I bought my DH a gift and a card from the doggies as he usually gives me a mothers day gift rom the doggies.I think it's our way of acknowledging that we are parents without getting too depressed about the fact that all our LO are angels
I still remember that first father's day so vividly. Mike's dad had had a heart attack a few days beforehand and had bypass surgery. We celebrated Father's Day with him in the hosp with the rest of the family. I had a really hard time. I remember breaking down in the middle of the hallway in the hosp and his Dad comforting me. He really understood it.
I haven't talked to Mike in months. If we were still together i'm sure i would get him something from Zachary.
My DH seems to be "over it". Rarely does he have moments when he thinks about the baby. In fact, he can easily ask about his sister who was due only days ago. I'm not there yet. When mothers day came around, I just let it pass as unremarked as possible. Yes, it hurt. He knew it hurt but also that I was still in the "ignoring my pain" pain stage. He asked if I wanted to do anything special, but didn't push me either way. I think that aknowledging fathers day to him would only bring back the really sad feelings he's gotten past. Even though I'm not past them yet (I have some really good days now - but I'm still coping) I know that I need to let him move on. I'll probably do the same thing he did, mention it once so he knows I've thought of him, and then get on with our completly non-realted activity (we seem to always be busy on marker days - it helps to get out and do things).
It's just past noon here and ugh. Father's Day is harder than I thought it might be. Father's Day is tough for DH since the passing of his father a few years ago and today since our loss in March. I just feel like I made it worse for him. I know he doesn't feel that way but I just feel so badly right now. I got him a card and wrote some nice things in it and just gave him a few tiny gifts, things I thought would brighten his day. Since I lost my mother and he lost his father, Mother's Day and Father's Day always have at least a moment of sadness but I just feel awful that I lost the baby and that light in his life isn't here anymore. I know it's not my fault and I don't generally feel that way but am just sad right now. Time to find some chocolate!
We will be spending time with my father in a little while and then later on with more family so it should help the day to go by.
Thinking of everyone today and sending hugs.
Last edited by Readyforbaby1; 06-15-2008 at 12:24 PM.
Reason: delete signature
Yeah, Mother's day was okay for me this year, since I was newly pregnant, and not thinking as much about my first loss. This Father's Day I was thinking a lot about both losses and dh. I wrote him a poem, it covers all our dating and marriage years, and there was one stanza about our loss, and well, we both cried together this morning. That was enough for us both.