly....You could ask their opinion..see what they say regarding your situation....Just keep the question to the point.

Maybe you could let your dh know that you posted?? You could give him the link so he could read their responses? Maybe this would help as well?

Marie

squirlyj's picture
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Last seen: 7 years 8 months ago
Joined: 11/06/05
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Thanks ladies.

I think DH just feels helpless and is lashing out. Unfortunately, it's in my direction and I'm just not up to taking his crap right now.

I went out this morning and he left as soon as I came back home. He went to the movies by himself. I hope he returns in a better mood, but I'm not counting on it.

When he comes home, I'll let him know the web site where he can post his questions.

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Last seen: 3 years 11 months ago
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I'm sorry your DH is giving you a hard time. I think men just deal things in a very different way then we do. That's not to say that its fair for him to treat you badly tho. I hope you guys are able to get some answers that will help the both of you.

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OH honey, I am so sorry that you have to deal with something like that. I can only suggest that maybe you email him as well as tell him. Be sure that you keep the sent email in your system. Once he realizes that you are keeping him involved then maybe go back to just telling him. If that will just cause more problems then don't do it. It is the only thing that I can think of. I think you handled the situation quite well. You definitely handled it way way better than I would have. I hope that things work out for you the best way possible.

Shelly