Finding support

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squirlyj's picture
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Finding support

So, after 3 miscarriages this year, I'm a bit of a mess. I've been trying to find support in my community and so far there is nothing Sad There are bereavement groups, but none have a place for someone with multiple miscarriages.

It's so sad how little support there is for people like us. My doc referred me to a social worker for counseling, but I was hoping for something a bit different. Like a group session or something where I don't feel like a nob bawling in some poor sap's office. I just can't get into one-on-one counseling like that.

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Last seen: 1 year 8 months ago
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I know what you mean about one on one therapy. I can't do it either. That is why I come here because you can talk with others going thru the same thing. Is there a group you can start in your area? As we all know unfortunately this is something a lot of women go thru and I'm sure there are others that would appreciate being able to have a support group too. Maybe post something on Craigslist? You could meet at a park or something. IDK...just a thought.

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You're very wise, I think, to be reaching out for support. I was in the same boat: no support groups in my small town here. So this board has been my absolute lifeline and sanity. (By the way, like yourself I've had multiple m/c's. You have my heart -- it's really horrible).

I agree with the pp's suggestion: maybe starting your own group. I bet if you asked, you could post a notice up in doctors' offices, ob/gyns' offices, the hospital, psychologists' waiting rooms, etc. A notice inviting people to join in. There are many, many people who have lost babies, but they keep silent about it, so we feel we are the only ones.

You see, I have no doubt that there are (tragically) many people in your community who have shared our experience, and many would have more than once. So if you DO decide to have a little support group, you might be surprised how many people 'come out of the woodwork'.

If you don't feel that this is what you want to do (or if you might do it later, but not today) -- take heart: we are here for you. We understand, and we care. Please use us a 'sounding board'' whenever you like. We're going to help you through this.

Hugs,
Nicole

shellyhudson's picture
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:bigarmhug:

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I'm sorry that you are not finding what you need and deserve. I don't think I could do one on one counseling for my losses either, but could probably do a group thing. But like the others here, these boards are my group therapy, and I whine to the few friends IRL that I can. Hugs hon.

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I'm sorry for your loss and for your lack of support. There seems to be nothing for us out there. Thank heaven for this site. But, I understand your need to see faces and hear voices. I think the lack of support stems from two things. Most women, when they hear m/c fear they will have one (or have another) and they tune you out. They feel bad for you, but they do not want to talk about it. If they talk about it, they have to think about it. Or, not really understanding the pain, feel akward and try to get you to move on before you are ready. It's such a taboo thing to discuss openly. Conversations are full of cliche's and platitudes and it's all very frustrating to us all. I think that if you have the strength to start your own group, you would be helping a lot of people. I don't know if I'd have the nerve or the emotional strength to put myself out there like that, but I know I'd be very gratefull if someone out there did it for me. Good luck.

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I don't think I could start my own group, even though it is a great idea. I really don't have the strength right now.

I'm glad to have you guys, though. I really need somewhere i can go to.

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:bighug:

I totally understand. When i lost Zachary and went to get help they suggested a group at the hospital that was all post-partum women that babies were ok and they would bring them to meetings at times.

I honestly don't know how or why more grief groups aren't established.