Doctor's appointment - frustrating

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Joined: 09/15/07
Posts: 16
Doctor's appointment - frustrating

Last week I received a call from the clinic I went to when I had my positive HPT. I had gone in for blood work to confirm whether or not I was pregnant. Anyway, they called me a few days ago and left a message to come back to discuss the blood work.

I wasn't even going to go, thought it would be useless, but at the last minute I drove into the clinic and waited for over an hour to see the Dr. I guess part of me started to wonder..maybe I wasn't pregnant? Or maybe I am still pregnant and just had bleeding.

The Dr. comes in, and says "oh you're here to get blood taken?". I said no, I had a blood test and was told to come back in. He then looked at the chart and said "Congratulations you're pregnant!". At that moment I just felt so awful. I had to tell him, no, I lost the pregnancy shortly after that blood test. He then said, oh, so you had an abortion. I kind of looked at him, and he clarified saying - well you had a natural abortion - it's just natures way of dealing with an embryo that has severe problems and would never have lived anyway. He went on about studies show that a woman's body will naturally abort a fetus with abnormalities etc. etc. I knew what he was talking about, but I just didn't want to hear about it. I had learned all of this from being on this site already. And I guess I didn't like his terminology.

So he writes up an order for an ultrasound, to make sure everything is okay inside, and I can't get in to have that done until November 14th. He said - well just keep going and there's no reason to wait, just keep trying. I found that odd, since I haven't had the u/s yet, and one would think you'd want to make sure everything is okay first.

Anyway, I'm having a crappy day I guess. I left the office and cried all the way to work. I guess maybe because it was the first official (i.e. from a doctor) confirmation of the pregnancy and it brought it all back up to the surface. And I'm still wondering if there was something I could have done to prevent it. My HCG level was 19 (I snuck a peek at the sheet), and I don't know if that's a high or low number. I've heard of some women getting some medication when their HCG levels are low. I wonder if I had had that done, maybe things would have been different. But it took two bloody weeks to get these results from the lab, and another week to get in to see the doctor to get the results. Frustrating...

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I am so sorry for your loss. No there is nothing you are anyone can do if a miscarriage is going to take place. Once they begin you can't stop them. It is sad. I am sorry your doctor was so insensitive. I would not start trying again until after the ultrasound to make sure all things are clear.

Come here anytime to vent. The ladies are awesome.


Joined: 05/04/06
Posts: 250

I'm sorry your Dr. wasn't very sensitive. I agree with the pp about not trying again until after the u/s. Thinking of you!

Jessa_2213's picture
Joined: 11/13/06
Posts: 129

I'm sorry your dr. wasn't very sensitive. And its also very rediculous for them to make you wait a month for an u/s. The entire point of an u/s after m/c is to make sure no "products of conception" are left... because that can cause an infection. By a month from now you'll already know that because you'd have an infection by then! That just seems silly to me.
As for you hcg number being low... it depends on how far along were. (I"m sorry I don't know if you've said that already somewhere and I missed it). Anything over 5 is 'pregnant'... but sometimes it can take a while for you numbers to go down after a loss. So 19 isn't really low... it could have just meant you were very early in your pregnancy. Just for reference my numbers were well over 10,000 before my loss... and a week later they were still only down to 600 something, and they said they were falling proportionately.
I think it varies person to person... but I hope you feel better soon and whenever you feel ready to ttc again, you might want to look into a dr. that will be more sensitive to your needs. ((Hugs))

Mommy to 2 angels

shellyhudson's picture
Joined: 01/13/07
Posts: 814

I am so sorry that you had such a crappy appointment. That would have broken my heart. I hope that you find the peace that you deserve.


Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Sorry you had such an insensitive dr. Sometimes I think they don't think and they just talk without realzing how insensitive they are--not that that is an excuse or anything. Sorry you also have to wait a month for an u/s.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I am so sorry for your news.



Uropachild's picture
Joined: 08/09/05
Posts: 1176

I am so sorry your doctor is such a pratt! It may all be matter of fact to him cause he deals with this sort of thing often, but he should have the bedside manner required to convey this to his patients in a sensitive way!

Hopefully once this is over you can find a better doctor. :comfort: I'm so sorry for your loss sweetie.