Most of you know my story. I lost Rebecca at 16 weeks and have been having ups and downs for the last 5 months, well the newest problem is guilt.
I have a lot of guilt right now because it was my job to protect her. I had an incompetent cervix which could not handle a growing baby. So in point it is my body that gave out, nothing was wrong with her.
The worst part is when I was in the hospital I thought the 2nd day in that it would be best for her to leave me because I could not handle the thought of being in the hospital or on bed rest for the next 6 months. I was selfish! Looking back I would have stood on my head for the 6 months if that meant I would have her here with me. Did she sense that I was giving up on her and is that why she didn't hang on? I don't know why this is hitting me now, I know guilt is part of the grieving process but how do I get pass this. I have asked her and my husband both for forgiveness in how I was thinking in the hospital..
You ladies have been wonderful to me and I feel so close to many of you. Family and friends don't understand, but I know you ladies do and won't judge me for my thoughts or feelings. I just need to know is this normal and what did you guys do to get past this part of the process.