Finally something is happening

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Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852
Finally something is happening

After waiting 2 weeks from when the pregnancy tests started going negative AF is finally here (over a week late). It is a weird sense of relief and sadness. I have been trying to stay away from PO for the most part because I can't stop going over to the birth board to follow along with the ladies that I would have been a part of if I could have stayed. There are a couple of girls from the other BB that I'm on over there too and I care about their stories and issues but I just can't hear about it right now. I'm trying not to feel sorry for myself but it's hard. DH is being better but I think he is relieved too that AF finally came. It's like we can move on now. My b-day is next week and I actually completely forgot about it. DH mentioned it last night and it was like the last 2 weeks have been a total blur. I guess it's just been a lot on my mind. I really just want to feel happy again. I want to be happy for our friends with the new baby and I want to be happy for the pg women that I know. I guess it's just a matter of time.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I remember going through what you're going through right now, and it was the pits. Yes, it's a relief when AF returns -- a sign of returning to "all systems normal".

I'm sure it's hard to resist going to the birth boards, so avoiding this website is an understandable strategy. And I'm in no position to tell you what to do, so please don't get me wrong. I guess I just find this loss board so healing -- in my grief what I needed (more than anything) was to feel like I was not alone. And here we have a loving community whom we can vent to, and bounce things off of. It's so helpful. I can understand the avoidance, but the fact is that pregnant women and babies are everywhere else -- we can't avoid them (though I sure tried!! I looked away constantly!!). So coming here balances it out. Can I suggest that you put the webpage of the board itself into your "favourites" -- put this into your browser: http://www.pregnancy.org/bulletinboards/forumdisplay.php?f=184 --
which will bring you straight to this board, letting you bypass the painful temptations.

The happiness WILL return. The happiness for others WILL return. For some it comes quicker than others, but it does take time, you're right. For me personally, coming to this board made my happiness (for myself & others) return much faster -- being active really propelled me through my grief. It's been a while since we lost Kim, our last (Dec. 2005), but I'm happy today and I have been for quite some time now. You will be happy again too, one day -- I hope much sooner rather than later.

This board really helps, so I hope you'll keep checking in. We're going to help you through this.

Big hugs,
Nicole

shellyhudson's picture
Joined: 01/13/07
Posts: 814

I understand the avoidance of this site. I still do it at times. I have come a long way in my healing process but still have need of this board. Sometimes I need support and other times I just need to be able to tell someone that they are not alone.

I am so very sorry for your loss. It is good news that your body is getting back on track though.

Joined: 12/01/05
Posts: 1000

hugs! You are right, it does take time to heal. Do not feel guilty for not being happy over your pg friends. It can take a long time to come to terms with your loss and be able to look at other pg women without feeling that it should have been you. I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Please post any time you want. We're here for you.

Deb

Joined: 06/10/07
Posts: 1692

Sending you tons of hugs. We're all here for you. :bighug: :bighug: :bighug:

Joined: 01/25/02
Posts: 2023

Hugs hon. I am glad that things are getting back to normal. I understand avoiding the bb, I feel compelled to visit them, and then sad that I am no longer really a part of them. I am happy for those (mostly lol) that are pg and having little ones, but still just feel so very very sorry for myself too. Vent here anytime!!

:bigarmhug: