Today was my EDD...I made it through, mostly just by putting my head down and keeping busy. I think now (11pm my time) is really the first time today I haven't actively been doing something...I miss my baby, even though I never knew her. I miss the child she could have been, and the woman she might have become. Even though had I been able to carry to term I probably would have given her up for adoption I miss her. And I would have made sure it was an open adoption close by where I could have been part of her life and known her. I didn't give in to the temptation to say anything to the father, I mostly ignored him as best as I could. He didn't say anything, and I wonder if the day even registered as significant to his mind. Probably not.
I miss my baby, and I hope that somehow the woman she could have been may exist somehow another day. Although that combination of genes is not likely to happen again. If there is such a thing as a soul or a spirit, I hope her's finds another home and one day we may meet and I can know her.