EDD Approaching, MC MENT, LC MENT, TTC MENT XP

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3inpink's picture
Joined: 01/11/07
Posts: 451
EDD Approaching, MC MENT, LC MENT, TTC MENT XP

Hi All

I haven't posted here in a while because I just wasn't sure where I fit in. That seems to be how I have felt about all aspects of my life since my m/c in December. My due date would have been August 5th, all I have done for the past week is cry and be angry, I feel bad for everyone around me, but most of all I am feeling bad for me. We are TTC but our timing isn't so great DH's job is a priority and finding time for just us isn't easy. I guess only time will tell. The months have gotten easier since my loss, but the approaching due date is like goiing through it all over again. I am just so angry.

Sometimes I feel really guilty too because I do have children already and my loss was only at 7 weeks, I know some of you do not have children and have suffered losses so much greater, that I feel like a cry baby. On the other hand, I know that this is a profound loss for me and this is the only place I can come to seek comfort. Thank you all in advance for reading my post!

Lori Smile

Uropachild's picture
Joined: 08/09/05
Posts: 1176

Please sweetie, dont for one minute feel guilty over the sadness of your loss. It's true that many of our losses are at all different times during pregnancy and after, but that does not make any of them less heartfelt or valid than another.

It is all completely subjective. I know of ladies who have suffered an early loss and have not thought anything of it past 'it's just one of those things' and they carry on as normal and hardly think of it (on the surface). Others, i know, suffered an early loss and it completely floored them for quite some time!

Your stage in pregnancy or circumstances doesnt depict how you will feel about a loss. It's down to a combination of everything in your life, coupled with who you are. No method of grieving or not grieving is the right one, unless it feels right for you personally.

You are bound to feel sadness as your EDD approaches. I hope that you will find some way to mark it and remember your little one so that it will perhaps be less painful for you.

I am anticipating that Zanes birthday will bring the feelings back again in the same way, so you're not alone in feeling like that.

PREG MENT

I hope that your TTC journey is not a long one and that you will be blessed again soon with a sticky bean. I know that you will also be confronted with feelings about this loss when you're pregnant again. They say that someone who has experienced a loss goes through another grieving period when they are pregnant again and that is certainly true (for me anyway).

:bighug:

Joined: 11/19/05
Posts: 456

I am gonna totally agree with Sarah...

I am sorry that you and dh are having troubles getting together Sad ....

I also want to send many :bighug:

Marie

Hannah502's picture
Joined: 03/05/07
Posts: 66

I just wanted to send you big hugs....
:bigarmhug:

Bonnie

3inpink's picture
Joined: 01/11/07
Posts: 451

I don't know where I would be without the support of you ladies. Thank you so much for giving validation to my feelings. I am hoping for strength and patience to make it through the next few days.

Lori Smile

newbie2all's picture
Joined: 02/02/07
Posts: 93

I had two m/c recently and my first little one's due date wasn't until Oct 1st but I still find myself feeling just like you. I keep thinking about it coming and worrying about it. I don't know how I will cope through that day and just wish I could sleep through that entire week. Every loss is a loss be it at 7 weeks or at birth. It is a loss of a child, loss of our hopes and dreams and in many ways can feel like a loss of ourselves. There are so many unanswered questions and so many feeling that come with this that we never could expect. I remember before I had a loss hearing of people having miscarriages and sort of putting it off as just something that happened in nature. I will never again think that way and can't believe now that I ever did.

I ask myself will this EDD date feel the same every year? Is October 1st always set in stone to be this sad day for me? I know they say with time comes healing but it's hard to think that far ahead. With your EDD coming so quickly I can only imagine the feelings you are having. I guess we have to remember that grieving for our losses on our EDD is just a sign that we are human and we cared very much for the little one inside us. The anniversary's that come for any loss are always the toughest but we understand and we're here for eachother.

ltc
Joined: 02/08/07
Posts: 5

I am sorry for the your loss. I find my place in the same boat, I had 2 miscarriages this year and my first EDD would be later this month, I never officially had an EDD because I had the miscarriage prior to my first scheduled appointment. I was feeling okay but it now it is a coming back.

CHLD MENT
We already have 2 healty children so I feel selfish to want more. DH is not for sure he wants to try again, our last 3 pregnancies were unplanned. We had trouble getting pregnant with our son and had to use infertility treatments so I was suprised when I was able to get pregnant on my own. I guess if we are meant to have more children we will.

Good luck to you! You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Lisa