I should be happy. I'm 28 years old, back in school and on the President's List. I take my last final of this quarter tomorrow. I have three finished and I don't have to stress on them anymore. The problem is, I start a new quarter on Monday. I wasn't supposed to be starting another quarter. Tomorrow was supposed to be my last day of class until after Kaylie was here. I know it isn't a huge deal. It really is good that I get to finish with my degree on time. I guess it's just that this is the first thing that was 'scheduled' because of the baby. We decided in August that I would stop after this quarter and go back next Fall. And I almost forgot about it. I was in the kitchen and I was thinking, 'thank God, I'll be done with finals tomorrow.' and then it hit me. It felt like I got punched in the stomach. I know I'll be ok, Chris keeps coming and giving me hugs since he realized it too, but I wanted to share with people who understand. He's great and sometimes I think losing Kaylie was just as bad for him as it was for me, he isn't your typical guy by any means, but with some things, talking to him about it still isn't quite the same, comforting always, but even knowing what it feels like to be a father, and wanting more children...he still can't possibly know this emptiness...and I don't want him too.
This is going to be a huge ramble if I don't stop now. I'll be fine. These days are getting further and farther between. Thanks for listening.