so i was watching a show last night where they were in a hospital setting. the nurse is setting up the IV for this guy laying in the bed, and i suddenly start feeling all panicked. my heart is racing and i start crying. WTF? what the heck is going on?
then it dawns on me.
the pattern on the curtains of the room is the same pattern on the curtains that i stared at for 4 hours while i waited to have my D&C after we lost our 1st baby in february 2007. the same brown/teal/cream leaf pattern that i stared at and counted the squares on while we waited in the pre-op room.
i can't believe that was so burned into my brain, that seeing it triggered the response that it did. i don't have many moments like that at all anymore, so it really took me aback. i didn't talk to DH about it, he was sleeping (he can sleep through a hurricane).
i have been nervous with this pregnancy (16 wks right now), yes. of course. but not as much as with DD. yes, i have moments when i think someone is wrong. but luckily they invented dopplers. and thank god all is well. in a few short weeks we'll get to find out who is in there at our u/s.
thanks for reading. no comments necessary, i just needed to type this out so hopefully it would get it out of my head.
I hope your u/s goes well and your LO shows his/her goods!
Hugs hon. It is crazy how quickly memories can be triggered and come flying back at ya. Congrats on your pregnancy!
I have been following you on your new journey-just as I did with your DD. I too have such a hard time thinking of the little things that remind me of loosing BeBe. namely, working in the same damn department and hospital.
I wish all the best for this little bean of yours-I know everything will be alright
Missing our September 07 angels together...
oh diane!! thank you so much. your post actually brought tears to my eyes. thank you. it sure isn't as much fun being pregnant as it should be after losing babies....the wind just gets knocked out of your sails...
i check up on you too...guess we both stalk each other! haha!
Last edited by Azmokitty; 06-10-2009 at 09:58 AM.