Haleys Headstone

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tina_haley_n_beanz_mommy's picture
Joined: 11/14/06
Posts: 212
Haleys Headstone

They finally placed Haleys headstone today. My dh and I along with my father, stepmother, and sister are all going to view it tomorrow. I bought a little angel to place at the top. We will be picking up 18 balloons to release at the end and some flowers to give her. I can't believe she has been gone so long. Dh and I went and viewed her headstone today and it is beautiful. I hope to get pictures to share. I am hoping this helps bring us some finality. I have started forgiving God but I still find myself mad all the time. I will share with you ldies tomorrow.

deborah74's picture
Joined: 12/14/05
Posts: 698

:bigarmhug: to you and your family.

MrsSchepp's picture
Joined: 12/30/06
Posts: 496

*hugs*

nurseapril's picture
Joined: 01/25/07
Posts: 48

:bigarmhug:
We are getting ready to have Lance's marker placed and I know what you're going through. Its really hard. Some days it feels like the wounds are so fresh...just like starting over again. I hope that this helps you. Please let us know how it goes.

April

Joined: 11/19/05
Posts: 456

Will be looking for your update tomorrow....

The little angel, balloons, and flowers, sound just perfect....I hope tomorrow brings an overwhelming feeling of peace for all of you..

:bighug:

Marie

tina_haley_n_beanz_mommy's picture
Joined: 11/14/06
Posts: 212

Thanks ladies. Unfortunately it rained and we will be doing it tomorrow.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Step by step, we shift through our grief, first finding peace and then -- eventually --acceptance. Well that's been my experience anyway, but I don't think I'm unusual -- I've just had longer to heal than a lot of other people on this board (our last angel baby grew wings on 11 Dec 2005).

I mention this length of time to hopefully carry a message of hope, and beleief that it will actually get better. Hang in there, sweetheart -- you'll find happiness again. It's just that it takes a while, which is a royal bummer.

I think it's all beautiful what you're doing for Haley: headstone, balloons, angel, flowers. It all reflects such a deep love for Haley. She's blessed to be part of such a loving family. And I imagine this will be a big step, in shifting through your grief.

Sadly, none of my angel babies received traditional funerals (all m/c'd; so too early) and there are no cemetary plots for us to visit them at. Instead, we planted trees for each angel, which have all become sacred places in our garden, and where we go to visit their dear little souls. [As a quick aside, I think that's a big part of what makes m/c loss really hard too -- there's no formal ceremony to honour them, and to grieve together. Anyway...].

But our tree planting was a close and loving family affair. It was a special thing to share, and I'm told it helped more than just DH and I -- after all, our parents lost a grandchild and had their own grief to work through, the aunt lost a niece/ nephew and so on. So it was really good for everyone to take turns with the spade and watering can. I hope that your ceremony is as moving as ours were.

Thinking of you,
Nicole

TyrantOfTheWeek's picture
Joined: 12/26/05
Posts: 1147

My MIL had purchased a double plot when Rob's sister died 9 years ago. She never imagined it would be for another one of her children. But here we are 2 months later and his name is STILL NOT on there. It is one of the kinds with the metal name plates that need to be bolted on and they still haven't done it yet.

careyayn22's picture
Joined: 09/01/06
Posts: 54

I hope you had a gentle day yesterday.

We have never done anything with my son's ashes. We still have them in our bookcase. I don't know if we will ever do anything, but we have been talking with my parents about getting a family plot/area to bury our ashes.

Joined: 06/10/07
Posts: 1692

:bighug:

tina_haley_n_beanz_mommy's picture
Joined: 11/14/06
Posts: 212

Thanks ladies. Nicole thank you for your post. It was what I feel. I have gone through the same. Haley is my only baby I can physically go and visit. I think it has brought some closure but its harder then anything. Tomorrow marks 18 months and I feel like it was yesterday. I have a lot more reminding me of her lately and its hard. When I met my niece it was like OMG Haley looked like her. And although thers 9 months difference it hurts. I can look at my son with not so much hurt and I think part of it has to do with my angel being a girl and him not.