Hi everyone. New here I am Shelly, mom to two boys, ages 2 and 4.
I am currently miscarrying my third pregnancy. Not my third m/c, my third pg.
I just don't really know what to expect, so I was hoping someone might clue me in.
We went to the ER Monday afternoon because I was having some bleeding. I was 15w1d but they weren't able to find any fetal heart tones. I really want to avoid D&C if possible. The next morning I began cramping and bleeding more. Honestly it feel like I am having a period. Both the bleeding and the cramping are light, and they come and go. I intend to make a Dr. appt this morning if possible.
I am just wondering what to expect physically and from the Dr. at this point.
Also, what I find weird is that looking back, I had all the signs that my pregnancy was no longer progressing. I can actually point to a time about 10 days ago when I think the baby probably passed. I just thought I was coming out of the first trimester fog, but looking back, my hormone levels were probably decreasing which is why I was beginning to lose symptoms and look less pregnant. I don't know why that strikes me so much, but it really does.
Last edited by Mom22Boys+1Angel; 01-02-2008 at 08:45 AM.
from what I have heard every dr and m/c is different. I delivered my daughter at 16 weeks and then had a d/c to remove the placenta. Many women have just had natural m/c in which they just bleed and expel the baby naturally. Some women want a d/c just to get it over with. I think it depends on you emotionally and physically what you can handle. You doctor may want to do the d/c in fear of infection.
You will have anywhere between 1-2 weeks of bleeding once your m/c is done. Then in approx. 4-6 weeks you should get your AF. Nothing in the vagina for the first 2 weeks after the m/c. But like I said every doctor and m/c varies.
Emotionally you will be on a rollercoaster. Somedays will be better than others and some you will probably fall apart. You have come to the right place. The ladies here are very understanding and they will help you however they can. I am so sorry about your loss. Keep up posted and come back as often as you need.
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss-rest assured this board is full of a lot of caring women who will help you get through this. I know that my dr has not given me a choice either time i miscarried to not have a D&C-they scheduled them for the next day. It depends on how long you've been miscarrying for one b/c the risk of leaving the baby in there can lead to infections. If you don't want a D&C i would at least tell your doctor and ask if you can wait a few days, but i know from personal experience the 4 days i had to wait before i went to the dr were horrible. It is more of a risk to have a D&C because of the procedure, but i would discuss all options with your dr and do what you feel most comfortable with. Either way you can expect bleeding for at least a week and some cramping. Take care and again, I'm so sorry!
I am so sorry to hear that you are miscarrying your child.
I had to deliver my daughter as I was a bit further along so I was not given a choice. Can't offer you advice but wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you and that I am very sorry about your child.
If you do deliver you can ask to see your child. You may want to take photos or have the nurses take photos so that you can see them if and when you are ready.
There are lots of great books on infant loss which might help you get through this. There is also another board on here called parenting after loss which might help you to get through parenting your other two. I bought a really good book to read to my 3 year old called "We were gonna have an Baby but we had an Angel instead" The author is Pat Schwierbert.
I think the girls have given some great advice. I have not experienced a m/c myself, but i often think about it because i kind of half expect it now. Pessimism rules with me! I think that i would prefer to m/c naturally. I have read it described on here as going into labour, just too soon. You will have pains like in labour as you deliver the baby.
At 14/15 weeks of course it's a bit different to an earlier loss, so you might want to prepare to take photographs and spend time with baby. Maybe think of a name etc. I don't know if you would have to go into hospital to deliver, or if they would let you deliver at home. Has the hospital discussed how they would deal with your baby's remains? I have heard that some do a joint service and burial or cremation for babies lost over a certain period of time.
I am so sorry you had to find us here. It's a great board though, and i hope you will continue to post.
Mum to... Zane. Delivered by c-section at 41 weeks. Died due to Vasa Praevia. 16-17 October 2006 Ada. Delivered by c-section at 25 weeks. Her heart just stopped. No explanation. 7 September 2007
Co-Host of Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support.
Hi, im so sorry for what you are going through. I found out I had a missed m/c when i went for my 10-11 week scan, my baby had died at 8.5 weeks. Im not much help in advising you what to expect physically as my body wasnt doing it for me so i had to have a D&C which wasn't nowhere physically traumatic as i thought would be. I just wanted to say hi and let you know you have come to the right place, there is alot of help and support here. (((HUGS)))
I miscarried at 16 weeks but had to have a D&C as the baby wasn't coming out naturally. I can tell you that my doctor told me it would be a lot like labour if the baby had come out naturally. Because you were further along than most miscarriages, you might want to think about going to the hospital once the pain gets more intense so they can monitor you and make sure the placenta and everything comes out. They will also be able to give you better pain meds if you wish for them. Also, my doctor gave me the option of having drugs to essentially induce labour. That might be an option for you as well so there is less of a waiting time. I know it's not the same, but I recovered pretty quickly once it was all over. The bleeding lasted a couple of weeks. Also, I had milk come in which was very upsetting. Apparently, this happens more commonly with pregnancies after 13 weeks or so. I wasn't prepared for that and was quite shocked but it went away fairly soon too.
Thank you for the what to expects. We have decided to have a D&E tomorrow. I know that I can't deal with the emotional repurcussions of delivering my child into the toilet. Just can't do that. And the Dr. seems to think the risk for infection and hemmorage are high enough, I should have one anyway. I'd rather not, but most people have said it isn't too bad, and we need to move on.
Thanks for the heads up about milk. I never even thought of that, and it is nice to be prepared for these things.
Moderator of the pregnancy and infant loss support board
Shelly...I am so sorry to see you here I am so sorry that your baby has passed on
The girls have already given some great advice. I think you are making a good choice by going with the D&E instead of the D&C...less chance of scarring.....I also agree with your doc...that the bleeding could be very significant..
Make sure they put you *out* when you go in...Meaning, you do not want to hear anything....If you are having difficulty waiting to go into the OR...As long as the doc has signed off on your paper work. The anesth. can give you something to keep you calm. You may also want to bring your own extra large pads for afterwards...I remember the ones that I was given just did not cut it...Also, wear something easy like a sweat suit.
One of the other ladies suggested to ask what the hospital will do with your baby's remains....You may want to do this tonight..
Sending many prayers your way...Please check in with us when able..Will be thinking of you tomorrow morning
Hi Shelly. I am so sorry to hear that your little baby passed on. These girls have given some great advice. I will be thinking about you today and sending you and your family prayers. Keep us informed when you can.----Jennifer