Last week I received a call from the clinic I went to when I had my positive HPT. I had gone in for blood work to confirm whether or not I was pregnant. Anyway, they called me a few days ago and left a message to come back to discuss the blood work.
I wasn't even going to go, thought it would be useless, but at the last minute I drove into the clinic and waited for over an hour to see the Dr. I guess part of me started to wonder..maybe I wasn't pregnant? Or maybe I am still pregnant and just had bleeding.
The Dr. comes in, and says "oh you're here to get blood taken?". I said no, I had a blood test and was told to come back in. He then looked at the chart and said "Congratulations you're pregnant!". At that moment I just felt so awful. I had to tell him, no, I lost the pregnancy shortly after that blood test. He then said, oh, so you had an abortion. I kind of looked at him, and he clarified saying - well you had a natural abortion - it's just natures way of dealing with an embryo that has severe problems and would never have lived anyway. He went on about studies show that a woman's body will naturally abort a fetus with abnormalities etc. etc. I knew what he was talking about, but I just didn't want to hear about it. I had learned all of this from being on this site already. And I guess I didn't like his terminology.
So he writes up an order for an ultrasound, to make sure everything is okay inside, and I can't get in to have that done until November 14th. He said - well just keep going and there's no reason to wait, just keep trying. I found that odd, since I haven't had the u/s yet, and one would think you'd want to make sure everything is okay first.
Anyway, I'm having a crappy day I guess. I left the office and cried all the way to work. I guess maybe because it was the first official (i.e. from a doctor) confirmation of the pregnancy and it brought it all back up to the surface. And I'm still wondering if there was something I could have done to prevent it. My HCG level was 19 (I snuck a peek at the sheet), and I don't know if that's a high or low number. I've heard of some women getting some medication when their HCG levels are low. I wonder if I had had that done, maybe things would have been different. But it took two bloody weeks to get these results from the lab, and another week to get in to see the doctor to get the results. Frustrating...