Had a few tears today (baby ment)

9 posts / 0 new
Last post
Joined: 11/30/07
Posts: 117
Had a few tears today (baby ment)

My best friend had her baby yesterday (2 days after my d&c) I am so thrilled for her. I love my best friend to bits and she is like my sister (been friends since we were 7) She has called and wants me to go to see her, which of course I will be going in a few minutes. Was just so so hard going to buy her some little outfits, and thinking about my baby. I had a few tears in the car after I had been in the baby shop. It hurts so much. I know ill get through it, just life can be so unfair.

Thanks for listening

troynicole's picture
Joined: 12/06/07
Posts: 151

You are being very strong so be proud of yourself! Even though she's your best friend, that is a very hard thing to do-it'll be hard for awhile being around her and the baby but hopefully you can just tell her how you feel and she will understand. Just take it one day at a time and don't over expose yourself to the point of making things harder for you. Hang in there!


Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852


You are being a GREAT friend. I know how hard it must be for you - and you are such a wonderful person to be able to be there for your friend and share (as much as you can) in her joy. Just take it one day at a time. You WILL get through this. You ARE a strong woman.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I know this is difficult for you but you are being a great friend. It will be painful so don't be too hard on yourself.


Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

ditto, don't be too hard on yourself. YOu've been through a very painful thing, you're entitled to shed a few tears when something like this happens, regardless if it's a happy event for a friend or not.
take care

MissyJ's picture
Joined: 01/31/02
Posts: 3206

((((HUGS)))) It is perfectly normal to be having those conflicting emotions going on. Of course you are happy for your dear friend... but naturally you are mourning the loss of your own little one -- along with perhaps the dream of having a child the same age as your bf.

I hope that your friend is one that you can be honest and open with. Dealing with a newborn so shortly after your loss -- with all those additional hormones raging -- can make things even more difficult to deal with.

One thing that I would mention is that you do forgive yourself if for *right now* you need some space from your friend. This isn't due to not loving her just as much but you *may* need time to recover yourself -- physically and emotionally. Granted, since each person's grief process is completely different, you actually may do better being around her and the baby. My point though -- whichever works for YOU right now is what you should do and know that it is *ok*.

Hang in there hon,

~Missy (missyj@pregnancy.org)

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I also must say you are being a strong woman. I am proud of you sticky to your friend and even going as far as buying her gifts, now i dont think i could have done that so soon after a loss. Hugs and many warm fuzzies for your loss. Give yourself time and done worry we all grieve and some of us grieve even years later at times. THe women here are so great.


Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Wow what a great friend you are! You are much stronger than I am...
PLEASE know that you are totally allowed to cry and grieve for your baby, AND be happy for her too.
Know we are here for you and hope you feel supported.

shellyhudson's picture
Joined: 01/13/07
Posts: 814

I cannot believe how strong you are. There is no way that I would have been able to go visit a new baby with my grief so fresh. Do not feel guilty in the least about your tears, they were a perfectly appropriate response. Please come here and "let it out" any time that you may need to.


Log in or register to post comments